Owl Eyes
by white owl2
Summary: engulfed in darkness, a young girl journeys to Hogwarts the only school that would accept her. can she usher in the light before it's too late? Will courage and bravery be enough? A 5th yr fic. Please Review!
1. My Arrival

I own nothing. The Potter books belong to JKR the queen.  
  
Chapter One: My Arrival  
  
To see with owl's eyes in the darkness  
To have no need of light around me  
To go forth blind but with insight  
To live with freedom born of strength  
  
These were my mother's wishes for me.  
  
Whether wishes come true is yet a mystery. I flip through the pages of the book we call life never pausing. For to rest on a page could be agony. I have learned to accept this darkness, this light, this thing some would call an affliction.  
  
Walking through the barrier onto platform 9 and 3/4 I am unsure. I am leaving the life I know behind. The familiar walls of my home. Voices I have known and hands I have held. What awaits me I do not know.  
  
I hear so many voices now and the resting train. Carts and trunks being moved along and owls squawking. It is disorienting. My mother is beside me telling me to write and that everything will be fine and on and on. I'm only half listening. She helps me push my trunk onto the train.  
  
"Watch out where you're putting that thing!" a boy's voice says.  
  
"I'm sorry" I apologize automatically. "I can't see, I'm blind."  
  
He laughs and walks away. What have I gotten myself into.  
  
The train ride is long. The car is empty accept for me and it bumps along gently. I can hear laughter from another car. I press my face to the cool, smooth window. Somehow it seems soothing. Sapa, my owl, sits perched in my lap. Sometimes she seems more like a kitten. I stroke her fuzzy downy feathers. There is something about it that relaxes me.  
  
The door opens and someone enters. I turn my head in their direction in an attempt at being polite.  
  
"I'm Hermione Granger" a girl's voice was saying. "A boy said he thought a new student was in here and one that was to old to be a first year."  
  
I nod. "I'm going into fifth year."  
  
"That's the same year I'm in" Hermione replies. "What house do you think you'll be in?"  
  
"I don't know my mom says Gryffindor because I am brave." I look down shyly. At the moment I don't feel brave at all.  
  
"We'd be in the same house then" Hermione said matter of factly. "What did you say your name was?"  
  
"I didn't, but it is Lucinda Lee" I tell her.  
  
She steps closer. I don't move.  
  
She's standing right in front of me not moving. I look up.  
  
"What?" I ask.  
  
"I just" She begins.  
  
I hold out my hand thinking maybe she wanted to shake it. She does.  
  
"I'm blind" I say for clarification.  
  
"Oh, right" she says. "I didn't know. I mean...I didn't notice."  
  
I like her. She is honest and straight forward. I think I've found myself a friend. Now I truly hope I am sorted into Gryffindor.  
  
Hermione sits on the seat next to me and we begin talking. She asks about my owl and my previous schooling. I find her easy to talk to. She says her friends Ron and Harry are in the next car but are playing exploding snap. I've never played that game before and I'm not sure I'd want to play with anything that explodes. I tell her so and she laughs.  
  
The train slows, then stops abruptly. Luckily we are both already in our robes.   
  
"We're there" Hermione says. "I wonder if you are supposed to go with the first years or come with us."  
  
"I don't know" I reply nervously trying to move my trunk.  
  
"Leave that here" Hermione says. "They will take it to your room."  
  
I continue to be amazed about the wonders of this place and I have not yet entered it. I am nervous and begin to feel my shy side taking over. I try to push it away but it envelops me like the darkness when the days could be better.  
  
I could hear a man's voice calling "Firs years firs years this way"  
  
The fog was heavy like a wet pair of jeans, hung on a clothes line to dry. It pushed my robes against my body and I felt as if I were parting curtains with each step.  
  
A huge hand landed on my shoulder. At least I thought it was a hand.  
  
"There ya are. Dumbledore said I'm to take ya with me in the boat."  
  
The man steered me toward what turned out to be a boat. I hated being steered by the shoulder but I could tell he meant well and I was nervous, and he was huge, so I let it slide this time. Sapa remained perched on my other shoulder.  
  
I step into the boat and it rocks gently. The water quietly slapped the solid sides of the vessel. Once the big man climbs in the boat moves off. It almost floats over the water moving quickly.  
  
We arrive at the castle. I can feel how it blocks the air around me. It appears to be huge! I will get lost in this place I think to myself. My nostrils are filled with the scent of herbs and I know someone is standing close by.  
  
"I will take the girl Hagrid" A silky smooth voice says from somewhere near by.  
  
Someone approaches me.  
  
"Miss Lee, I am Professor Snape" the man said in the same voice which had sent shivers down my spine. "I am to accompany you inside. If you will please take my arm."  
  
I reached out my right hand and took the professors arm just above the elbow. He couldn't be to old I thought for his muscles felt tight beneath the robes confining them. We went inside to a room full of what I decided must be first years.  
  
A woman with an uptight, strict sounding voice addressed the room full of us. She explained about the four houses and how the sorting ceremony would work. I became more and more nervous as she spoke. I was still holding Professor Snape's arm and I believe I may have squeezed to tightly because he removed his arm from my grasp.  
  
"You will be sorted first" he said quietly. "I will take you to be sorted so there's no need to worry."  
  
I said nothing.  
  
We walked into the Great Hall in one big line. The place seemed huge. Sounds slipped away from me and vanished into thin air so I imagined the ceiling to be quite high.  
  
The line stopped at the front of the room.  
  
Professor Snape whispered. "First the sorting hat will sing."  
  
And it did that very thing.  
Oh you might not think that I am grand  
But you'd be quite hard pressed to find another hat  
That would be willing to sort you on demand  
I do my job each year you see  
And you'll never ever find  
A finer hat than me  
Try me on a spell   
And I'll listen to your thoughts  
I really listen well  
You might belong in Hufflepuff  
Where the loyalist of them go  
Or perhaps you'll live in Gryffindor  
Where they're mighty brave you know  
If you're cunning and bold   
Perhaps you'll be in Slytherin  
Where their kind achieve all goals  
If you believe that knowledge is like gold  
Perhaps you'll be in Ravenclaw  
Where your destiny will take hold  
So sit right down on this here stool  
I'll sort you alright  
I'm a sorting hat I'm not a fool  
I'll pick your house tonight  
The hall broke out into loud applause which was punctuated by cheers and whistles.  
  
Professor McGonagall, the woman with the uptight voice now spoke. "I will call your name, you will step forward, place the sorting hat on your head, and it will sort you into your houses. You will then join your house at the appropriate table."  
  
"First we will sort a fifth year student who is new this year." She continued. "Lee, Lucinda Lina" McGonagall spoke clearly and Professor Snape lead me forward. I sat on the stool and he backed away as she placed the hat on my head.  
"Gryffindor" the hat shouted just as it touched my head.  
  
I blushed as people began to clap and cheer.  
  
"Before the sorting can continue I have an announcement" an old man spoke so that he could be heard throughout the hall. "Miss Lee is blind, though I believe you will find her insight regarding most things to be more than adequate. Anyone who might find it funny to cause her harm will find himself or herself in serious trouble. She is quite capable of taking care of herself, so I ask that you treat her with the respect I'm sure she deserves. If she requires your assistance I assure you, she will ask for it." The hall was so quiet I could hear him sit back down. Snape led me to a seat next to Hermione.  
  
The sorting ceremony seemed to go on forever and my stomach began to grumble impatiently. Finally the feast began and the table was piled high with food. I shyly served myself hoping I was about to eat things which I liked but not wanting to shove my hand into the various bowls. Probably sensing my nervousness Hermione began delivering a helpful commentary on the food which I was most grateful for.  
  
She introduced me to her best friends Ron and Harry. They seemed nice enough. I had to explain how I had been schooled at home as no wizarding school would accept me. I told them about America and my parents who both worked for the American ministry of magic. I explained my blindness, how my optic nerves were so small I couldn't see through them properly. I told them that it was a muggle condition and so there was no cure. They were curious and the questions kept on coming like ants in a parade.  
  
When dessert was over the same man who had announced about my blindness spoke again.  
  
"Before everyone retreats to their dormitories I have a few beginning of term announcements." He began. "The first years should note that the forbidden forest is off limits to all students. Some of the older students should try to remember this important rule. You are forbidden to do magic in the halls between classes for your own safety. If you can remember this we shall have fewer trips to the hospital wing this year." Some of the students laughed quietly. "Also, due to recent events such as the rise of Lord Voldemort," gasps could be heard around the room. "There will be a dueling club for fourth years and above. A sign up sheet will be posted tomorrow and I encourage you to participate." Everyone began murmuring excitedly. "Now if the prefects would show the first years to their respective dormitories, please."  
  
"Come on," Hermione said getting out of her seat. "I'm a prefect. I'll show you where the dorm is."  
  
"Can I take your arm?" I asked nervously.  
  
"Sure" she replied brightly.  
  
We began walking down the corridors making several turns. I wasn't sure how I'd ever find my way around this place. In some places sounds echoed off the walls and in others the sound was swallowed completely. Neither was ideal for finding my way around as both made finding land marks difficult.  
  
"You need to watch out for the stair ways" Hermione said. "They will occasionally move."  
  
"Move?" I said.  
  
"Yeah," Ron said coming up from behind. "It makes things bloody confusing if you ask me!"  
  
I groaned out loud. That was all I needed moving stair ways.  
  
"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked Ron.  
  
"Dumbledore wanted to see him."  
  
"I wonder what he wanted to see Harry about already?" Hermione thought out loud. "I guess we'll find out soon enough."  
  
We finally stopped and a voice said "password?"  
  
"Lion heart" Hermione told it. We stepped up and into a warm, cozy, room.  
  
"We give a pass word to get in?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah" Hermione said. "It is a portrait of what we call the fat lady. You give her the password which is occasionally changed."  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Hermione addressed the group explaining about the common room and where the dormitories were.  
  
Once she was finished Hermione took me up to our dormitory room. We climbed a spiral stairway and entered into a room with six beds. At least she told me there were six. Mine was the one closest to the door. It was a four poster with curtains around it and my trunk was already at its foot.  
  
I sat on my bed just listening to the others moving about in the room. They came and introduced themselves one by one and I was surprised to see them so polite and friendly.  
  
"What do you think so far?" Hermione asked sitting down next to me on the bed.  
  
"I don't know how I'll ever learn to get around this place!" I said.  
  
"Well," Hermione said reassuringly. "Why don't we start now by showing you how to find the bathroom."  
  
"Good idea" I said.  
  
I went to my trunk and pulled out my muggle white cane which I used to help orient myself when I moved throughout a building. I figured that after a while I wouldn't need it in the common room or in classrooms and perhaps not the Great Hall but it would be helpful in the corridors.  
  
"I've never understood how someone can get about with one of those." Hermione said.  
  
"It takes practice" I replied. "You have to take lessons and stuff."  
  
"Come on then and I'll show you where things are."  
  
I followed Hermione out of the room and down the stairs to the bathroom. I figured I could remember where it was at least. Next she showed me the table where she and Ron and Harry usually sat. It was somewhat off in a corner and would probably be easy enough to find. Ron was already sitting at it.  
  
"Waiting for Harry?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Yeah" Ron said.  
  
We sat down.  
  
"I hope someone good is teaching dueling this time." Ron said.  
  
"Maybe Snape" replied Hermione.  
  
"Hay, Dumbledore didn't introduce the new defense against the dark arts professor."  
  
"That's right, how could I forget about that."  
  
"Do you reckon they didn't find one?"  
  
"No they had to have."  
  
I listened in silence. I was only half curious. I was beginning to grow tired and fog was creeping into my brain. Hermione explained about each of the four defense against the dark arts professors they had had thus far.  
  
Finally Harry returned. I made an effort to straighten my slumped form to hear what he had to say.  
  
"What did Dumbledore want?" Ron asked.  
  
"They want me to join the order of the phoenix" Harry said. "It is a group of wizards who work against Voldemort to hopefully defeat him some day."  
  
"I've read about that" Hermione said excitedly. "It was in Hogwarts: A History and Famous Wizards of this Century."  
  
"Everything is in Hogwarts: A History" Ron muttered. "That's great Harry" he said more loudly.  
  
"I think it just increases my chances at getting killed" Harry said.  
  
Ron gulped.  
  
"I'm not sure that's possible Harry." Hermione said.  
  
I had read a little about Harry Potter and now I was glad. I never thought I'd meet him or talk to him, or be friends with him. I was glad I knew of Harry and of Voldemort because I didn't much feel like stupidly asking about who was who and what was what every five minutes.  
  
"Lucinda you look tired" Hermione said. "Why don't we go up to bed."  
  
"I think I can find my way" I responded.  
  
"That's alright I'm tired too." Hermione said standing up. "Why don't you find the way yourself and I'll just walk right behind you in case you get lost. I don't want to find you in the boy's dorms."  
  
We all laughed and then promptly said our goodnights.  
  
I found my way just fine but had forgotten to count doors on the way down so Hermione had to point out the correct one.   
  
"I hope I never go in the wrong one and get in the wrong bed" I said. "Maybe I could put a rubber band on the door knob. Do you think that would bother anyone?"  
  
"No I don't think so" Hermione said. "I'll do it. I've got one just in my trunk."  
  
She disappeared quickly. The door opened and then closed again.  
  
"There" she said.  
  
"Thanks" I said yawning. I quickly got into bed. Said good night to Hermione and fell asleep almost immediately.  
Author's Note About Names: The word Sapa is a Lakota word meaning black or darkness. It is pronounced SOP uh and I hope I have spelled it right. The name Lucinda means bringer of light and apparently Lucinda was also the name of some martyr who had her eyes gouged out. The name Lina means delicate, tender or light. The name Lee refers to a meadow. Just thought people might want to know about the names. Hope you like this fic so far. 


	2. The Castle in Darkness

Author's Note: The Potter characters belong to JKR and not to me so don't sue me over them. Lucinda Lina Lee, Sapa and Ragina Wiggins are mine so keep your paws off them!  
  
Thanks to A.Dee my first reviewer! The reason for the name is subtle and you might not even notice it.  
  
Chapter Two: The Castle in Darkness  
  
Silence is golden Like the dawn Waiting for something else To happen And when it does It has always come too soon  
  
I woke up before my dorm mates. It wasn't so bad. It meant I got the showers to myself and a bit of silence. I have always marveled at the silence of dawn. It is both welcoming and unfriendly. It is welcoming because of the warmth it brings and the first sleepy songs of tiny birds. It seems unfriendly because it dares anyone to enter it, to disturb it, to rustle its peace no matter how gently.  
  
I am seldom deterred from unfriendly places. The world is an unfriendly place when you are blind. At least it seems that way sometimes. It is made for the sighted and it bows to their wishes and their needs. My needs would be forgotten if I didn't get out of bed every day saying "Here I come world! Make room for me. I dream of many things and I work here too along with my brothers and sisters."  
  
After a quick shower I slipped on my robes and went to sit beside the fire in the common room. The flames behind me crackled and roared. Somehow it was relaxing. It was the only noise I could hear this morning. I began to wonder exactly what time people wake up around here. No one had really informed me of the routine. My stomach began to growl and I couldn't help wondering when breakfast was served. At the same time I didn't want anyone to wake up. I like the quiet of the morning and I wasn't looking forward to the noisy chatter of last night's dinner.  
  
Suddenly people began waking, showers were turned on, and conversations began. I sat just listening to the goings on. Hermione approached me.  
  
"I'm going down to breakfast" she said. "No reason to wait for Harry and Ron I suspect they'll be a while."  
  
"Okay" I reply getting off the floor. "I'll come with you."  
  
Once again we traveled through the twists and turns that are the maze of the castle corridors. This time I had my cane with me and I tried to gather more information about my surroundings. I decided it will take a while to find my way around. I wished there was a spell I could use to find the great hall or a certain classroom.  
  
Breakfast was quite an amazing thing. Firstly there was tons of good food. Hermione was already in the habit of telling me what food there is on the table. About halfway through eating Ron and Harry arrived both half awake. Next comes the owl post. Sapa doesn't come to me but I'm not surprised. Other people get packages from home, things they forgot or the wizarding newspaper. I know my parents are waiting for me to write so I don't feel sad or worried when I don't receive mail. The buzz of chattering voices in the great hall seemed to grow much louder with the arrival of the post though. As I speared my second sausage I am interrupted by one of the Prefects handing out time tables.  
  
Before I even have a chance to look at my time table Ron says, "At least we don't start with double potions!"  
  
I imagined there is something bad about potions but I'm not sure what. I figure it is better to ask and be educated.  
  
"What do we have first and what is wrong with potions?"  
  
"Herbology this morning then an elective it looks like" Hermione replied.  
  
"Snape, is what's wrong with potions" Ron added.  
  
"Yeah he hates us" Harry put in.  
  
"He seemed nice enough last night" I announce.  
  
"Really?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Dumbledore probably threatened him" Ron suggested.  
  
I laugh. "He can't be that bad."  
  
"He is!" Ron and Harry screeched in unison.  
  
"What classes did you pick to take?" Hermione asked changing the subject.  
  
"Muggle studies and Care of Magical Creatures" I reply.  
  
"We all have care of magical creatures but none of us has muggle studies" Hermione says. "To bad I dropped it."  
  
"That's okay, I can take care of myself." I replied. "Why did you drop it? Is it boring?"  
  
"No" Hermione mumbles. "My schedule was a little to full."  
  
"Or a lot to full" Harry said.  
  
Our conversation was interrupted by Dumbledore making an announcement. "As I mentioned last night a sign up sheet for the dueling club will be posted in the great hall. I encourage all fourth year students and above to participate." Murmuring could be heard throughout the hall. "I would also like to announce our new defense against the dark arts professor Mrs. Ragina Wiggins. She and Professor Snape will be in charge of dueling. That is all, you may continue on to your classes."  
  
"Do you want to sign up for dueling?" Hermione asked getting up from the table.  
  
"Is the sign up sheet posted already?" I ask.  
  
"Yeah Dumbledore conjured it in midair, levitated it to the wall and stuck it there while he was talking."  
  
"Really?!" I shriek. "That's incredible! I'm not sure I'll be good at dueling though."  
  
"You'll be fine" Harry tells me.  
  
"Yeah come on, let us sign you up" Ron prodded.  
  
"Alright" I finally agree.  
  
After we waited in line for a while to gain access to the sign off sheet we headed off to herbology. The lesson was easy enough for me. I love to garden at home so taking care of plants is really second nature for me. Professor Sprout seemed nice enough as well. I don't think she'll be one of my favorite professors but I don't dislike her either.  
  
Once back in the castle Hermione and I stopped off in the bathroom to get cleaned up. It is so easy to get dirt in the crevasses of one's hands while gardening. It sneaks in like the darkness through the windows at dusk, and it is not easily removed. I pulled my long, blonde hair back into a clip as Hermione stood by admiring the ease with which I can style it without a mirror.  
  
Assured that we are clean, if not beautiful, we headed to defense against the dark arts. Clearly it didn't pay to be late for any of the classes here. On arriving it was clear to both of us that Professor Wiggins wasn't going to be the polite sort. She seemed to be standing at the front of the room spitting out the names on the role. We took our seats quietly and were instantly reprimanded for arriving late. I noted that we weren't so late according to my muggle Braille watch. As I am often nervous around professors I did not point out this small but important fact.  
  
I pulled a quill and some parchment out of my book bag along with the appropriate book. Just then I was thanking myself for being smart enough to bring my muggle Braille labeler to school with me. I had used it to label each of my books with the title for easy identification and I would be able to use it throughout the year.  
  
Professor Wiggins had finished calling the role and was standing silent.  
  
"How do you expect to keep up in this class?" she asked.  
  
Nobody answered.  
  
"Miss Lee, I am speaking to you." She shouted. "Have you no answer for me?"  
  
"No mam" I reply. Then, fearing her wrath, add "I'm not sure exactly what you mean by me not being able to keep up."  
  
"How will you read, write, hex, block curses?" she yelled full of impatience. "It should be quite clear what I mean!"  
  
I felt sorry I had even said anything in response at all. I shifted nervously in my chair wondering if this class was required.  
  
"I have spells I use to help me read, write, and research" I told her. "I am quite good at hexes and blocking curses. I believe you will find my skills to be at the level of my classmates."  
  
"I believe that I will have plenty of opportunity to test your skills" she said in as cold a voice as I had ever heard. "Now you will, all of you, take notes" she shouted. I could hear parchments shifting and my classmates murmur probably about her unfairness.  
  
""Assidue exarosensa" I whispered to my quill as she began to talk.  
  
She droned on for the remainder of the class on the role dark magic had played throughout history. I was glad my quill was spelled to refill itself with ink independently and to write as quickly as I thought. I clearly had an advantage over the other students at that point. I was quite sure their hands were probably cramping while I sat with one resting at my side and the other supporting my chin.  
  
"Well I see Miss Lee has managed to take quite a few notes" Professor Wiggins said evilly at the end of the lesson. "Of course, she has done it the lazy way and I'm sure she will have taught the rest of you her little spell before the year is out." She dropped a heavy volume onto what was probably her desk judging by the way it sounded. "Before you are all corrupted by one lazy individual amongst you, you will write three feet on what we have discussed today in class to be handed in at our next meeting."  
  
The entire class had probably groaned inwardly, I know I had.  
  
Later, at lunch, everyone complained outwardly about the new professor. They called her things like Reg on the rag, Wacky Wiggins, Reckless Regina, the Pissy Professor, and Wiggins the wooping wombat. They talked about how mean she had been to me but I tried not to get involved in the conversations because I didn't want to talk about my blindness, the spells I used, or how unfair things were.  
  
Instead I had pulled out my time table to see what class I had after lunch. "Audiosolus recito" I muttered as I tapped my wand to the parchment containing the schedule. It was the reading spell and it caused the parchment to be read aloud to me, in my own voice, but only so that I could hear what was being read.  
  
I determined that I had muggle studies, said my good-byes, and wandered off to find my way to the classroom. I quickly noticed that the castle wasn't the best place for someone who couldn't see. I turned corner after corner and ran into few students. When I did they would say unhelpful things like "the classroom is back the way you came." I was feeling discouraged.  
  
I began to realize that the air surrounding me had grown progressively colder. I moved onward more quickly hoping to find someone to ask for directions.  
  
"Miss Lee, what brings you down here?" the silky voice of Snape asked me.  
  
I jumped in surprise. I hadn't known where I was and had not really been listening hard enough to detect the professors quiet presence.  
  
"I.I uh, I was just looking for the muggle studies classroom."  
  
"A likely story" Snape said. "I find it quite interesting that you aren't anywhere near it. Explain yourself."  
  
"I um, I don't know where it is exactly."  
  
"Five points from Gryffindor for wandering about the castle alone and being to stubborn to ask for assistance."  
  
"But I did-"  
  
"I would suggest that you not continue to question me or I shall have the pleasure of taking yet more points from your house."  
  
I didn't say a word after that.  
  
"Would you be smart enough to accept some assistance in finding your classroom?" Snape asked.  
  
I nodded.  
  
He offered his arm and I was escorted to the classroom which was in the complete opposite direction from where I had encountered Snape in the dungeons. I was late for class but the professor was kind enough not to take points though she did assign homework.  
  
Later that evening I explained to Hermione, Ron, and Harry how I had gotten lost and what Snape had said. They spent about five minutes griping about Snape and then we set to work on our homework. I was feeling like the homework for defense against the dark arts was because of me but my new friends assured me I wasn't the cause. They were convinced that Professor Wiggins was at least as mean as Snape and suggested that she might turn out to be even worse. I had to agree with them. She was the cruelest professor I had ever encountered.  
  
Writing the essay was slow going for me. I had to switch back and fourth between using the spell to read and the one to write. It was a long and tedious process that often made me wish that there was an easier way of doing things.  
  
I had written two feet when I couldn't hold my head up anymore and I decided to go to bed and finish my essay on the next available evening. Tomorrow I would have to write to my parents as well. They would be worried. I had been so busy I had forgotten about home and how much my parents would want to know about what was going on. I was already beginning to wish they lived closer so I could visit them on holidays.  
  
I quietly slipped into my pajamas, not wanting to wake my dorm mates, and slid into bed. I drifted off to sleep even before Hermione had gotten into bed and my dreams were filled with the unfair Professor Regina Wiggins. I woke several times during the night willing those dreams to leave me. I wanted them to disappear and never come back but sometimes we want and we do not receive. For if we got everything we wanted we would never appreciate the things we do have, those which we once wanted.  
Author's Note: The name Regina means queen if anyone cares. I used it cause it sounded snobby and mean. The spell assidue exarosensa means without remission write down thoughts and teachings. The spell audiosolus recito means to listen alone to what's read aloud or recited. Please review! 


	3. Potions and Pride

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews people. A.Dee don't feel stupid I don't read people's bios usually either. Everyone please review! I want to know that people are actually reading this because it is hard work and I may quit writing it if no one is reading. Updates will be scarce as the time for my thesis to be finished draws ever closer. I have to defend it on April 8 and I'm already nervous!  
  
Chapter Three: Potions and Pride  
  
To stir Like a dance of sorts A potion is brewing A medicine stewing To be measured in gallons and quarts  
  
Herbs and flowers Together will blend Someone we'll mend Potions hold great power  
  
Your hand be precise Someone's life depends On how this potion ends Mistakes will not suffice  
  
The potions classroom was full of sounds and smells. So many scents of herbs I could not separate one from another. I heard the sounds of cauldrons bubbling as if they were living things. Aside from the noise of the materials we were to use the silence was deafening. No one wished to interrupt Snape. To shake him from his thoughts could be deadly or at least lose your house a hundred points, that is, if you were in Gryffindor.  
  
"You will not make a mistake on this potion" Snape said evilly. "You are fifth years. I expect more from you then I have seen thus far. I have several projects that need attending to for those select few who might choose to ignore my instructions."  
  
I could tell it was going to be a long year with Snape in potions class. He had seemed nice enough when I had met him on my first night at Hogwarts but now he was beginning to live up to his reputation. I was sure I had accurate notes of what to do but neither of my parents had been very good with potions so I hadn't had the most complete education regarding the subject. I hoped this wasn't going to be revealed to Snape on my first day in his class. I didn't want to blow anything up. Why wasn't he having us do an easy potion during this first lesson. Perhaps brewing something difficult was just part of keeping up his reputation. I sighed and began trying to determine which ingredient was which. Why hadn't I labeled these with my muggle labeler like I had my books.  
  
He, Professor Snape, kept stopping in front of me to inspect my work. I could tell he was just waiting for me to make a mistake. I grew more and more nervous as I worked.  
  
Suddenly there was a bang and I was showered with hot liquid. My potion had exploded! The stench was horrible and it was everywhere. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and shivered as the slime slid across my skin.  
  
Snape was at my side in an instant fussing over me. He dismissed class after the mess was taken care of, and rushed me to the hospital wing. Hermione, Ron, and Harry trailed behind us.  
  
Madam Pomfrey fussed over me. She wiped off most of the potion and began lathering on a lotion to protect and heal my skin but not before she had ushered professor Snape and my friends away and drawn the curtain closed around the bed I was in.  
  
"What was he thinking starting you of all people out with that potion?" she said.  
  
I decided it was better not to answer. She probably wouldn't approve of my answer anyway. My thoughts were interrupted when she forced me to drink a bitter tasting substance which she claimed would help ease any after effects from the potion getting spilled, no exploded on me. At the time I wasn't considering after effects. In fact, I couldn't even remember what the potion we had been working on was for.  
  
"Perhaps you should rest here for the remainder of the day where I can keep an eye on you" she said as she cast the spell to check my temperature once more. "It has gone down some but it was quite high when you first arrived thanks to the carelessness of our potion master."  
  
She swept away and I could hear the curtains swishing behind her. Her footsteps retreated probably to her office and I couldn't hear anyone else in the room. I didn't want to be stuck in the hospital wing though.  
  
I next heard approaching steps. This couldn't be Madam Pomfrey. These were long strides that reached forward with a purpose. They were the steps of Professor Snape. No sooner had I come to that conclusion and the curtain was drawn back. He strode in and stopped beside the bed like a bird half perched on a branch unwilling to rest there longer than would be absolutely necessary.  
  
"I see that you survived your little mistake thanks to Madam Ponfrey." He said.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Good" he said. "It would hardly be possible to serve your detention if you were dead or critically injured."  
  
I nodded again. Surely talking would do me no good.  
  
"You will report to my office tomorrow night at eight o'clock. I'm sure Mr. Potter can show you where it is if you can't find it yourself, though I think you are much more competent than some others would like to believe."  
  
I nodded again. I was beginning to feel stupid.  
  
"Well, as you have nothing to say, I best be returning to my classroom where I'm sure that I will discover that my next class has ruined the room just as thoroughly as you had done Miss Lee."  
  
With all his bitter words finally spat out for good his sweeping strides retreated, and continued even with the opening and closing of the hospital wing door. As soon as he was gone eager steps approached.  
  
"Well done! The hospital wing on your second day here." Ron said. "That's better than Harry's record even."  
  
The three of them laughed.  
  
"Professor Snape gave me detention" I told them.  
  
"We heard" Hermione said half whispering. "You'll be stuck in the dungeons with him.alone."  
  
"I'm sure Snape won't kill her!" Harry exclaimed.  
  
"Well, isn't that comforting" Hermione said.  
  
"That stupid git shouldn't be able to get away with giving you detention" Ron said in protest. "It wasn't your fault the potion exploded."  
  
"Sure it was" I explained. "I'm the one that must have added the wrong ingredient."  
  
"But he should have been watching" Harry said. "It was your first day here and that potion is hard."  
  
"And you can't even see!" Ron said as if it were new news.  
  
"That's not his fault" I said. "It's my responsibility to deal with my blindness and make sure I can do things. Snape's just there to help."  
  
"He should have done something" Ron insisted.  
  
"Let me handle this" I said.  
  
"Do you really think that detention is fair?" Ron asked.  
  
"Ron," Hermione prodded. "Leave Lucinda alone. I think she knows what she's talking about."  
  
I said nothing.  
  
"Alright, but I just don't like her being alone with Snape the overgrown bat!" Ron said with a huff.  
  
"I assure you I can fend for myself quite adequately" I told Ron.  
  
"Yeah remember what Dumbledore said?" Hermione prompted.  
  
There was silence.  
  
Hermione finally changed the subject.  
  
"Will you be going to our next class?" she asked. "We're almost going to be late!"  
  
"Yeah when is Madam Ponfrey letting you out of here?" Harry asked.  
  
"I don't know" I replied.  
  
Just then she arrived to banish everyone from my presence. She told them I needed rest to heal and that it had been a traumatic experience for me. I got the feeling she was making me stay the afternoon in the hospital wing because of my blindness, not because I was badly injured or traumatized. I didn't argue with her though. I was feeling a bit tired and it would get me out of history of magic.  
  
Finally, just before dinner, I was released from the prison otherwise known as the hospital wing. I was starving and made my way directly to the great hall. None of my friends had arrived yet so I selected a seat and sat down. I bravely began sampling food from the dishes nearest to me.  
  
Hermione, Ron and Harry arrived with a swarm of groaning voices. Apparently History of magic was as boring as ever. I was glad I had missed it. Hermione told me right away that there were lots of notes for it and I could have a copy of hers. She insisted that the information was very important and would surely be on an upcoming test. Harry and Ron acted as if they could care less about the notes they had just taken. I began to wonder if the boys had in fact taken notes and I felt glad I didn't have to rely on copies from them. Although history of magic sounded rather dull to me I wasn't about to get bad marks in the class just because it was boring. My parents really wouldn't buy that excuse.  
  
Once dinner was over we made our way to the common room as a group. Along the way I noted where doors were and tried to memorize each of the vanishing steps on the stair cases. It was hard work learning this castle but I decided that if I was persistent I could succeed. My pride had been badly injured earlier in the day. I had often thought of myself as just as competent as everyone else. I was proud of how I had learned to get along in the world. But now, when I so desperately needed to fit in, to succeed and prove myself, I had screwed up. I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my schooling career by messing up a potion in Snape's class, I thought. What would he have me doing for detention? At first it had seemed like he would be one of the few professors to treat me normally, but now I had ruined that by screwing up. I had become the incompetent blind girl, even in his eyes. He had said that he thought I could find my own way to his office though. Perhaps it wasn't as bad as I thought?  
  
I sat in the common room and tried to hurry through my muggle studies homework. It was just a few questions we had to answer. I knew little about muggles. We, my family and I, lived in a wizarding neighborhood. My parents worked for the American Ministry of Magic and all of their friends were wizards. Since I knew so little it seemed like muggle studies would be interesting. Ron took an interest in my work and I couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't taking the class himself instead of divination. After all, he and Harry had already started complaining about the class.  
  
"Quero electricity" I told my muggle studies book as I tapped it with my wand. Pages turned rapidly on their own and when they stopped I cast the reading spell.  
  
"Where did you learn all of those spells?" Harry asked.  
  
"My parents." I replied "They had to find a way to help me read and write. I had a muggle teacher who taught me a little about cooking, cleaning, getting around with a cane, doing things in the muggle world, but I never learned enough to get by really."  
  
"What about those dot things?" Harry asked.  
  
"It's called Braille" Hermione said, her voice muffled by the book which was in front of her face.  
  
"Yeah, uh Braille" Harry repeated.  
  
"Well, I learned that too" I said. "I just never learned it really well so that I could be fast at it. Braille books are also quite large and wizarding books never come in Braille and have to be translated, which involves several spells, so they can be read in Braille."  
  
"I love that writing spell" Ron said. "Can you teach it to me?"  
  
"Ron!" Hermione screeched disgustedly. "You don't need it. Just be glad you can write on your own."  
  
"You sound like my mom" Ron informed Hermione.  
  
"Well," I said. "It is quite an easy spell but perhaps you ought to spend some time in the library looking for it."  
  
I grinned at Ron and Harry laughed loudly. Eventually all four of us were laughing.  
  
Once everyone was back to working on their homework I decided to write to my parents.  
  
Dear Mom and Dad,  
  
I arrived safely. I've already made three friends and I think I'm going to like it here. I do have one very mean professor who doesn't think I'll be able to do the work in her class. She teaches defense against the dark arts. The potions professor is also difficult. I got detention from him today. Don't worry though, I wasn't doing anything to terrible. I still feel bad about it though. I blew up my potion. It got all over me and I had to go to the hospital wing. I'm okay now, it wasn't a bad accident. I should have labeled my potions ingredients in Braille or something.  
  
The castle is beautiful. It is quite huge though. It has portraits which you open with passwords and stair cases that move. I've already been lost and late for class once. Hopefully that won't happen again.  
  
This letter makes it sound like I'm having a horrible time here but I'm really not, I promise! I love you both and will write soon.  
  
Love, Lucinda Lina  
  
Once I had finished I summoned my owl using telepathy.  
  
"Wow!" Ron said.  
  
"What?" I asked as I tied the letter to Sapa's leg. I just hated missing anything that might be going on in the room.  
  
"Your owl just appeared out of no where when you finished" Harry answered for Ron.  
  
"It's telepathy," I said. "How else am I supposed to send a letter?"  
  
"Um," Harry said. "Most people go to the owlry and just get their owls."  
  
"Oh, that's to far to walk."  
  
Hermione laughed. "I've never seen anyone do that" she said. "I've read about it though."  
  
"Wait," Ron said. "Let me guess it was in Hogwarts a History?"  
  
"Actually no. It was in another book. I can't remember which one right now."  
  
"Maybe you need sleep" Ron teased.  
  
"Good idea" I said raising my arm abruptly to send Sapa into flight.  
  
"She needs out the portrait hole" Harry commented getting up.  
  
"Thanks" I called after him as he made his way over to open it.  
  
Author's Note: Please review! The plot will thicken next chapter! A hint for next chapter, Lucinda gets a letter from her parents, serves detension, and has a talk with the Headmaster. You'll have to wait a bit for the next one though, sorry. Quero is latin for search so Lucinda can use it to look for things in books by saying quero then the word or phrase she is looking for. Just thought I'd clarify that. 


	4. Talent and Teachings

Author's Note: I own nothing. I'm a poor graduate student. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It means a lot to me because I put a lot of thought into this fic.  
  
Chapter Four: Talents and Teachings  
  
And the rain shall cleanse you Let all worries slip away Time weaves tales true As each dawn brings forth its day  
  
The butterfly goes free He's happy with his fate He doesn't play with destiny He changes while we wait  
  
From him we too shall learn Lessons born of great need For in the fire we shall burn If these words we do not heed  
  
The plans have been laid out The road ahead is set Walk forward without a doubt And your life you won't regret  
  
The owl had flown long. She had traveled all night. It was often that way though. She didn't like to be parted from her girl. The journey had been tiring but she was accustomed to the work and knew she would get a lengthy rest before she was required to deliver again.  
  
****  
  
Sapa came to me at breakfast. I hadn't expected a reply from my parents so quickly. She landed gently on my shoulder, as was her custom, and I removed the letter that was tied to her leg. I fed her several pieces of bacon and she ate them greedily. The flight had been long and I decided she must be both famished and exhausted. She drank water from my goblet and then took to flight.  
  
I had been ignoring the conversation which passed between my friends. I was concerned about the health and safety of my owl and once I knew she would be fine my attention shifted to the letter I had received.  
  
Dear Lucinda,  
  
We miss you a great deal. Your father has been very busy at work. I've been busy too but not quite so busy as he has been. The house seems empty and I miss our lessons and discussions at the dinner table. Are you finding that your education is at the level of your peers? I hope you won't get to far behind. I hope we taught you enough of the right things. We are considering moving to England. We wouldn't have jobs but the fight against Voldemort needs all the help it can get. I am not so sure about leaving home, it's all your father and I have ever known. He is braver than I. In fact, he was the one that mentioned the move in the first place. I doubt we will do it though, it is just a thought.  
  
He is working late again tonight. The house is quiet and empty.  
  
How was your detention? You'll need to be more careful around some of those professors. Don't give them cause to discipline you. I should think your father will be pleased to hear about the detention. He was a trouble maker in his day. If that other professor gives you to much trouble please let the Headmaster know. He is a good and fair man.  
  
MS. Paulson down the road fell and broke her hip. It is rather sad. They have moved her to a nursing facility until she can care for herself again. I hope she will recover fully. I've been taking care of her little dog along with that odd man who lives next door to her. That little dog is quite spoiled you know. It is unfortunate you aren't here to help with him.  
  
Well I best close for now. I have some things to do around the house and your father will be home any minute. I'm sure he'll write to you next time.  
  
Love, Mom  
  
I put away the letter after deciding that I would keep the letters from my parents to make a scrap book with later. I then engaged in some polite conversation with my friends though I wasn't really in the mood for talking. I was thinking about my family. I hoped my father wasn't working to hard. Would they really move to Europe? I supposed it didn't matter. I wouldn't see them anymore than I already did.  
  
As I was pondering the lives of my parents another letter was dropped at my plate. I knew immediately that it wasn't from Sapa because she delivered mail to me directly which prevented me from having to search about for letters. I had heard this letter land on my plate with a ping though. Hearing it had made it easier to locate. I opened the letter and muttered "audiosolus recito" as I tapped the parchment with my wand.  
  
The note read:  
  
Dear Miss Lee,  
  
I would appreciate it if you could come to my office just after lunch. You may miss part of your class but I have already notified Hagrid. This parchment is charmed to lead you to the entrance to the office. You will not need a password as I will be expecting you.  
  
Dumbledore  
  
Why did Professor Dumbledore want to see me? Had Snape spoken to him? Was I in trouble already? I couldn't believe what I had read.  
  
Probably sensing the thoughts of dread which swarmed inside my head Hermione asked, "Is everything okay Lucinda?"  
  
"I er um" I stuttered.  
  
"Who is the letter from?" Ron asked becoming interested in the conversation.  
  
"D Dumbledore" I replied.  
  
"Really!" Ron exclaimed.  
  
"What does it say?" Harry asked.  
  
Unable to speak I pushed the letter across the table. Harry read it so quickly that I was still unprepared for his response.  
  
"Wonder what Dumbledore wants?"  
  
"Let's see" Hermione said.  
  
"You don't think, I mean this can't be about Professor Snape and yesterday, can it?" Ron asked.  
  
"Maybe" I said.  
  
"I don't think so" Harry said. "Besides you haven't even served your detention yet.  
  
"Maybe he talked to Dumbledore and you'll be serving detention with him instead." Ron suggested.  
  
"Not likely" Hermione said. "Maybe it's good news. There's no reason to jump to conclusions."  
  
I thought that was easy for her to say. She didn't have to go and speak to the headmaster. That meeting was still a few hours away but I thought I was already shaking. I didn't know what to think.  
  
The hours passed quickly. Transfiguration was uneventful accept Neville had turned his tea pot into a turtle instead of a book. We would start on human transfiguration soon but first we had to practice several other spells and learn to add more detail to the things we had transfigured. I practiced by adding a line drawing and fancy lettering to the cover of my book. This was complicated as I could not visualize them in my head, but somehow I managed it and earned lavish praise from Professor McGonagall.  
  
In charms we worked on creating and directing fire. We had to make the fire ball levitate into the air to light candles which were suspended there. When it was my turn Professor Flitwick held the candle and talked to me while doing so, so that I could light it. I considered this rather brave of him. I had no trouble with the spell. I had been able to direct and play with fire for years. It was a talent that was passed down from my father's side of the family. He was a master of the elements, a gift that was both feared and coveted by others.  
  
Neville, of course, had set the robes of several students on fire. They had to be repaired with a charm cast by Professor Flitwick, and although the professor was known to be kind, he did take a few points here and there.  
  
Hermione took great pleasure in changing the color of her flames. Ron informed me of each color change, whether I was interested or not. Harry had fun sending flames at Ron and the two ended up playing a loud game of levitate the fire ball which resembled something like a muggle game of catch.  
  
I had grown bored of the lesson quickly, and when I sat down to rest, my thoughts strayed to Dumbledore once more. I hoped the talk would be short and not involve anymore punishments for my actions.  
  
Finally lunch had come and passed uneventfully. I had eaten little and repeatedly asked Hermione if Dumbledore was still seated at the head table. I couldn't be in to much of a hurry to meet with him, for if I had left to soon he would not yet have returned to his office. When Hermione had informed me that the headmaster had left I headed toward his office knowing that my travel time would be much longer than his.  
  
He was true to his word, and the parchment was a competent guide through the maze of the castle. Its pull even ceased at one point just before a staircase moved. Luckily I had the sense enough to pause and wait for further direction. I traveled in areas of the castle which I had not yet seen and was glad to have the parchment in hand. Perhaps Dumbledore would teach me this spell and I could use it to find other places. If things went well I decided I would ask him about it.  
  
When I reached the entrance to his office it was already open to allow me passage. I stepped onto the spiral stairway and was carried upward.  
  
"Miss Lee, do come in" Dumbledore's voice said from across the room.  
  
I walked forward, and locating a chair with my cane promptly sat down.  
  
"How has your stay at Hogwarts been thus far?" he asked.  
  
"Mixed I suppose" I responded.  
  
"Oh, and why is that?"  
  
"Well I've already earned myself a detention from one professor and the disfavor of another."  
  
"I see" he said. "Detentions are given out like candy on Halloween to many students in the school and by certain competent but perhaps overzealous professors."  
  
I nodded. Had he just made fun of Snape? Was he suggesting that the company I chose to keep would influence how often I got in trouble? That was something my mother often told me, and when she did my father would simply laugh.  
  
Dumbledore continued. "I believe that the other professor you speak of holds some bitterness to much of the world. In fact, I am certain that you are not the only student that will have difficulties with her at times. It is unlikely that she will act upon her ill feelings, however." He stopped but it seemed that if I had questioned him, or had the situation been right, he would provide me with more information about Regina Wiggins. I wasn't sure that I wanted to learn more so remained silent.  
  
"My reason for calling you here this afternoon is not one related to your studies, however interesting your experience has been."  
  
I leaned forward in my seat filled with anticipation. Why had he asked me to come then? It couldn't be bad news, he didn't seem upset though his tone was quite serious. "May I ask why then?"  
  
"It is in regard to the order of the phoenix."  
  
"The order of the phoenix? The group of wizards and witches working to defeat Voldemort?"  
  
"That very same" he replied in almost a whisper. He didn't need to speak loudly, he had my full attention. "I would like to ask you to join the order." My jaw dropped noticeably. "I am certain that you understand the extent of your talents and what their value might be to the order."  
  
"Yes sir" I began. "But I'm not even an adult yet. I haven't had proper training. I've just been schooled by my parents. I've never had any dealings with Voldemort. I don't see how I could be helpful in my current state, I mean I'm blind, and my training.well.it has yet to be completed."  
  
"Ah but you have abilities that surpass many who currently serve within the order. Your blindness does not hinder you, it simply presents challenges and would add a very valuable perspective to things." He paused and I took a moment to let the information sink in. "Your parents are quite talented and will more than likely serve in the order as well should they choose to relocate to England or Scotland."  
  
"You know about them relocating?"  
  
"Yes, your father has contacted me regarding possible opportunities for employment.  
  
I sat quietly thinking. My father really was serious about moving then. I wondered if my mother knew that he had contacted Dumbledore. Would Dad offer his services and assistance to Dumbledore and the order? He could be shunned for his abilities, but then again, perhaps he could light Voldemort or some of the death eaters on fire, and just maybe that was the solution for ridding the world of evil.  
  
Dumbledore was speaking again. "You need not decide what you will do right away" he said. "There will be a meeting of the order in a few days time and you must decide to serve or refuse the offer by that day." He leaned forward in his seat. "I do not expect anyone to take such a decision lightly. It could mean injury or even death to you or a family member. The work is difficult and the training will be quite involved. You would, however, be excused from some amount of your school work as the order business is both more important and should prove to be more educational for both yourself and Mister Potter."  
  
I nodded and thought some more. This decision would change my life for sure.  
  
I could not walk away from what I considered to be the light. It was my duty to do the best I could to bring light into the world. Voldemort could not win. He was unfit to take over and I could not stand by and watch others fight for my freedom from the darkness. I had a responsibility and I needed to follow through with it. My talents would not be wasted. I couldn't let them be.  
  
"I will serve" I said with determination.  
  
"Thank you Miss Lee" Dumbledore said offering his hand.  
  
"He can't take over the world. We can't live in fear and darkness." I replied.  
  
"The battle will be long" Dumbledore said. "We meet in three days time to discuss plans and rehearse certain communication related spells that will be quite useful in the near future."  
  
I nodded. We said our good-byes and I left the Headmaster's office feeling altogether different from how I had felt when I had entered it.  
  
After dinner I told Hermione, Harry and Ron about Dumbledore asking me to join the order of the phoenix. The reaction was mixed. Ron was worried I'd get myself killed and unsure of how I would fend for myself. Harry was glad he didn't have to be the only "freak." Hermione found it exciting and offered to help me with any research I might need to do. Once they had responded with their initial reactions everyone wanted to know just why I had been chosen to serve in the order.  
  
"Well, I'm not really sure how much I should say."  
  
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Well I have certain abilities." I began, then stopped. "I'm not sure that I should really talk about any of this."  
  
"We won't tell anyone." Ron said.  
  
"Some people think it is abnormal, so I don't often bring it up."  
  
"Well I'm a parselmouth and how much more creepy can you get?" Harry said jokingly.  
  
"Yeah we won't just abandon you because you're different" Hermione said. "Besides most people are just completely stupid about these things."  
  
"Alright, but this is all just between us until there is some reason for others to know."  
  
"Okay"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Agreed"  
  
Ron, Harry, and Hermione replied one after the other.  
  
"I can do some wandless magic, quite a lot actually, and I can control the elements to some degree."  
  
"Really!" Ron gasped excitedly.  
  
"That's tons more useful than being a parselmouth." Harry said.  
  
"I've read about that" Hermione said. "It is really rare to have both traits in one person and it is almost always passed down through generations."  
  
Before Ron could make fun of Hermione I said, "It comes down through my father's side. He uses the talents a lot in his job as auror with the ministry." Satisfying their curiosities had been easier than I had expected. They really were true friends. So many other people had rejected me because of my talents. Being blind seemed to be simple compared to having the ability to make a raging wind go hurling passed. It was usually easy enough to hide the fact that I rarely needed a wand. I simply used one anyway. My father had learned, and then taught me, that it was better to keep our gifts a secret and that way surprise others at times of need. It was not something to be on public display for all the world to see. He had commented that Voldemort would do his best to get someone with our talents to join his army. I wouldn't join. He could kill me first, but I would never bow to him or his will. Evil had no place in my life accept for where it balanced the light. I began to wonder what a world without Voldemort would be like. I was sure there was other evil but perhaps none so terrible as he who must not be named. And because he was so evil I had to name him. I couldn't go on being in denial of his existence. My mother had taught me that. Name your enemies and face them is what she always said.  
  
I pulled myself away from my thoughts long enough to remember that I had detention with Snape. I jumped to my feet and quickly told my friends where I was going. I seemed to already know the way to the dungeons and I was grateful for that because I was late.  
  
I knocked on Professor Snape's office door.  
  
"Enter" he said from behind the door.  
  
I walked in.  
  
"You are late miss Lee."  
  
"Yes sir, I am sorry."  
  
"Has your little friend Potter with his inconsiderate nature rubbed off on you already?"  
  
"No sir, it has been a very long and thought provoking day and I was just considering a few things and lost track of the time."  
  
"Well what could be so important as to occupy one's thoughts so thoroughly that time is no longer of importance?"  
  
"The order of the phoenix." I said plainly.  
  
"Miss Lee, I advise you to be careful of to whom you mention such a thing."  
  
"I didn't realize the order was a secret. Dumbledore never said I should be cautious."  
  
"Well he is getting up there in years and things just seem to slip his mind every now and then, sometimes important things." He shuffled some papers on the desk. "There are the children of death eaters in this very school." He continued. "I wouldn't want you mentioning your status in the order to the wrong person so do be careful Miss Lee."  
  
"Yes sir, I will." I assured him.  
  
He leaned across his desk. "There are a great many who would like to kill a person such as yourself." He said emphasizing the word kill. I shivered. "I am well aware of your abilities as Dumbledore notified a few of us select professors before your arrival but I don't suppose you would want others finding out."  
  
"Uh, no sir" I said. Then admitted, "I did tell Harry, Ron, and Hermione since they are my friends but asked them to keep it a secret."  
  
"Hopefully they will have enough sense to do so." He said rising from his chair. "They do seem to stick together as a group though so I might not worry to much. If others find out you'll just have to be even more careful."  
  
He swept passed me and through the door. I followed.  
  
"We will be working with ingredient identification for the next three evenings." Snape began. "I believe you had some trouble with it."  
  
"I did bring my Braille labeler and could label my ingredients" I suggested.  
  
"What in Merlin's name is a Braille labeler?" he asked.  
  
"A muggle tool that makes raised dots to be read with one's finger."  
  
"The other students must identify most ingredients by sight and you will learn the same by using your sense of smell and touch. Of course, some ingredients are rather poisonous if you were to touch them so labeling will serve as a good complement. Now we shall begin and I do not plan on giving you the opportunity to blow up my classroom again."  
  
The drilling went on and on with me identifying plants and listing their properties and problems I may have when using them in potions. Snape wanted perfection and the night grew late. I was finally excused at eleven. I walked sleepily back to the tower realizing that I had not yet finished the muggle studies or the history of magic homework.  
  
I stayed up late that night. My books were spread across the table and the quill wrote as fast as my thoughts could be formed. At three in the morning I finally crawled into bed, completely exhausted.  
  
Author's Note: Please review. What do you think of her being in the order and the powers I gave her? What a long chapter! Next chapter Lucinda and Professor Wiggins have a duel. 


	5. Changing of Roles

Author's Note: Glad you like it Sev1970. I'm glad the descriptions seem vivid. I do struggle with them. Agela, I agree but I think sighted people could also appreciate the story. I've tried to add explanatory stuff about how Braille works and stuff so maybe that will help them get more interested. I have no idea why some fics get more reviews than others. I think it just happens. Anyway, on to the chapter cause I doubt anyone is caring what I'm thinking. Grin.  
  
Chapter Five: A Changing of Roles  
  
At waking the day should seem new Sometimes the mind and the body do too  
  
When change creeps inside and sculpts your soul You can't protest for it's making you whole  
  
Old thoughts from you depart They'll slip away and change your heart  
  
Your hands shall mold the Earth Creating change through rebirth  
  
For others you shall lead the way Their thoughts you'll change on this fine day  
  
Fear not the change that reaches out Take hold of it and do not doubt  
  
Walk with strength that is unseen And change my friend it's meant to be  
  
I dreaded going to defense against the dark arts. My only hope was that someone had poisoned Professor Wiggins during the night and that she had slipped away quietly. This was not to be, I realized as I heard her talking from my place outside the classroom door. If I didn't cross the threshold soon I would be late but my feet felt like lead.  
  
My father used to always tell me that I could affect others by my actions. That everything I did and every choice I made would affect another. I often didn't believe him but as I grew older I began to see the change that occurred in others. If someone was having a bad day and I said something nice to them their mood would change for the better. I began to realize this was true of anyone and that we truly have an influence on those around us.  
  
I wasn't sure what influence I might have on Ms. Wiggins but I knew she had influenced my feelings. I had slipped from confidence to fearfulness in just a short time within her classroom. I needed to take hold of myself again and push away my altered thoughts. She was just a woman, perhaps a powerful witch but so was I.  
  
I took two steps forward, entering the classroom and made my way to a seat.  
  
"Today we will begin dueling" she announced to the class.  
  
I thought this was a good sign. Practical lessons always helped to keep my mind engaged.  
  
"I will put you into pairs and you must prove that you can both block and send successful curses by the end of the class period." She said as if daring us to even make a mistake. "First Miss Lee and I will duel as I must make sure that she is capable of not getting herself killed."  
  
I thought that killed was a little far fetched. After all, the class wasn't going to be allowed to practice unforgivables on each other.  
  
"Come to the front Miss Lee."  
  
I left my cane and book bag behind and slowly made my way down the center aisle between the desks. As I walked I drew my wand and took a deep breath to calm myself. I would show this woman what I could do and she was going to be sorry. My anger was rapidly taking over.  
  
"And now we will bow" Ms Wiggins said. I made sure I was facing her and began to focus on her like an archer does on his target.  
  
My bow was shallow and abrupt. I wasn't sure this woman deserved my respect. I stood, wand ready, thoughts flowing out of me so that my mind could be clear.  
  
"We will attempt to disarm each other Miss Lee" she explained. Her tone was almost laughing. She was mocking me. I could hear the unreleased laughter that had built up inside her. She couldn't know of all the unsaid things I could hear.  
  
Ms. Wiggins began the count.  
  
"One"  
  
I pulled myself up so I was standing taller and straighter.  
  
"Two"  
  
I took a deep breath and concentrated harder. I would need to focus on blocking her first curse.  
  
"Three!"  
  
She was faster than I was I was sure. But then there was an unexpected pause.  
  
"Expelliarmus!" she shouted. She had moved to the left probably thinking that her new position would throw me off.  
  
I swished my wand and the curse fizzled out somewhere between us.  
  
Before Ms. Wiggins had a chance to realize that she hadn't disarmed me I was ready with a curse. "Rictusempra!" I shouted.  
  
I heard no response and then a groan so assumed the curse had hit its mark.  
  
"Expelliarmus" Ms. Wiggins tried to say between the waves of laughter which had taken over.  
  
It was all to easy. I smiled and laughed at her as I deflected the hex. I then decided that I might as well take her out while she was down already and not drag this boring duel out any longer.  
  
"Expelliarmus!" I bellowed, and all the anger I felt for Ms. Wiggins spilled forth.  
  
I heard a bang and then a thud. The next thing I knew the class had gasped audibly and someone was running to the front of the room. Whispers stirred the air like a thousand leaves in Autumn. I was fixed to where I stood, unable to move. I figured the duel was over but what if she was able to jump up and curse me.  
  
Ron was at my side. "That was bloody brilliant!"  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"She went crashing into the wall and then splat! She is flat out on the floor! I'd say you won that duel for sure."  
  
"Is she okay?" I asked.  
  
"Don't know" Ron said thinking. "You knocked her out for sure."  
  
"I think she needs to go to the hospital wing" Hermione said from the other side of the room. "She's been knocked out!"  
  
The class erupted into cheers and heart felt applause. Some of my classmates began whistling or pounding their palms on the desks. I didn't know what to think. I had injured a teacher! Then I realized that perhaps I had taught her a lesson and maybe it would help to change her opinion of me. But what if her opinion didn't change for the better?  
  
"We'd better levitate her to the hospital wing" Harry was saying across the room. I could hear him clearly even through the cheering and I slowly made my way over to him wishing I had my cane. The classroom was full of excited students and they were all in the way. I slowly pushed my way through the gathered crowd.  
  
"What has been going on in here?" Professor Dumbledore boomed as he made his way to the front of the room.  
  
The class fell silent.  
  
"Ms. Wiggins has been knocked out" Hermione supplied.  
  
"Yes, I can see that" Dumbledore replied quietly. Everyone had their attention focused on him.  
  
Here it comes I thought. I am in big trouble. They'll expel me. I might have to serve detention for the rest of the year! If I was given detention I hoped it wouldn't be with Professor Wiggins. She'd probably make me duel with her until she won a match.  
  
"Exactly which one of you knocked Ms. Wiggins out?"  
  
"I, I, it was m me sir" I said trembling.  
  
"Well," Dumbledore said, his voice returning to its usually merry state. "Congratulations Miss Lee! You have proven your dueling skills quite adequately. Ten points to Gryffindor."  
  
Everyone began to cheer again. I felt so relieved. I let out the breath I had been clutching like a life jacket.  
  
"Now," Dumbledore said speaking above the crowd. "We must get Ms. Wiggins to the hospital wing for a thorough examination."  
  
As Ms. Wiggins was levitated out the classroom door and down the hall I stayed behind in the room which had now become a party. Someone had snuck to the kitchens for refreshments and produced them as soon as Dumbledore had left. We all assumed that class had now been canceled and the party began.  
  
We were almost late for potions because we had been focused on the party. With a few wand flicks from some of the better students the room was made clean once more and we all headed for the dungeons.  
  
Snape was in his usual sour state as he was every class. I wondered why he had at least treated me fairly outside of class. He was never fair during class.  
  
"Miss Lee!" he was snapping at me already and I was only chopping ingredients. I hadn't even begun my potion. "Hurry up, we don't have all day for this potion. Why are you daydreaming?"  
  
"Uh"  
  
"Five points will be taken" he said evilly as he stood, his face just a few inches from mine.  
  
I sighed and continued on about my work. I tried to pay better attention and not let my thoughts wander. I wondered if Snape ever day dreamed because he sure wasn't very tolerant of those who did.  
  
"Potter you are not following directions. I should think that one as famous as yourself would know what he was doing when it concerned only a simple potion." Snape began pacing up and down the center aisle like a cat stocking its pray. "Ten points and if I catch you ignoring the directions again it'll be fifty."  
  
I decided I better not talk to anyone and should just focus on my potion. Luckily when the class had ended no one had blown anything up and no one was sent to the hospital wing.  
  
At dinner we discussed sending funny get well notes to Ms. Wiggins. It was decided that we would send get well cards that also made fun of her. By the time dinner was over all of the houses knew about the plan and most of the students agreed to participate. Those students that thought the plan was a bad idea had at least agreed to keep their mouths shut and not mention the cards to any of the professors.  
  
Back in the common room most everyone was working on constructing home made cards for the defense against the dark arts teacher.  
  
I wrote:  
  
Ms. Wiggins,  
  
I hope you are awake and feeling better soon. I'm sorry I knocked you out. I didn't realize that I needed to go easy on you during our first duel. Perhaps we can try again sometime if you are up to it. We could duel outside on the grass which is much softer.  
  
Miss Lee  
  
Harry read over my shoulder and burst out laughing. He passed the card to Ron who read it and began coughing and choking.  
  
On my way to the dungeons to serve the second night of detention I thought about the order of the phoenix. What did it mean to me that I was now a member? I had gotten angry before cursing Ms. Wiggins. I would need to learn to control that anger. I could not just act out of reflex anymore. There were important duties I would now have and I would be learning more dangerous curses. I might, no I couldn't think about it. Yes, I had to think about it, had to live in reality. I might even have to kill someone as part of serving in the order. What would that be like? Could I really do it? Who was I becoming? I didn't know but I was going to find out.  
  
Author's Note: Please Review. Anything you would like to see in this fic just let me know and maybe I can work it in. No promises though. 


	6. Dueling with Snape

Author's Note: Vanyaria Darkshadow thanks for saying this fic is a work of art. You made me turn all red! I agree that Regina Wiggins is a bit of a cow but at least Lucinda got to kick her ass. I think Snape would be the least likely to baby her so that is why I wrote him that way. I hate being babied because of my blindness too. Plus I love Snape so I had to give him a good reaction. He's just such a round character. A.Dee good to see you back reviewing. She'll learn to control her temper eventually with a little help from Snape. Sage and Snape thanks for reviewing. I love your fics by the way. Writing in the first person is hard for me and I struggle between past and present tense but the challenge is good for my writing skills. Gabby yep your story is fun. Yep I live in Colorado but I usually don't tell people where on the net. You never know who might hunt you down or something! Lady Russell Holmes thanks for reading the fic and glad you like it. Anyone who enjoys reading Harry getting banged up a bit should go read her fic Broken Beyond Healing. In case anyone was wondering, I alternate my fics when I update. I mean when I do an Owl Eyes chapter the next thing I post will be a Summer of Ghosts chapter. Just thought I'd let people know what to expect.  
Chapter Six: Dueling with Snape  
  
A dance with the master A duel of sorts A pairing that's equal A challenge for sure  
  
Minds at the ready Harts that mean well Wands trained on targets Words chosen well  
  
Bow and be graceful Rise and be warned The duel has started The lesson is now  
The Dark Lord swept through the shadowy halls of his castle. Something inside him stirred to life. His Enemy Albus Dumbledore was planning something. Lord Voldemort could feel the plan thickening in the air. It was affecting his breathing which came in short, excited inspirations and expirations which were moist with anticipation. Was the other really stronger than himself? He had many faithful death eaters but were they all faithful? Perhaps he would summon them and test their loyalty once more.  
  
****  
  
The cold air from the dungeons slid right through my robes and touched my skin. I walked forward attempting to press my robes in closer. I couldn't understand how anyone could spent so much time in this frigid place. As I walked my cane tapped out a quiet rhythm which echoed off the walls and back to me.  
  
I entered Professor Snape's classroom through the open door. Another night of detention. At least it hadn't been that bad so far. I strode across the room to his office. Locating the doorway with my cane I realized that the door had been left open. I paused in the doorway.  
  
"Miss Lee" Snape's silky voice greeted me. I shivered. Perhaps I found that voice attractive. No! I certainly did not. He was a professor. I was to young. I could not be interested in him. I felt my form slump against the doorjamb in confusion.  
  
"Good evening Professor" I stammered trying not to sound stupid.  
  
"I hear you participated in quite the exciting duel this afternoon" he said.  
  
"Yes sir." I tried to hide my smile and my pride but he saw right through me.  
  
"I wouldn't get so excited" he said. "You'll have plenty of time for real dueling soon. The order wouldn't have you join untrained such as you are."  
  
I shivered this time in fear. What would they do with me? Perhaps they'd throw me in the middle of a circle of death eaters and see if I could survive. If I came out alive they would see me fit for the order and if not, well I'd simply be dead.  
  
I stood and said nothing.  
  
"Perhaps you would like to practice and sharpen your dueling skills?" Snape asked. His voice was tempting me to engage in the activity. I wondered if he sensed my nervousness or if he was tired of reciting potions ingredients already. "I should like to view your dueling skills for myself, before I pair you with Potter. Though unlike Ms. Wiggins, I should be concerned that you might Seriously injure Mr. Potter." He emphasized the words seriously injure.  
  
"Very well" I said plainly. It seemed the less I said around the man the less trouble I could get into.  
  
"Follow me" he said as he slid passed me in the doorway.  
  
I walked along behind him quickly. My cane now tapped quickly as my long strides matched his. I accidentally wacked him on the back of one of his calves with the cane tip.  
  
His footsteps stopped.  
  
I sucked in a breath.  
  
"That cane of yours will get you into trouble" he said.  
  
"Not usually" I said. "But perhaps with you" I teased. "I'm quite sorry though."  
  
"Perhaps it would be best if you took my arm so that you are not given another opportunity to maim me."  
  
I could not hold back my laughter.  
  
"Are you quite done mocking me?" he asked.  
  
I stifled all but a few last giggles and reached for his arm. We were off again, our long strides eating up the distance between the potions classroom and what I would discover to be the charms classroom.  
  
"Professor Flitwick never works late" Snape commented as we entered.  
  
He led me to one side of the room and promptly stopped. I let his arm slip from my grasp and my own return to my side. I drew my wand to signal that I was ready to duel. His steps retreated, he pivoted with a swish of robes, and there was a pause. I assumed he was waiting for me and so I bowed deeply. After all, I did feel he was worthy of my respect. He said and did nothing so I took up the count.  
  
"One.Two.Three!" I counted.  
  
We cast our spells to disarm at the same time and both were easily deflected. We both tried a second time and failed. He moved quickly to his right, my left, and cast another spell. I had heard his move and quickly blocked his spell sending another. We continued the dance, back and forth, casting and blocking spells. He moved frequently and once had to flatten himself on the ground to avoid a painful hex I had sent his way.  
  
"Move your feet!" he shouted.  
  
He didn't miss a beat though and kept hurling hexes my way. It was harder to keep up with things once I had started to move and I was hit with a tickling charm but I was not disarmed and I stood and continued the duel quite quickly even through my laughter. Another time I dropped to the ground and rolled as a flesh burning curse which was difficult to block came my way. I came out of the roll just as he was casting another spell and I was just in time to block it. He followed that one with another though and I doubled over in pain, my stomach cramping. He's good at this I thought. I can't let him win though! Luckily he did pity me for a moment and it was long enough for me to send a disarming curse at him and I heard a thud as he landed, his wand flying to my outstretched free hand.  
  
From the floor, sounding out of breath he said, "Never stick your hand out like that to catch the wand. In doing so you make it a target for a variety of spells such as the severing charm."  
  
As he said the word sever I pulled my arm in close to me and thought of the pain that might cause.  
  
"I see that you are fit to duel Miss Lee"  
  
"I would have never disarmed you if you hadn't stopped to pity me." I pointed out.  
  
"Well perhaps you have found a weakness in me that others seldom see"  
  
"I should hope they don't it could get you into trouble."  
  
"I am well aware of that"  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"I, I need to go"  
  
He sounded like he was in pain. I could hear his breathing growing rapid. He was retreating with quick but distractedly positioned footsteps. What was going on?  
  
"I'm sorry!" I called after him.  
  
What the hell had I done? Had I injured two professors in one day? It was just a disarming charm and he had seemed fine just a moment before. Was he upset that he had not won the duel? Perhaps I should go to the headmaster and inform him of the goings on at our detention session. How would I get to his office from here? How would I get anywhere from here. I sighed.  
  
After gathering my thoughts I began to retrace my steps to the potions classroom. If I could accomplish that I would be able to find my way to the tower and someone could show me the way to Dumbledore's office.  
  
****  
  
Severus staggered through the halls of the castle almost at a run. He clutched his forearm and clenched his jaw. The pain was unbearable. Why did Voldemort have to call now. The calls had become more frequent lately and it would effect his work. Some of the students might suspect something. Did it matter if they suspected something? He wasn't sure. He was in to much pain to decide, or even to care one way or another.  
  
Cursing under his breath and trying to keep from stumbling he made his way to the edge of the Hogwarts grounds and apperated to Voldemort's side.  
  
"My Lord," he said. "I am here." He bowed so low his forehead could have touched the hem of Voldemort's robes. When there was no reply he rose and backed into his place in the circle of death eaters.  
  
"You come again my loyal servants" Voldemort said his red eyes piercing each death eater in turn.  
  
"Yes, my Lord" they breathed as one. The circle bowed in unison as if it were the fingers of one hand curling inward.  
  
Severus could feel something gnawing at the pit of his stomach. There was something strange about this particular visit.  
  
****  
  
Harry was sitting in a large, soft, over-stuffed chair in the common room when his scar began to burn. Instinctively he reached up to press his right palm to his forehead as if the contact from his skin would soothe the pain. Of course, nothing was to calm that particular ache. Harry closed his eyes in agony.  
  
He could see it all. He didn't want to.  
  
Voldemort stood, back straight, surrounded by his death eaters who peered at him attentively. He was saying something but the words were jumbled in Harry's mind and he couldn't make them out. He motioned to one death eater who stepped forward. A long lecture was given to the man who did not respond. The man fell to the ground writhing in pain. Voldemort held his wand steady, pointed at the man's chest, and it looked like the dark lord was laughing. Each of the robed men were called forward in turn. Harry noticed a few women in the group which had grown and now contained many faces he did not know. Each person was tortured and Harry's body shook with pain though he was unaware of its convulsions. The length of torture for each death eater varied. Some had to endure only a few seconds of Voldemort's curse while others twitched and screamed on the ground until they could move nor speak no more. Many bled from their nostrils or their ears while Voldemort continued the curse. Most could not walk after they had been cursed and they lay still moaning or all to silent on the stone floor. Soon there was no circle of death eaters but live, suffering bodies randomly scattered about. The Dark Lord began walking to each death eater to put him under the curse because the floor space available at his feet for torturing had been greatly diminished. Blood oozed from many of the prone figures and it was like their tears as they had no strength or will to shed real ones. Harry watched as two men disapperated just as Voldemort was approaching them. Harry gasped, taking the moment while Voldemort thought and grew angry to rest his aching body. Why did he have to feel their pain?  
  
When the evil man known as Lord Voldemort was finished he crept around inspecting each person, pulling back hoods to recheck their identities. Harry was sure he wanted to account for everyone who was there and anyone who was not, and who had once called himself a death eater, would be severely punished. Harry was somewhat glad to see Professor Snape's face, despite the blood, because it meant the man had not given up his duty to spy for the side of the light.  
  
The image faded and someone was shaking Harry.  
  
"Harry, Harry!" It was Ron's voice. "Harry are you okay?"  
  
What a stupid question Harry thought. Stop shaking me. Damn it, stop, it hurts! He was not yet ready to speak but his eyes flicked open.  
  
"We need to get him to the hospital wing" Hermione was shouting desperately.  
  
"Please not there. Not Madam Pomfrey, not people traipsing in and out all day he thought. I need quiet. I need rest. Stop touching me. Stop shaking me.  
  
"I think we should take him to Dumbledore" It was Lucinda. The girl was very smart.  
  
"We shouldn't move him" Ron said.  
  
Good idea Harry said leave me here. It hurts so bad!  
  
"There's no where for him to lay in Dumbledore's office though" Hermione complained.  
  
"Then levitate him upstairs to the boy's dorms and Dumbledore can come here." Lucinda was saying.  
  
"But Madam Pomfrey will want to see him" Hermione said.  
  
"She always does" Ron said.  
  
"He needs quiet right now" Lucinda said in a half whisper. She sounded far to much like Snape and the next thing heard was Hermione saying the levitating spell, then he was gently lifted and deposited on his bed.  
****  
  
I stood quite still beside Harry's bed. Ron and Hermione had gone to fetch Professor Dumbledore. I wondered if Harry would be okay. It seemed to be a pretty bad vision. I had had many but they were usually calm glimpses of the future. This was a gift that Harry had but it was also a curse.  
  
I reached for his hand, and locating it, squeezed it gently. He squeezed back weakly. He was in pain. I sighed. Not much could be done until someone brought him potions for pain.  
  
"Can you hear me Harry?" I whispered.  
  
He squeezed my hand weakly once more.  
  
"They've gone to get Professor Dumbledore."  
Author's Note: Yeah, I could have written more but how much longer did you want to wait for this chapter??? Sorry I'm so slow about updating and sorry the poem for this chapter kind of sucked. They are pretty hard to come up with but I think it is fun to have one at the beginning of each chapter. 


	7. A Secret Revealed

Author's Note: A.Dee we'll just have to see how Snape will be in this fic. Grin. Or maybe I should take a vote of the faithful reviewers. Sage and Snape I'm glad this fic is making you think! Snape having pity on Lucinda was just him showing weakness for a moment and nothing more. I don't have an update list yet but I'll try to remember to update you. Lady Russell Holmes, yeah I feel sorry for Harry too. I think he might get a little banged up in this fic. Grin. Vanyaria Darkshadow I agree that Snape is a cutie. Oh well if others don't agree. Sev1970 she may or may not get a crush. We'll see what happens. This won't be a romance fic though.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that lives in the world of Harry Potter! I do own Lucinda Lina Lee, Regina Wiggins, and Sapa the owl. There I gave another disclaimer just in case. Gotta cover my back ya know.  
Chapter Seven: A Secret Revealed  
Words flow like water Over pebbles, Singing in whispers Like laughter. Secrets slip from silence Where they were once stored And come to rest here, In the depths of sensitive ears. Thoughts swirl about, Butterflies in the breeze. Then landing In clusters, on branches, They rest quietly. Realization comes forth, A flame against the night sky.  
  
I was standing beside Harry's bed when the door opened. Footsteps entered.  
  
"Has he woken up yet?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Briefly" I replied.  
  
"Harry?" Dumbledore said.  
  
There was a movement from the bed and the faintest of moans. Just then the door burst open again.  
  
"Snape wasn't in the dungeons so I couldn't get any of the potions we need." Ron was breathing heavily.  
  
"Go to Madam Pomfrey" Dumbledore said. "Or perhaps we ought to simply bring Harry there."  
  
"No" was spoken in a rough whisper from the bed.  
  
"Very well then" Dumbledore sighed. "Accio Pain Reliever potion.accio Pepper Up potion." The wizard continued to summon vials until he had what he thought he'd need.  
  
I transfigured a slip of paper from my pocket into a goblet and passed it to Dumbledore who seemed grateful. I realized to late that I had not used my wand to perform the spell and hadn't even spoken a word.  
  
"That was incredible!" Ron shrieked. "Did you see that Hermione?"  
  
"See what?"  
  
"Lucinda, she.she just-"  
  
"Yes, Miss Lee is quite talented. I suggest that you grow accustomed to the way she does things." Dumbledore said.  
  
"But I've never-" Ron started but was cut off by Hermione.  
  
"Ron, this is not the time" she lectured in her strictest sounding whisper.  
  
Dumbledore began feeding Harry the potions telling him what each was for. We all just stood by watching and waiting for a sign that Harry was recovering.  
  
Finally Harry sat up halfway in the bed and said, "I think Snape will be needing those potions back when he returns from the death eater meeting."  
  
What?! Had I heard him right? Had Harry just said that Snape was at a death eater meeting? "Harry I think you need some rest, you aren't making any sense" I managed to say despite my shock.  
  
"I'm fine. It was just a vision" he insisted.  
  
"But you just said that Snape-"  
  
"Miss Lee, it is perhaps time that we inform you of some of the happenings within these castle walls." Dumbledore conjured a chair and sat down. "Professor Snape is one of the most dedicated members of the order of the phoenix."  
  
"But Harry just said that, well basically that he was a death eater! He must have seen him in his vision!" I could not believe the foolishness of the old wizard. Was he allowing a criminal of the worst kind to live and teach at Hogwarts?  
  
"Yes, Severus is in fact also a death eater." I shook with confusion and waited for Dumbledore to say more. "You see, one of my more brilliant, and so far successful, ideas was to have a spy among the death eaters. I needed the right person for the job."  
  
"Professor Snape?" I asked.  
  
"Ah yes. Severus is very resourceful, sly, and powerful. He possesses many traits that are required for an effective spy." Dumbledore leaned forward in his chair and his words came closer to my face now. "It is a very dangerous job and if he were found out the entire wizarding world could be in danger."  
  
I got his point. He didn't need to explain any more to me. "I understand" I said and I think he knew I really did.  
  
****  
  
Severus Snape had been unsure of his ability to apperate but he had been in no state to travel via other means. He couldn't take the night bus in his death eater robes and he had no muggle money. He stood outside of Voldemort's castle and disapperated. Luckily he was successful and landed just outside the Hogwart's grounds with a thud. He was unable to stand because he was so weak and fell to the ground without hesitation.  
  
He lay there for some time, the whispers of night closing in around him. The forbidden forest loomed up before him, a shadow of death creeping ever closer. He had to move. How?  
  
First he tried to pull himself to his hands and knees. His right knee was damaged, the skin broken open and blood oozing from the wound like an egg slipping from its shell. Blood that inside the body was blue and safe now spilled fourth, red, unprotected, and contaminated. He could not stop the bleeding. It would require more magic then he held within himself at the present time. So in crawling, he was unsuccessful.  
  
He lay very still as the chill of the cold earth seeped inside him.  
  
How had he ended up here on the ground in the dark of night?  
  
Would anyone come for him?  
  
What could he do to save himself? To save the world? They so desperately needed him, the spy, the union of darkness and light. He sat up, his head spun as if it were a top and completely unattached to the rest of him. Once he realized that he was still effectively sitting he was ready to fight the rest of the battle. Somehow he pulled himself to his feet. One labored foot step at a time he slithered to the castle, broken, bleeding, and full of hope.  
  
****  
  
I woke to the voices of my room mates chattering like a barn yard full of hens. It was later than I had intended to rise this morning. I had over slept.  
  
I slid out of bed, my body yawning and stretching in full protest along the way. Quickly I pulled on some clothes and got washed up. There was no time for a shower. I wasn't in the mood to take a shower. Hermione was already gone so I made my way to the great hall alone.  
  
I was not very awake and it wasn't long before I rounded a corner and bumped into something solid. I staggered, trying to keep my balance.  
  
"Miss Lee" a cold voice said.  
  
Shit! It was Ms. Wiggins! I was in deep now. I tried to open my mouth to apologize but I wasn't fast enough.  
  
"Ten points from Gryffindor for your rudeness. Running into other people is hardly polite."  
  
She said nothing else and just pushed passed me. I wondered if I could take points from her for being rude. After all running people over in the halls because you're a nasty professor is hardly considered polite either.  
  
When I stepped into the Great Hall it was with the understanding that my morning had been ruined. I made my way to my usual seat and sat down without a word. My peace was soon interrupted by my friends wanting to know what was wrong with me. I didn't feel like talking. Not even to them, but I was glad to see that Harry was doing better and had come to breakfast. I explained about my brush with Wiggins the Whooping Wombat and everyone within ear shot called her rude names which made me feel a bit better.  
  
Ginny Weezley had heard that Snape was in the hospital wing from another girl who had seen him there. Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let the girl have a look though so no one knew what was wrong with Snape. Harry knew, almost as intimately as Snape himself did, and Hermione, Ron, Dumbledore and I had some idea of what might be wrong with Snape. I was just glad to know that he had returned alive and probably in one piece.  
  
Author's Note: Happy Mother's Day to all. Please Review. 


	8. The Meeting

Author's Note: Sage and Snape that would be cool Lucinda and Sage having a wandless magic duel. I'd better have Lucinda brush up on her skills! I like writing Ron cause he seems silly and fun to me.Lyssanne, glad you liked Sev's thoughts. I had fun writing those and about the blood oozing out of him. Vanaria Darkshadow, thanks. Sev1970 I'm glad you could picture Dumbledore summoning everything. I just thought that was something Dumbledore would do.  
  
Sorry it has been so long since I have updated. Life happens. Writer's block creeps in, and someone or something has to inspire one to write. I will continue this book even though the fifth book is already out. I may modify things slightly but for this year Harry and Lucinda will both be in the order. Anyone let me know if you think I am wasting my time.  
  
Commercial!!!!! Please read my story All Things in Time. I'm writing it with a friend, Lyssanne, and we aren't getting any reviews! Tell us if you like it or hate it! Please.please.please!  
  
Okay done begging. Author gets off her knees and returns to writing the story.  
  
Chapter Eight: The Meeting  
  
Gather here in secret  
Let our minds be as one  
Strength we are in numbers  
Till the work of light is done  
  
From each we gain a priceless gift  
To thwart a deadly foe  
And free the power of the heart  
A strength he cannot know  
  
The order of the phoenix was to meet in Dumbledore's office at midnight. From there they would take a port key to the order head quarters which was well hidden. Apparently not all of the professors were members in the order, and knowing this, I began to realize just why Professor Snape had warned me to be careful who I mentioned the order to.  
  
I made my way through the silent coridors, slipping around corners and successfully reached Dumbledore's office. A man stood outside the office door. He introduced himself as Remus Lupine and began to cast a variety of spells to determine if I was really who I appeared to be.  
  
When he had finished he said, "You may enter, and welcome to the order."  
  
He seemed so formal.  
  
I stepped onto the moving spiral stairway. It lifted me upward and as I went I imagined I was being lifted and set into a new life, a new existence.  
  
I wondered where Harry was. I had not seen him in the common room nor had I passed him in the halls. Somehow I still felt reassured knowing that Harry would be at the meeting as well. I wasn't the only student to be invited to join. I wasn't a freak. They wanted me as a member because my talents could help them, not so that they could mock me.  
  
The room was full of whitches and wizzards speaking in hushed voices. When I entered there was no pause in the conversation but many of them moved aside, like the parting of hairs in the wind, so that I could make my way to the center of the room. Just exactly why I sought the center of the room I did not know. Finally I came to a stop and just stood listening to the unfamilliar voices. Every now and then I'd recognize the voice of one of my professors among the strangers.  
  
"I've not had luck with that potion. Maybe Severus can-"  
  
"Well you know who thinks they'll help him."  
  
"We'll have to be careful using the Floo network."  
  
"The minister is still in denial. If he doesn't come around we're in serious trouble. I can't think of what else we can do to convince him though. Dumbledore has-"  
  
"More death eaters recruited in the passed week"  
  
"Well, Lupine hasn't said a thing about-"  
  
"How are we supposed to-?"  
  
"And Black can't risk being seen."  
  
"Does anyone have a plan? Has Dumbledore even considered it?"  
  
"Well I hear Harry Potter is joining us and a girl-"  
  
"Put a magical seal on his letter. When I received it, it had been broken."  
  
Finally Dumbledore called everyone to order and began to make the portkey.  
  
"Welcome all of you once more to my office and to this great cause" he said, then paused. "We will travel now and we shall meet up with the rest of our members when we reach our destination."  
  
Everyone was quiet while Dumbledore activated the portkey. Then someone grabbed my arm and placed it on the wizzard's robe that was being used for a portkey.  
  
My world spun and twisted and I was bumped against others as I dipped and fell. Something in the pit of my stomach felt pulled on or inside out. Then I landed suddenly, falling to my knees. I felt drained and sleepy. Someone was grabbing my arm again and leading me quickly away from our landing place.  
  
"It's a spell." A silky voice was telling me. It was Snape. "You must learn to fight the spell on your own Miss Lee. You won't always have someone to help you and the spell is made to exhaust any intruders so they may not reach our meeting place."  
  
After walking for some time we finally stopped and Snape placed my hand on a rough wooden door frame. I realized that I had not encountered a structure since I had come to Hogwarts. I moved my hand several inches to the right to feel large rough cut logs which had not been treated with paint or varnish.  
  
"Enter" Snape said as he took a step closer to me from behind.  
  
Stepping into the room I realized that I had been holding up a majority of our group during my inspection of the building. The other order members now filed in behind me and they spoke only in hushed whispers. Their words were lost in this room. The log walls were not the best at echoing sound and the ceiling had to be quite high as it swallowed up most of the sound. The floor beneath my feet was also made of wood, I noticed as I stepped forward. Sliding my right toe along its surface, searching for steps or sloping floorboards, I noticed that the floor was also rough and crafted from unfinished wood. This place was hardly a wizzarding dwelling. The only familiar atribute was a fire place off to my right. Well, it was either a fireplace or a dragon. I could feel its warmth from across the room.  
  
"I must call the meeting of the order to attention." Dumbledore said quietly.  
  
Voices silenced like the quieting of owls' wings. Bodies ceased their stirring and came to rest at attention. The fire made the only sound, crackling through the quiet room.  
  
"All have been checked and accounted for." Said the man I now recognized to be Remus Lupine.  
  
"Before we speak our loyalty once more," Dumbledore said. "There are two new members who must be recognized and accepted into our ranks. Miss Lee, Mister Potter, if you will please step forward."  
  
A path was cleared for me between the people who had been standing between Dumbledore and myself. I walked reluctently toward the headmaster and order leader. These few steps could determine the course of my life. They were the biggest committement I had ever made to anything or anyone. They were steps I could not retrace, reverse, or erase. Each step was slow but deliberate.  
  
When I reached the front of the room Dumbledore placed a hand on my shoulder and turned me so that I now faced the gathered order members. He introduced both Harry and myself. There were murmurs of welcome from the crowd and then silence.  
  
"If you wish to serve the order with loyalty and perminance you must repeat after us." Dumbledore said.  
  
The assembled order members began to speak.  
  
"I sware to serve the order for the good of the light. I shall not stray or break away. From me darkness shall take its flight. My promises I keep, a soul that's here to stay."  
  
Harry and I both repeated the rhythmical oath. I knew the words would stick in my mind like an arrow in a rigid body. Not an arrow of death though, an arrow of life and one of direction.  
  
"Our new members have now joined us. Let their gifts strengthen us and lead forward our cause. We have many things that the Dark Lord cannot dream of posessing. The force of the light is ours and magic with and without wands. Our togetherness as we strive for peace cannot be broken by any spell or darkness. Let us rejoice in our gifts today but we must not stray from the task at hand."  
  
There were murmurs of agreement and encouragement from the order members.  
  
"We will now announce our loyalty once more." Dumbledore said.  
  
"I am bound to serve the order for all my days. No fear, nor man, nor darkness could lead my thoughts away. I keep the order's secrets hid inside my mind. No spell or curse could free these, they're safely hid inside."  
  
The voices spoke in unison as if they were one voice with one thought.  
  
The meeting then began and was filled with boring reports on order business. Discussion of how many new death eaters and what their specialties were, took place. Snape reported on Voldemort's thoughts. Dumbledore assigned duties. Snape was named to train Harry and I along with a few lessons by Lupine or Dumbledore himself. Then, just as it had started in silence, the meeting was ended.  
  
Everyone filed outside into the cool night air. Snape led me through the spell of exhaustion once more. At the place where the portkey waited we stopped and were transported back to Hogwarts. We left the office one at a time, so as not to raise suspisions should we be seen.  
  
***  
  
Of course Hermione and Ron wanted every detail in the days that followed the first order meeting. Harry and I had decided to give them only general information. We couldn't be caught letting something important slip, but most of all we couldn't put our friends in danger. Besides, what could they do for the order anyway?  
  
Author's Note: sorry for the short chapter but please review! 


	9. Master of Many Things

Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I'm sorry it has been so long. I'm applying for jobs and working on two other fics HP and the summer of ghosts which is almost done and all things in time which I'm writing with a friend under the pen name Lyssanne/White Owl. Anyway thanks to all who reviewed. The chapters will probably be short from now on or they may never get posted.  
  
Chapter Eight: Master of Many Things  
  
Teach and ye shall learn. Learn and ye shall know. Know and ye shall remember. Remember and ye shall spread truth. Truth is both an end and a beginning. It is where you have come from. It is who you are. It is where you are going. Truth is both within you and around you.  
  
The moonlight cast shadows in the night. Things danced and reached out in the darkness. They were both fingers and toes, welcoming and cruel. The accompanying sounds eased not one's mind nor quieted one's soul.  
  
The owl dipped low hunting a mouse. It was small pray but the girl fed her well. Besides, she liked the taste of fresh mouse meat and it was an opportunity to hunt. As she glided, easily catching an updraft, she thought of the girl now. Perhaps she would pay her a visit. Just in front of her a white owl dove, her wings sparkling in the night's glow like the shimmer of dragon hide. The mouse was gone. The black owl flew to her girl's window.  
  
***  
  
I was seated on my bed pulling a brush through my long flaxen hair when there was a tap at the window. My dorm mates were sleeping but even above their restful inspirations I couldn't mistake the pleading knock of an owl begging entrance. I rose from my bed, abandoning the soft brush I had been using atop my pillow, and crossed the cold floor in my bare feet. After I drew up the window I realized that it was my own owl who had been so patiently knocking. She flew in hooting softly and landed on my shoulder.  
  
"Ssssssshhhhhh," I whispered. "You'll wake everyone."  
  
She gave one long, louder hoot then settled.  
  
I crossed the room once more, Sapa resting contentedly on my shoulder. I sat on the bed and she shifted with a graceful hop onto my lap.  
  
"I suppose you are here to remind me to write to my parents?"  
  
"Hooooooooooottttttttt!"  
  
"Shush!" I replied in a harsh whisper.  
  
I set Sapa on my bed and gathered up a quill and parchment. Then I extended my right arm just before I stepped through the door. She flew speedily toward me and landed precisely on my forearm. Once we were through the door I lowered my arm then raised it abruptly sending the dark owl into a rising spiral of the common room. I walked down the steps, found a seat, and waited for Sapa to land. She did not land beside me though. It was more exciting to explore the many tables for discarded crumbs.  
  
I wrote.  
  
Dear Mom and Dad,  
  
No detentions lately. Sapa seems bored here. I've been busy with lots of things and trying to keep order around here. Hope all is well with both of you. Would be great if you moved somewhere closer to here.  
  
Love, Lucinda  
  
I hoped the reference to keeping order would lead them to believe that I meant I had attended an order meeting. I didn't have much else to say but I had to respond to their letter. It was almost humorous that there was little to say since I was in a new school and had just committed my life to fighting evil no matter what it cost. One might think I had truly gone mad saying there was little to report on.  
  
I was in no mood to think on life though. I rose and approached Sapa who was fluffing her feathers before the fire. I tied the letter to her leg and opened a window for her.  
  
"Leave as you wish. Just make sure you are out of here before the first students wake up."  
  
I turned and climbed the stairs to my dreams.  
  
***  
  
Lord Voldemort paced his study. It was a very mugglish room. No one would ever suspect that he lived here. When he came to think of it, not even his most devoted death eaters knew of this particular place. He hadn't made it a point to tell them. He didn't want them disturbing his important thought processes. And, it was better if they never discovered that he owned a rather large home in a muggle neighborhood, one that had not been willed to him. He had bought it after coming across it in a muggle advert and he had never regretted it. He regretted few things.  
  
He now paced across the well worn carpet. He came to this particular house when he wanted to think. It contained nothing from the wizarding world accept for himself, his robe, and his wand. On the desk sat a cup of coffee. You couldn't find a goblet of pumpkin juice here, and there were no house elves to fetch it. He didn't like pumpkin juice anyway. He always craved something a bit stronger. He lifted the mug and drank deeply.  
  
The room was too peaceful. The world was the same. Too much light. Too much peace. He had to change things. It was all up to him. That old fool Dumbledore would ignite the smallest bit of dark in the world, lighting it ablaze, if he had his wish. Lord Voldemort could not let that happen.  
  
His anger coursed through him like an infection in a group of sickly dairy calves. The mug in his hand shattered and the pieces scattered across the floor. He waved his wand and repaired the ruined china but it's contents he left on the light colored rug. A stain of darkness against the light, time worn threads of life.  
  
He disapparated. He needed to go where he could use his wand toward destruction and devastation. Damn the peace of the muggle world. To hell with those soundly sleeping fools! They would feel his wrath! Soon enough they would feel the touch of Lord Voldemort.  
  
****  
  
When I finally woke it was because of the sun's heat on my face. I rolled over and tried to avoid it but it was impossible. It was late and the heat could be felt even through the blankets. I crashed out of bed, a bear in an Easter parade, and thudded to the bathroom.  
  
When I emerged Harry was there to greet me. Since when did Harry get up before me?  
  
"We're going to see Hagrid." He said. "Do'ya wanna come?"  
  
"Sure" I mumbled in response and stomped off to get dressed.  
  
On the way to Hagrid's cabin Ron and Hermione chatted busily about recent death eater activity. I realized it was an attempt on getting information on the order and wondered if Harry did. I wasn't about to crack though. The information was secret and should remain that way. They had grown to be my close friends, even in such a short time, and I didn't want them getting caught up in the whole mess. The war was everyone's concern but not everyone had to jump right in and start fighting.  
  
"How are ye four doin'?" Hagrid asked when we had arrived at his cabin. He was seated outside shelling crabs for some sort of animal food. "Wanna gimme a hand with these here Sideways Crabs?"  
  
"We can't stay long." Harry said.  
  
Good for Harry I thought. Way to save the day. Who wanted to spend an entire day shelling crabs.  
  
"Oh," Hagrid replied, sounding disappointed.  
  
"I'll help." Hermione said brightly, probably after sensing Hagrids upset tone. "Ron can help too. Harry and Lucinda have an important meeting to go to."  
  
"A meeting? Yer getting' pretty important there 'arry."  
  
"yeah it's a meeting with Professor Snape actually."  
  
"Professor.What does he want with yeh?" Hagrid sounded alarmed.  
  
"It's about, well, you know."  
  
"Oh tha'," Hagrid went back to his work. "Well, if yeh wanna know somethin' he's one of the mos' respected duelers at Hogwarts."  
  
"Really?" Hermione asked. "I heard Professor Flitwick was a dueling champion in his time."  
  
"Tha' he was but ye've gotta understand, tha' was before Professor Snape came along. And when he did no one could beat 'im and there were lots who tried."  
  
"Maybe that's why he followed you know who." Ron speculated.  
  
"I think ther're other reasons for tha', Ron."  
  
"Like what reasons?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Not my place to tell yeh, Hermione."  
  
"But-" Ron said.  
  
"I'm not sayin' anymore 'bout it."  
  
"We'd better get going anyway Harry." I said.  
  
"Yeh don wanna be late meetin' the professor." Hagrid said. "Nice seein' yeh, Lucinda, 'arry."  
  
***  
  
As we stepped into Professor Snape's office I began to realize the importance of our meeting with him. The room had a cramped feel to it, probably because so many bottles on shelves were crammed in such a small space. Harry had told me about the confines of Snape's office and I was rather glad I couldn't view the room's contents with my own eyes. It was warm at least. The fireplace pushed away the dampness of the dungeons. Aside from Snape's private chambers it was probably the only warm place within the Hogwart's dungeons.  
  
"It is nice to see that you both remembered to arrive on time." Snape said in a bitter tone.  
  
Neither of us responded.  
  
"We will be using the charms classroom."  
  
He swept passed us and out his office door. We hurried along behind him. I moved as quickly as I could.  
  
"Will we be dueling?" Harry asked.  
  
"That depends on your knowledge of the subject Mister Potter." Snape replied.  
  
"Knowledge?" Harry asked for clarification.  
  
"Don't you think you've asked enough questions already?" Snape had turned to face us. I nearly ran right into him.  
  
When we entered the charms classroom Snape began levitating tables out of the way. Harry, probably trying to be polite, began helping him. I waited patiently not wanting to send one table crashing into another. Snape would hardly appreciate such a mistake and I had already blown up a potion in his class. I had to watch my step with him from now on.  
  
"Sit," he commanded.  
  
We did.  
  
"You will not only duel in your lessons with me, you will also learn to think." Snape began. "I know you have limited experience dueling, and Mister Potter has quite a bit of luck, but you will duel for your lives in the Order and I must prepare you. It is my duty, not to help you and baby you, but to prepare you. It is that which I will do." He began to pace the room. "I will expect you both to get in good physical condition as well. Sometimes running and ducking is the best way to escape death." He ceased his dance across the floor. "Flying is not enough Mr. Potter. You will both run by the lake each morning. Potter, you will assist Miss Lee as she runs. You will do sit ups, pull ups, and push ups. You will do these on your own and I will occasionally observe. Have I made myself clear?"  
  
"Yes, sir" I replied.  
  
"Yeah," Harry responded unenthusiastically.  
  
"Very well, stand and duel. Myself against the two of you and do be quick on your feet."  
  
Before I had time enough to draw my wand curses were being thrown. I threw myself on the ground and rolled away to my right, slipping my wand from my robes as I did so. This was not going to be a friendly duel.  
  
I sprang from the hard floor and sent a disarming spell in Snape's direction. He deflected it easily and I was forced to step aside as another was sent my direction. It was difficult dueling with more than one person. I had trouble determining which curses were meant for me. It would take practice. I had lost my concentration and collapsed to the floor in a fit of laughter which resulted from the tickling charm. I sent the leg locker curse at Snape but he had moved in response to a curse from Harry.  
  
Next the unexpected happened. Snape created a Snake from the end of his wand and shouted, "Protect your friend Potter. Attempt to turn the beast back on its caster. You must learn to use all of your gifts."  
  
Professor Snape had backed up near the wall and Harry was hissing to the snake in a sort of rhythmic sing song voice. I waited, standing as still as possible. At one point the serpent slid so close to my feet I could nearly feel him. Not knowing if it was a biting or more friendly constricting sort of snake I froze. Time passed slowly.  
  
Finally Snape said, "I see that you are a true parselmouth Mr. Potter." With another spell there was a pop and I assumed the snake had disappeared.  
  
The potions master didn't waste time though. He had started in with curses again. He disarmed Harry who flew across the room and landed with a thud and a groan. When I turned slightly to listen and see if Harry was injured I was also disarmed. I landed more gracefully than Harry had though. There was hardly time for me to draw in a respectable breath before Snape started in on us both.  
  
"If you pause long enough to worry about a friend in a real war you will lose your own life as well as that of your friend." He was not pleased. "You are excused. Think about how you should treat friends while fighting a battle. Consider efficiency and safety. Write me one foot on the subject and bring it to our next lesson. You must master dueling. This means mastering its curses, strategies, and knowing all there is to know about the subject. You have not applied yourselves as of yet."  
  
He left the room.  
  
"Are we gonna survive the year?" Harry asked.  
  
"Of course we will." I replied brightly. "This is a challenge just like any other. We can overcome it. We can work on our essays together. I wonder if we can practice dueling?"  
  
"I think we'd need permission for that." He sighed. "I think aside from being the Hogwarts potions master Snape is master of torture."  
  
"He may be a master of many things we don't know." I said. "Potions.he's a master spy, he seems to be a master of thoughts and strategies.who knows what else. Dueling is among his top gifts I'm sure."  
  
"I am hardly impressed by the greasy git."  
  
"Your feelings will change in time Harry. I can see why no one likes him but they don't see deeply enough into the depths of the man. They are blind."  
  
"Them? Blind? I don't understand."  
  
"Perhaps in time."  
  
A/N: Thanks for reading. Please review! Remember even though this is a fifth year fic it doesn't follow Order of the Phoenix. Hot coaco is my brain food! Dutch chocolate is best. 


	10. The Essay

Author's note: Sorry this fic hadn't been updated. FF Net was giving me spyware or something so I stopped using the site. The updated chapters one through nine can be found on fictionalley dot org but I'm not updating the first nine on here because it's too much trouble. Here is ten, enjoy and please review. I have all chapters written through fifteen and I'm working on chapter sixteen right now.

Owl Eyes

Chapter Ten

The Essay

How different are we,

With hearts that seek

Love that will reach eternity?

Here war has come.

It means death for many,

But power for some.

Evil speeds a chasm wide

'Tween houses, hearts and hands,

In unity we must abide.

When evil calls

We answer quickly,

And when the Dark Lord falls

Then we shall rejoice

As we did once before,

And sing out with one voice!

Until that day must the tides be parted?

For even love is tainted by war,

And in dissention's wake, lie the brokenhearted.

So now we walk to battle again,

We fight as one

For we are kin.

Evil foes from here depart.

Darkness we cannot accept

For it sours love, and chills the heart

By the time we had returned to the common room Hermione and Ron were back from their afternoon shelling crabs. The room was bustling with students rushing in and out from their rooms or coming in from the library with stacks of books. I slammed into something solid as I made my way, behind Harry, to where Ron and Hermione sat. Several small thuds were heard and they could only be the falling of a stack of books.

"Sorry," Neville said breathlessly.

"That's okay"

"I was just on my way out. Didn't see you there."

"It's quite alright," I said. "What books were you carrying?"

"Extra reading for transfiguration. I'm trying not to fall behind. Don't worry I can pick them up," Neville replied.

"Sorry. I guess I'll see you later. I've got an essay to write."

Bye."

I made my way through the maze of tables to the one that the four of us always used. The room was a hum of voices but as I made my way closer to my destination I could make out the words of my friends.

"-An extra assignment," Harry said with a huff.

"Bugger that!" Ron said.

"Harry," Hermione said, "you can't expect being in the…well you know, to be easy."

"But-"

"Hi, Lucinda," Hermione said, stopping Harry from protesting.

"Hello," I replied cheerily.

I had no reason to be too upset about the essay Snape had assigned about dueling when friends were present. I was sure he had his reasons and intended to do the best I could in writing a proper response to his question.

"I suppose we should get started on that essay now," Harry said in a mournful tone.

"That was what I had planned."

"I could help you!" Hermione blurted. "I mean I would be willing to help unless it's something you can't talk about or you don't need my help."

"It's nothing secret," Harry said.

"What's it gotta be about?" Ron asked.

"We have to write about how we would duel. A strategy for working with others who are on our side. What we should do if one of them should collapse or be killed. Fighting with efficiency and safety," I explained.

"Sounds interesting," Hermione mused aloud.

"That's bloody boring if you ask me," Ron put in. "Chocolate frog anyone?"

Harry and I both accepted one of the sweet confections. I had already begun to map out my essay in my head. I needed to lay things out logically, not just sporadically write about fighting wars.

"Maybe you should outline what you intend to write," Hermione suggested. "I've been making outlines for the book readings for each class to add to my lecture notes. I think it'll be really useful when studying for OWLs."

"Where do you find the time to do that?" Ron asked with his mouth full.

"Well, if you focused on your school work then maybe-"

"Perhaps we should go to the library, Harry," I suggested, cutting Hermione off. I didn't want to listen to her and Ron arguing anymore.

"Good idea," Harry replied. He rose from his chair and shouldered his bag.

I did the same.

"You guys coming?" Harry asked.

"May as well: Ron said in a bored tone.

"Of course," Hermione said. "If you have extra homework the least we can do is help. Besides, I've already finished my other homework and read ahead for this week's classes."

Neither Ron nor Harry replied.

I couldn't believe the time and effort Hermione put in to her educational career. It was totally absurd. What was the point of getting the highest marks in class? Who cared if she was smarter and more knowledgeable than everyone else? We were fighting in a war. We were little more than soldiers. It was the practical magic that would count. Strategies, dueling skills, and healing charms were what we'd need after leaving Hogwarts, and in the cases of Harry and I, perhaps before leaving. If we could answer questions in class, or accurately outline a book chapter, it would do little to save us from the threat of Voldemort. Did she not completely understand the severity of that threat? I did not know.

The group of us walked in silence the entire route to the library. I assumed that each of us was pondering our reasons for going. When we arrived Hermione was like a buzzard to its prey. She went right to the dueling and defense section and ran her fingers along the many spines of old tomes shelved there. Every now and then she'd hand one of us a volume to carry to the table where we had set up camp.

"What, exactly, are we looking for?" Harry asked, looking up at Hermione.

"Whatever you think is relevant," she replied.

Her fingers went back to sliding along the book spines. They made little thunking and hissing noises as she moved along the shelf.

Once we had the books we needed Hermione read to me in a whisper. It was never good to have cranky old Madam Pince ready to throw us out of the library. We needed free access to the books to get our assignments done. It should've been against school policy for her to ban anyone from the library's educational benefits, but I had been told that she had done it in the past even if just temporarily.

I heard a snort from behind me and turned.

"How sweet. A muggle reading to the poor little blind American girl."

It was Draco Malfoy. I was sure I hated him even if some of it stemmed from what I'd heard from my new friends.

"Go pick on someone with your own-" Ron was cut off.

Before my hot tempered friend had a chance to finish his speech I had pulled out my wand and hexed Malfoy. I was sure the hex would convince him to leave us alone and keep him from telling on me.

"What the hell just-" Malfoy spluttered, "happened? I…I…let's get out of here!"

I decided he must've been talking to his two side kicks and my suspicions were confirmed when three sets of foot steps left the room, one of them at a run.

"What did you do?" Harry asked.

"Urine letting down spell. It's quite useful."

"You didn't!" Hermione was in awe.

"I did."

"You mean," Harry asked, "Malfoy just wet his pants?"

"Yup!"

"That's bloody brilliant!" Ron cried out a little to loudly.

"Quiet now, this is a library," Madam Pince scolded.

"Sorry man," Ron said loud enough for her to hear. Then under his breath he begged, "You have to teach me that one."

"Where'd you learn a spell like that?" Harry asked.

"From my parents. It's quite useful for training a puppy to go outside."

"Wow," Ron was still to excited to quit gibbering.

"Well it did seem to have the desired effect," Hermione analyzed.

"Yeah," Harry said, "and I doubt he'll have the nerve to tell on us with wet pants especially since Madam Pince didn't even see what happened."

"That was the whole point," I said quietly.

"You didn't even argue with him," Hermione pointed out.

"He's not really worth my time."

"True, we do have work to do," Hermione remembered suddenly.

She began reading to me again. The boys tried to read but would pause for short periods of time to comment on what Malfoy's face had looked like the very second he had realized he had been hexed and what the effect of the hex was.

"You won't get any work done if you can't get your mind off Malfoy," Hermione scolded.

Several hours of hard work later would find me ensconced at a round table nearest the fire. My chin was pressed upon my right palm and my head teetered atop my neck, which had grown tired of supporting the weight of my corpus long ago. Finally I stretched, each of my muscles reluctant and unforgiving. I awkwardly rolled up the scroll I had been writing on. The essay must've been over four feet long. I didn't measure it because I knew it would easily fulfil the one foot requirement. I had found three very useful books in the library and, after reading great portions of them, had composed what I thought to be a most excellent work of art.

When Snape was ready to meet with Harry and I, I would be ready to turn in my assignment.

I made my way to the dormitory thinking of my nice, soft bed the entire way.

Dueling with Efficiency and Safety

By Lucinda Lee

Before considering safety and efficiency while dueling one must understand the extraordinary difference between dueling for practice in friendly circumstances, and dueling in times of war against real enemies. The former involves simple rules which need not be discussed here. The latter, because of its seriousness, requires much strategy and a few rules that are worthy of an essay on the subject.

The days of sword fighting are mostly over. In the present time one need not be a competent horseman, travel many miles on foot, or camp outside under the stars for many nights. This time may come again, but for now we fight a much different war than those experienced by our grandfathers and theirs. The skills we seek, though holding the same importance, are quite different. No matter how the battle is fought, in the end the goal is to win. Over taking the enemy is the ultimate goal, with each small, subsequent battle contributing to that goal. Still another goal, is to come out with as few casualties as possible while putting out the least amount of effort possible. The saying, "Rest up for there is another battle to fight tomorrow," holds true. Because of this efficiency is important. And because of this, losing soldiers in battle is extremely undesirable.

There are as many strategies for fighting a battle as there are men and women who stand to fight in it, and perhaps ten times that number. Only one must be followed though, that of the leader. The leader must rule and all must obey him. A division of forces throws efficiency to the wind and often results in high numbers of casualties. Oftentimes the leader will appoint other leaders to lead in carrying out orders. The plans of these assistants must also be followed. War is nothing but a plan, a strategy of winning, though it has more permanent and terrible consequences than does a game of chess.

Most of the greatest leaders in history were fine strategists though few did survive and win only because of luck. It is the former who we should desire to be led by. It is the former who we should aspire to become. In cases where there is no appointed leader we should develop our own strategies. We must learn to think in the dark of the night while half asleep. We must try to form plans while we stagger around in the first light of dawn before our morning coffee. This is the only way we can succeed when facing an enemy as powerful as Voldemort and his death eaters. To prepare ourselves, and maximize efficiency it is valuable to learn to function on instinct. The most useful curses should be learned so well that they are cast off like flames from a fire, natural, quick, and nearly silent. However, they must be more calculated than mere flames. Only practice in dueling at various times and places, against many opponents, can help one discover these skills.

With regard to safety, one must always keep an eye and an ear open to one's surroundings. The most deadly situations occur when one is caught off guard and engages in battle at a disadvantage. This, not surprisingly, is one of the first skills taught during auror training. Secondly, casting hexes that render the enemy physically incapable, even if temporarily, are most useful and should be used especially when one finds himself out numbered. Lastly, it is an asset to learn the proper use of a variety of healing spells. Medical attention is often many miles away and sometimes completely inaccessible.

Wars have been fought for years. Sometimes noble and well skilled knights did the fighting and other times poor surfs and tillers of soil who possessed little skill and no formal training. A commonality of all of these wars was the friends that fought in them. Brothers and sons fought side by side, their best friends fought and died beside them. After one survives the death of a loved one on the battle field it often becomes easier to face war in the future, that is, if one survives at all. It is important to realize, while still training for battle, that running to the aid of a friend who has fallen during a duel could cost one his life and perhaps the lives of others. It is wise to develop other strategies to ensure that fellow soldiers are safe such as calling out to them while still engaged in battle, moving close enough to get a peak at their injured bodies, and etc. War is not for the weak and some would say that love makes one weak and unfit to duel. I would assert though, that love makes one strong. Bonds of love give him something to fight for. It is love of life, light, and one another that make a wizard willing to die for his people. We need not be martyrs but ships sailing for dawn who keep their sails at full mast even when one should sink. It is not cold-heartedness but love of one's people that would allow us to push forward even while grieving. Grief, though at first it seems to rob us, will lift up our hearts in the end, and out of love, not revenge, grief will bring us to duel ever more.

In closing, I would submit to you, that efficiency and safety can indeed be learned through practice but it is trial and error that will cement their importance in one's mind and physical being. I would also like to propose the thought that love contributes greatly to war and can be used as a powerful tool. Further I would like to suggest that war has changed little over the years so far as its motives and strategies are concerned. Though they may become increasingly more complicated the basic ideas remain mostly unchanged. Finally, I would like to suggest that all young wizards, in this era, be exposed to the strategies of war, useful hexes, efficiency in battle, and safety while dueling.

_Resources:_

_The History of Wizarding Wars by Stuart Winn_

_Be Always on Guard by Alastor Moody_

Advanced Dueling by Simon Snape 

At breakfast the next morning it was all I could do to not fall asleep in my scrambled eggs. Ginny poked me as my head tottered dangerously close to my goblet of pumpkin juice. As a result I was startled and the beverage toppled over, splashing everyone near by, before I had time to catch it or even register that it was in danger of spilling.

"Rough night there, Lucinda?" Saemus asked from a few seats down.

"Yeah," I grumbled back. I wasn't about to tell him about the extra homework assignment I had been working on most of the night.

"Did you get it done?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah," I replied again, not much in the mood for conversation.

"I hardly scratched out twelve inches." Harry muttered quietly.

"Let's hope Snape doesn't measure it," Ron said worriedly.

"He probably will, knowing him," Hermione suggested.

Harry gulped loudly.

Just then an owl landed on my plate. So much for finishing my breakfast. I wasn't really in the mood to eat anyway. I retrieved the letter and when I opened it, it said, in Professor Snape's voice, "My office at eight o'clock this evening."

"Oh, no!" Harry exclaimed from across the table.

"Did you get a note too?" I asked.

"Yeah, does yours say eight tonight?"

"yeah,"

"I think maybe I should try to rewrite that essay over lunch."

"Harry," Hermione lectured, "if you're dueling tonight like last time, you can't be missing meals. You'll pass out, or be seriously injured!"

"But he's got a point, Hermione," Ron put in.

Harry changed the subject slightly.

"Aren't you worried about your essay, Lucinda?" he asked.

"No,"

"You should be," Ron said with a huff. "You just haven't been around Snape long enough.

"I stood up and slid from the bench.

"My essay is probably four feet long," I said. "I don't think there's need for me to worry."

Hermione followed me and we left the great hall.

Severus waited impatiently behind the desk in his office. He drummed the fingers of his right hand on the desktop impatiently before resuming his shuffling of parchments. There were so many assignments to grade that it made his temples throb just thinking about it. He sighed. How was it he came to have this job again? It mattered not. What did matter was the education of two young members of the Order of the Phoenix. They were worth his time though these essays before him were a waste and he could nearly splatter red ink over the lot of them and they would be graded accurately. Where were those blasted Gryffindors anyway? If the girl was coming with Potter she would surely be late because Potter was always predictably tardy.

At five after eight the two of them skidded to a halt outside his office. They were both breathless.

"P p Professor…sorry we're-" Potter spluttered.

"You're late, Mr. Potter, Ms. Lee," he said coldly.

"We-" Potter tried again.

"No excuses!" Severus bellowed. "Your essays, please. That is, unless you haven't made the time to complete them as of yet."

"I have," Potter answered.

Lucinda said nothing. The girl was smart and knew how to stay out of trouble most of the time. She had reached into her bag and was already handing him the parchment she had composed her essay on.

"Here you are, Professor."

"Here is mine," the boy said fumbling with his bag.

"Very well," Severus said with a sneer. "I shall read them and you will report to me tomorrow so that we can discuss what you have written. Is that quite clear?"

Yeah," Potter said. He turned to leave.

"What time should we meet you?" the girl asked. She was quite practical.

"Same time, Ms. Lee. My office."

"Thank you, Professor," she said as she slipped out the door her cane tapping out some sort of map for her to follow.

The girl was a different sort, Severus mused. She was unlike other students he had come across. It was not her gifts that made her so different for others had had gifts. Perhaps not the same gifts but gifts just the same. It had to be her disability that set her apart. There had been other disabled students at Hogwarts, few, but enough for him to realize that they were different. Not just physically different but entirely different. Disability seemed to change the soul, harden the exterior, and change the interior into a deep pool of clear water. One could get lost in that water. A fountain of understanding of all things, sprang fourth from that pool and Severus didn't understand how anyone couldn't see it. Still this girl was even different from her disabled peers. There was much he didn't know about her, much he had yet to learn.

He pressed his thumbs across his brow in an attempt to push back the headache that was growing there. Then, resolved that there would not be success, he lowered his hands, smoothed the longer of the two parchments and began to read.

"He could have just told us to drop our essays by," Harry said quietly as we walked down the hall on the way to our common room.

"Maybe he had something else planned and he changed his mind."

"Yeah, like more torture? Maybe he was planning on slamming us into a wall this time. I still have a bruise from the last time. Look!"

"I can't see it," I reminded him. "Besides, your being irrational. Professor Snape has no good reason to harm us."

"I'm sorry I forgot that you couldn't-"

Harry tried to cut in but I had no plans of letting the subject of Professor Snape go.

"This school is so divided over house loyalty. It's just plain stupid. Furthermore, do you think Dumbledore would really keep Snape around for all these years if he had caused problems and if he wasn't trust worthy?"

I paused to take a breath.

"Well, all of the defense professors since I've been here only lasted a year before something happened with each," Harry suggested.

"Snape has been here longer then a year!" I screeched.

"ssssshhhhh," Harry said softly. "The whole school will hear you. Besides, my point was that we can't necessarily rely on Dumbledore's judgement."

"So what if they have only stayed a year. I'm tired of the whole thing. Tired of Slytherin getting a bad wrap just for a few jerks, tired of everyone hating Snape, that sure doesn't help cheer him up you know."

"I don't want to argue," Harry finally said.

"Fine with me."

I walked forward briskly, my cane tapping out a faster rhythm. Luckily Harry hadn't tried to keep pace with me. He was getting on my nerves always whining or complaining. He hated Snape and the Slytherins just for being born and breathing. My parents had taught me better than that and I was being sucked into a trap, learning to act just like my friends did. I didn't like the person I was becoming. Something had to change. Harry would have to learn to accept the opinion of another and just let his feelings go enough so that he wouldn't argue constantly. I hoped I had gotten my point across.

By the next morning neither myself nor Harry was still angry. We ate in near silence though. Ron and Hermione chatted animatedly with Seamus, Ginny, and Neville, but Harry and I had already become somewhat withdrawn. Our lives had changed considerably after joining the Order even though it hadn't been for long.

"What's wrong there mate?" Ron finally asked Harry.

"Nothing, just thinking."

"You thinking extensively, since when?" Hermione teased.

"Come on, Hermione. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Suit yourself then, Harry," she said rising from the table.

I followed. I was glad she wasn't going to quiz us both for hours on what was on our minds. Ron and Harry rose and followed as well.

We reached the Transfiguration classroom early and took seats in the front row. Professor McGonagall was already grading papers, or something, at her desk in the front of the room.

"Is it your um…" Ron paused, "well you know…detention with Snape that's bothering you, Harry?"

Before Harry could reply Professor McGonagall said, "Mr. Potter, please tell me that you haven't had detention with Professor Snape again?"

Harry stammered, "Well uh, he had to bring some Order to things."

I thought it a very good answer. There seemed to be other students in the class as I could hear the rustle of robes to my right and every now and then a page turning which was not coming from McGonagall's desk. I wonder what foolish soul had left the reading for the last minute to be done in the classroom right under the professor's nose? Perhaps she would think the student, or students, were merely revising before the class.

"I see," she said in response. "And Mr. Weasley, it is Professor Snape, not simply Snape. I trust that in future you will give him the respect due a man of his standing."

"yes, mam," Ron replied quietly.

We remained quiet as students filed into the classroom and took their seats. Clearly it was unwise to discuss anything in front of McGonagall. She was nothing but a meddlesome old lady, I thought as I prepared to take notes. As I considered it, Snape was the one Hogwarts' professor who was least likely to get on my nerves.

"I assume that everyone is ready for class to begin," she said. Without waiting for an answer she continued, "Today we will be turning tea cups into rabbits."

Hermione leaned forward in her seat and I could hear her suck in a breath. I could care less about tea cup transformation. It would be much more useful to turn a rabbit into a tea cup because one might want a bit of tea while out in the wilderness. I supposed we couldn't risk the well being of the rabbit though. Still, what use was magic if it wasn't practical?

"Please turn to page thirty-six in your text books. The diagrams found there should help you consider the process of visualization you will consider while transforming the cup."

That was all fine and well if you could see the text book in the first place. Since I had already read the assigned chapter, and found no useful descriptions of the diagram, I didn't even bother to open my book. I leaned back in my chair and took on my "I don't care," face.

Professor McGonagall continued, "I would like you to work in pairs. That way you can help one another determine what may be going wrong with your transfigurations. Please refer to the book and attempt to determine at what stage the process went amiss." She returned to the front of the classroom and must have set her book down on her desk. "Please retrieve a tea cup and get started. I will move about the room so as to check your progress."

She had been teaching too long. I could easily tell that she had repeated the same lecture year after year and she had probably assigned the same book for several years. A dull book it was, and even Hermione had noted that it was out dated as there were more comprehensive and modern tomes in the Hogwarts' library.

I partnered Hermione and she set to work. On her first try she achieved a rabbit even though it was ceramic. I only accomplished a firry tea cup but I trudged on.


	11. A Different Perspective

Owl Eyes

Chapter Eleven

A Different Perspective

He changes in the night

His robes are shed in darkness

For freedom he must fight

Yours and mine and his alike

A shadow in the sun of dawn

A flame within the night

Be he trader or be he spy

A man of masks and robes

Which hide what's in his heart

Keep his soul wrapped up tight

Can he save us from the dark one

Can he keep the world in the light

He and I share many things

Yet see the world through different eyes

Offering up a new perspective

Owls' wings rising in the night

There's always another side

Because one's not enough

We want not power or fame in life

We seek truth and insight

And wish to offer you freedom

What more is there to life

"A word after class, Mr. Potter, Ms. Lee," Snape said silkily as he passed our desks during Potions class.

"Must be regarding your essays," Hermione commented.

"Hope so," Harry said.

I was unconcerned. The Healing salve we were working on had my full attention. I was determined to never mess up in Snape's class again. More than likely it would happen eventually but I'd do my best to prevent it.

"Can you pass me the toad skin?" I asked no one in particular.

It was handed to me by Harry. I blushed as his hand brushed mine. Why was I blushing? I lowered my head and busied myself with the potion in silence. I stirred and stirred as it thickened, in almost a meditative state. If I could clear my mind I wouldn't have thoughts of Harry.

Finally my concoction was ready. I carefully scraped the thick substance into a jar, screwed the lid on tight, and set it on Professor Snape's desk. Next I cleaned my cauldron. That done, I put my parchment, quill and books away. Then I waited for the other students to finish and file out of the room. It seemed like an eternity.

The door closed and the room was silent.

"Come," Snape said, walking into his office.

We followed.

"Sit," he commanded softly.

I heard Harry sink into a chair and I began feeling for one with my cane and my left hand. Snape was around his desk in an instant. His long strides making nothing of the room, imposing figure looming over me. I coward in fear.

"Silly girl," he purred, "I have no intention of hurting you."

He placed a hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me backward. Then he took my left hand and set it on the arm of a chair. I shivered at his closeness and decided I really needed to get my raging hormones under control.

"Sit," he said so softly it was nearly a whisper.

I did.

"Now then," he said when he had returned to stand behind his desk, "I have naturally finished reading your essays."

Harry and I waited for him to continue in silence.

"Miss Lee," he stepped forward and handed me the parchment I had written on, "your essay was most impressive. We shall discuss your writing this evening so that I can read you the remarks I have written. Is that agreeable?"

"Yes, sir," I replied.

"Good," he stretched out the word. "I wouldn't want to inconvenience your friends by having them read you my notations. I also think that those outside the Order need not learn some of the things I have mentioned on either of your papers. Is that clear?"

Harry and I both confirmed that it was clear.

"I have no problem with you getting help to do the extra assignments unless they are secret business of the Order but I'd prefer that you not share the returned assignments and destroy them or keep them locked up in a safe place. I will write things on them that are relevant to the Order, specific examples if you will."

There was silence.

"Mr. Potter," Snape finally said, "Here is your essay."

He stepped around the desk to hand Harry his scroll then returned to sit in his chair.

"Your work was quite unsatisfactory. Is there anything you would like to say in your defense?"

"I will do better next time, Professor," Harry said confidently.

"I asked not for an excuse or a promise but rather if you had something to say in your defense."

"No,"

"Perhaps next time you would be willing to accept more help from Ms. Granger or Ms. Lee?"

"I…I…, yes, sir," Harry sounded embarrassed.

"In the Order you must learn to improve upon your weaknesses. You will learn to ask for help when needed, to learn from others whose strengths lie where your weaknesses fall. Is that understood, Mr. Potter?"

Harry must have nodded for Snape said, "Good."

"Is that all?" I tried to ask politely. I was tired of listening to Harry being chewed out for his poor performance.

"Nearly," Snape hissed. "Tomorrow you will both start running in the mornings. You will rise early so that you are not seen and run around the lake. I should probably remind you, Mr. Potter, to stay out of the forest. If anyone discovers you, you called a professor something horrible during class or were caught half naked up the Astronomy Tower or some other such tale. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," I said knowing I would not be using the latter excuse if we were found out.

"Yeah," Harry mumbled.

Harry really didn't show the respect due his elders. He lacked in confidence as well when confronted with them. At other times he was a complete show off but I could now see why so many people thought he got by on luck alone. Mostly I thought he was lazy. Hopefully the Order would teach him to work hard.

"Excused," Professor Snape snapped.

We left in a hurry.

When I entered the Great Hall for dinner the place was buzzing with excitement. Something must have happened. When I sat down at the table with Ron and Hermione, I blurted, "What's everyone so excited about?"

"First Hogsmeade weekend on Saturday," Ron said with his mouth full.

"You know," Hermione said, "you could swallow before you speak."

"Sorry," Ron said with a still full mouth.

Hermione huffed.

"It's a bit early for Hogsmeade, you know," Harry commented while piling his plate.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Don't know," Harry said.

"Usually the first Hogsmeade visit isn't until Halloween," Hermione explained.

"That's not for a month," I said.

"Yeah," Ron said, mouth finally empty. "I hope we'll get another one then. Maybe I should ask McGonagall so I know how much stuff to buy this time 'round."

"Good idea," Harry suggested.

"It isn't the end of the world if we don't get to go on Holloween," Hermione said hesitantly. "I would like to get out twice though."

"I'm sure they'll let us go again," I said confidently.

"Why you so sure about that?" Ron asked.

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

Harry changed the subject. "We've got Quiddich practice this evening. Don't know how long it'll last."

"We've got to get on top of things," said Ron who was enjoying his first year on the team.

As if on cue Fred and George appeared just then.

"Ready for practice?" Fred asked.

"Yeah," Harry said.

"We need tons of it if we're gonna beat Ravenclaw," George said.

"I hear they've been practicing nearly every day," said Fred.

"You're making me nervous," Ron said, mouth full again.

"Maybe we should be nervous," Harry said.

"Well, see you," the twins said in unison.

"We should go start warming up," Ron suggested.

"Right after dinner?" Hermione screeched. "Your food isn't even settled. I don't see how you can possibly fly around like that, I'd be sick!"

"That's why you aren't on the team," Ron joked.

We all laughed.

"Come on, Ron," Harry said. "See you all later."

"They'll never get there homework done," Hermione commented.

"I know," I replied. "I don't know how they do it all."

"How is Harry going to keep playing Quiddich with the… well you know, his new responsibilities?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure he's taken them completely seriously."

"What did Snape say about that work Harry had done for him?"

"He wasn't impressed. In fact, I've gotta see him tonight about mine. He's going to read me his comments on it."

"I could've done it," Hermione said.

"He thinks it's confidential," I told her.

"Really!"

"Yeah,"

"We should probably go get started on homework anyway," Hermione suggested.

"Yep, wouldn't want to be like Ron and Harry."

We both laughed.

Two hours later, after describing three Muggle kitchen appliances and their uses for my Muggle studies class, I knocked on Professor Snape's door. I wondered what comments he could possibly have about my essay.

"Enter," a cold voice said abruptly from inside the office.

"Miss Lee, do come in and seat yourself."

I remembered the location of the chair I had occupied on my previous visit and sat in it. Snape rounded his desk and handed me a cup of tea.

"Tea, Miss Lee," he said.

I got the feeling that hospitality was not his forte. Someone, probably Professor Dumbledore, had obviously schooled him in the fine art though, because he was not rude. I wouldn't be bold enough to ask for sugar. I sipped the tea quietly. The British were so strange having tea at all hours. I would've preferred soda or water.

Realizing I had not yet spoken I said, "You wanted to see me about my essay?"

"Yes," he said quietly. "May I see it?"

I reached in my bag and pulled out the essay. He took it from me gracefully.

"Thank you," he rounded his desk and sat. Snape leaned forward in his chair and smoothed the parchment before him. "I found your work to be most interesting."

"May I ask why?"

"You may. I find it interesting that you poses a view much different from your peers."

"How so?"

"Hush child and I shall tell you."

I sat back in my chair and attempted to rest my hands in my lap but the tea made this awkward.

"There is a table to your right," Snape said conversationally. Then he continued as if nothing had been said regarding the matter, "The vast majority of your peers are preoccupied with themselves. They cannot see, nor imagine, the great impact that war is having, and will have, on the wizarding world." Professor Snape paused and I could hear a clock ticking in his office. "Why is it, Miss Lee, that you are able to see beyond yourself and realize the cause and effect of adult matters?"

"I don't really know, sir," I replied shyly.

"Did Miss Granger help you write the lengthy piece?"

"No," I said, then admitted, "but she read to me out of the books I used."

"Not surprising that she chose those particular resources to gather information from. She may be a good ally for you, then again, she may serve as a bad influence."

"What do you-"

"Some questions… are better left unasked, Miss Lee."

I looked down at my lap.

"I trust that you understand the importance of serving in the Order. In time you will understand the role you play in this war. We, the Order members, have discussed strategies of war most extensively in recent times. You will continue to study this subject on your own, or with Ms. Granger's help. Is that quite clear?"

"Yes, sir," I said lifting my tea cup again.

"What you have written here is a start but not enough. Should you choose to continue your studying of the subject you could be an asset to the Order."

I was nervous. What was he trying to tell me? On one hand he had nearly praised me for my efforts, then on the other he had said that I didn't know enough and had suggested that I might need Hermione's help to proceed. I couldn't even make the connection between my essay and the Order's business. Why hadn't we had this conversation in front of Harry. Surely the message Snape was trying to get across would apply to him as well?

"You mention love," he began, "though I don't fully understand your reasoning. Explain."

"I believe that love is a powerful motivator in times of war and at other times. Perhaps it is the most powerful of all." I didn't really know what to say.

"Surely," Professor Snape said silkily, "you can't mean that it is the most powerful motivator of all?"

"Well, I… I am not quite sure, I-"

"What about power, fame, anger, lust, revenge, or just sickening desires for dark things?"" he boomed.

In seconds he was around the desk again. He stepped in front of me. My heart beat furiously. I was afraid more than I had ever been in his presence.

He bent down, one hand on my shoulder, and said, "There is much to learn, Miss Lee. Time teaches well and not all lessons are pleasant ones."

I shivered involuntarily as his hot sweet breath touched my face, his cold words like fingers exploring my spine.

"Even the rose has thorns," he said smoothly.

He stood and stepped back.

"You are excused."

"Thank you."

"There is a meeting of the Order tomorrow night," he said. "I trust you will inform Mr. Potter?"

"Yes, sir."

"Do not be late," he stepped behind his desk, "and do try to ensure that Mr. Potter is on time as well. You may go."

I didn't need telling twice. I left the room in a swirl of robes. There was nothing that made me want to stay there, and engage in further conversation with the Potions Master.

Once again I found myself slipping quietly through the darkened halls of Hogwarts. My destination, the headmaster's office and the Order meeting. With each step the realization that we were fighting in a war was brought ever closer. We would lose lives. This wasn't just about the strategies Snape spoke of when I saw him in his office. It was about wand to wand combat, bloodshed and dead bodies. I shivered and pulled my cloak tighter around me.

"Good evening, Miss Lee."

I jumped at the sound of spoken words so close to me but soon realized that it was merely professor McGonagall. I tried to be polite even though I found the woman incredibly annoying. After all, she was the head of Gryffindor house so I was expected to be polite to her and make her think that everything was okay between us and life was more simple than it really is.

"Evening, Professor," I responded.

"I presume you have important business that is keeping you out so late? It is past curfew as I'm sure you realize."

"Yes, mam. I'm going to see the headmaster."

"Then I think I will accompany you to see that you find the way and don't cause any trouble. Is that agreeable?"

"Of course."

We walked in silence. I wondered why she was acting so strange. She had to have known that I was going to a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix. She was in the Order herself and would be expected to attend also. I hoped I wasn't talking to someone who was impersonating her.

When we reached Dumbledore's office Lupin was there again to greet and inspect everyone. This must be his official job. I worried about some sort of plan. If he went over to the Dark Lord he would, and could, let anyone in to the meetings. I shivered at the thought. Dumbledore trusted this man though, to carry out this most important task and so I should trust him too.

"Good evening Miss Lee, Professor, McGonagall," Lupin said quietly.

He began casting his series of spells, first over me, then over McGonagall. As I felt the gentle swish of his robe and heard his voice, strong but near silent, I knew that there was no possible way this man would turn over to the Dark Lord. No wonder Dumbledore trusted him. There was not a bone of indecision nor a cell of evil within him.

"You may go inside, Miss Lee."

I stepped onto the spiral stairs after thanking Mr. Lupin.

Again the room was bustling with Order members. Some of them must've always chosen to go by portkey rather than Apparating. The mood of the room was much different than it had been the last time. No one was as eager as they once had been. I decided there couldn't be too many important things to discuss. I was greeted by several of the Order members which made me feel welcomed. Again Harry had not arrived.

Professor McGonagall approached me.

"Miss Lee," I turned to face her. "I just wanted to apologize for my abruptness in the halls."

"No problem Professor."

"I didn't want other students to hear us. You never know who is about the castle at these hours and what they might be up to. You must be careful, Miss Lee."

She tried to adopt a motherly tone but it was nearly lost because she had probably never had children before.

"Thank you for your explanation, Professor McGonagall."

"Well, I thought one was owed to you."

I nodded. She simply wasn't my favorite person to talk to.

It seemed like Dumbledore was going to be late. I groaned inwardly at the thought of his tardiness. I was exhausted. I'd been working on homework nearly all evening and working with Hermione to help Ron and Harry. Ron really was a bit slow which wasn't his fault, and also lazy which was. Harry, on the other hand, spent much of his time either being lazy or thinking of the past and the future. The present was something he just couldn't cling to long enough to analyze it or appreciate its beauty. It was as if the present were a butterfly that, if he captured it at all, he would not be able to hold onto, and for the short minute when he did he'd worry about its fragility.

We had run twenty minutes together in the morning and my muscles were still protesting. I wondered if his were too. We had talked of his past experiences with the Dark Lord. I had wanted to know about them for future reference and he seemed glad to have someone he could trust to share things with. Ron and Hermione had been his only true friends, it seemed. I suppose he trusted me because I was in the Order with him and he knew I wasn't going to turn information over to Voldemort or betray Harry's friendship in any way.

I sighed and began looking for an unoccupied chair. I didn't want to interrupt anyone to ask where one was, nor did I want to sit in anyone's lap accidentally.

A hand of long silken fingers grabbed my groping wrist.

"Miss Lee, I seem to be rescuing you from the land in which there are no chairs repeatedly. That place in your brain that longs for a place to sit but refuses to ask for assistance."

I blushed and lowered my head.

"Come."

"He led me to a chair and for a moment crouched before me.

"It is okay to ask for help, Miss Lee. You need not be the hero. That is for Mr. Potter to do. This is the Order. We are brothers and sisters here. We help one another. You will both learn that in time, and hopefully in reasonable time."

He squeezed my wrist slightly, then departed before I had reason or time to comment on what he had said.

I couldn't believe the words I had just heard had come from Professor Snape. He was loving and gentle in his manner. It was a whole different side of the cold, cruel, abrasive man everyone knew. I turned my head to listen around the room. Perhaps these people knew both sides of him as well. Maybe he was even known to hug one of them a time or two. Harry certainly wouldn't believe that, even if he saw it with his own eyes.

"It is once again time," Dumbledore's voice said from above the noise of the gathered crowd.

Everyone stopped talking and began assembling themselves in the center of the room. I rose and made my way toward where I knew the portkey to be. People moved aside slightly for me and one put a hand on my shoulder to urge me forward. We used a wizard's robe once again. I guess we used it because it was large enough for everyone to touch at once.

Before I knew it the portkey was activated. I felt a tug deep in my belly. It was as if a hand had reached inside me to grab my heart but as soon as it had started, and I had spun and flipped a few times, it was over.

We arrived at the same destination with me immediately sinking to my knees with exhaustion.

"You must rise and fight it," a gruff voice said. "Come on now, stay alert, keep moving."

The man lifted me by the elbow and led me away from the spot where we had landed. After a few steps I could walk on my own more easily.

"I'm Alastor Moody," the man said conversationally.

I remembered the name instantly.

"I used your book for a homework assignment recently," I said.

"Good.. good."

We arrived at the structure known as the Order headquarters.

"Inside now, Miss Lee."

Once we were inside he let go of my arm. As we stepped into the room something clumped noisily on the wooden floor.

"What is that thumping noise?" I asked.

We stopped walking and the noise stopped as well.

"Perhaps you mean my wooden leg?" he said.

"Oh," I said in surprise, "that would probably be the noise."

"Works well, but I've got to spell it to be quiet at times so it won't betray me."

I nodded.

"Well, I hope the book was of some use to you, Miss Lee. It was a pleasure meeting you."

"Same here," I said, "and I very much enjoyed reading the book."

I didn't want to tell the man that I hadn't read the whole book and had been so tired by the time I finished that essay that I didn't know which information had come from which volume. From our conversation though, I could estimate that Moody was one of the Order members that worked on strategies for fighting the war. I had a feeling I'd see a lot of him in the future.

"All are accounted for," Lupin said quietly.

Even his quiet tone could settle the assembled members. I marveled in the strength of the man.

"Good," Dumbledore said with one clap of his hands. "We shall begin then. There are a few matters we must discuss. First, Severus will give us a bit of useful information."

"The new recruits are to be marked in three days time. It will be the night of the full moon. I have good reason to believe that several students at Hogwarts will be marked at that time." Snape sounded tired and frustrated. "As of yet the new recruits have been kept secret. I am sure, no matter who they are, we will have several spies at the school."

I wondered what danger this would put Harry in.

"How many do you think will be marked, Severus?" McGonagall asked.

"More than likely eight or ten," Professor Snape replied.

"What protection will this require for Potter?" asked a woman's voice I didn't know.

"We will keep a close eye on Harry, as usual," Dumbledore explained.

"I think I can manage," Harry responded.

"You do have a tendency to get yourself into trouble, Mr. Potter," Snape said silkily. "We don't want you playing the hero as your arrogance often has you doing."

"Constant vigilance," Moody growled.

"I will be careful," Harry said.

"Hopefully, you will keep your word," Snape hissed quietly.

"What about Miss Lee?" a man asked.

"I don't believe she is in danger as of yet," Snape said. "Though it is only a matter of time before the Dark Lord realizes her presence at Hogwarts and her abilities. He will want her turned over, to serve him, to make her his own."

I trembled at Snape's cold voice and the meaning of his words. The school year was getting more difficult by the day. I was sure Malfoy would be receiving the mark. He seemed like the type and Harry had told me that Lucius, Malfoy's father, was a Death Eater. I had already upset Malfoy. I hoped the new recruits wouldn't be carrying out their initiation tasks at Hogwarts. I would have to be sure to never publicly demonstrate my abilities which was more difficult than it first seemed.

"We must keep an eye out for strange behaviors at Hogwarts from this time forward," Dumbledore said and closed the subject.

"There is also a roomer going around the Ministry," a man began. "You-Know-Who plans to release the Dementors from their duties and find them other tasks."

"How did you gather such information, Arthur?" Snape asked.

"It is quite remarkable the things one can discover while listening to private conversations there." The man replied.

"When will this occur?" a woman asked.

"I don't know," Arthur said.

"Severus?" the same woman asked.

"I have no knowledge of this," Severus said. "He must not be ready to carry out the plan any time soon."

"That is most helpful to know," Dumbledore said.

"We must prepare," McGonagall said.

"The students must be taught to defend themselves," Lupin spoke up.

"Indeed," Dumbledore commented. "Harry, I believe you can help with that task?"

"Yes, sir," Harry said confidently.

"Very well. You have my permission to practice in your spare time to prepare for training to start one week from now for fourth years and above."

"Right," Harry answered.

"I have been in touch with several Americans who are willing to help us," another man said.

"Yes," Dumbledore began, "I have done the same."

"I think they will come to be most useful," Professor Flitwick squeaked.

"Several will be relocating here," the stranger reported. "I think we should examine them for omission to the Order."

"Miss Lee's parents have every intention of joining with us," Dumbledore said. "Her father will have a lot to contribute and her mother is a skilled healer."

"It will be nice to have another healer among us," Madam Pomfrey said excitedly.

I hadn't even known she was an Order member.

There were murmurs of agreement from the assembled Order members which could only mean they agreed with Pomfrey.

"Is there any further business?" Dumbledore asked.

Silence.

"If that is all, the meeting of the Order of the Phoenix is closed."

People began milling about, most talking with one another. I felt like an outsider. I wished I knew more of the order members. Harry found me but we had little to say to each other.

It was late and all I could do was yawn. I wondered who was coming from America to help. The wizarding communities were so spread out in the United States that it was often hard to organize any sort of activity especially a war. I figured that Voldemort was ready, and willing, to attack any part of the world. He certainly wouldn't just go after Britain.

Most Americans didn't even understand the full depth of the war. It was a whole different world in America. Much of the old magic had been lost. Blood magic was almost never performed. Learning how to fight dark magic was not part of the schools curriculum. Dealing with magical creatures and giants had not been necessary for years. The unforgivables were seldom used. The wizarding jail was never full to capacity. Muggle appliances and transportation were used by many wizards. My parents, at least, had not conformed to the new way of doing things. They held on to wizarding customs and knowledge as best they could.

I decided Americans could contribute something, but I didn't know what that something was.


	12. The Three Broomsticks

Author's Note: Please Review! If you want to join my yahoogroup to be notified when the fic is updated, discuss the fic, or other fics especially disability related ones send a message to: that is, in case the link doesn't work, White Owl 2 dash subscribe at yahoogroups dot com Thanks and enjoy.

Owl Eyes

Chapter Twelve

The Three Broomsticks

What shall befall us all

When the Dark Lord comes to call

In the streets his servants meet

And the Dementors' kiss some shall greet

The spy some say has gone astray

He helps the valued get away

Some shall sleep and find their rest

With others rising to the test

Many wounds we have endured

And our hearts not left reassured

The fire within us ever burns

For the Dark Lord he returns

I was ready even before the morning came. I had begun to dress even before I could feel the warmth through the window as the sun made its ascent. My dorm mates slept soundly even as I left the room to seek out something with which to occupy my time. In the common room the fire had already been lit and I stretched and yawned before its warm beauty. With my back to its hot flames I devised a plan.

With a destination firmly planted in my mind I began my journey through the halls of Hogwarts. I was headed for the front doors so that I could go outside and enjoy the morning. I'd try my feet at running without Harry and clearly it would be an adventure. Life is certainly dull if one doesn't explore its full potential and I wasn't the dull sort at all.

After rounding my third corner I heard a squeaky voice say, "You are up quite early, Miss Lee."

"Good morning, Professor Flitwick," I replied with all the enthusiasm I could muster.

"I bet you are excited to visit Hogsmeade with your friends this afternoon?" he said politely.

"Yes, very. In America we have many wizarding neighborhoods where there are hospitals and a general store or two which might sell assorted items, but there are only five or six true wizarding towns or villages. Those are scattered throughout the country and I haven't been to one since I was seven, though I did have a grand time even then."

"Hogsmeade is simply splendid," Flitwick squeaked. "Make sure that you visit the Three Broomsticks for a butterbeer. I wouldn't want you to miss out on one of the finest drinks we have to offer."

"I'll be sure to do that."

"Have a marvelous day, Miss Lee."

"I'll do that, and same to you Professor," I replied.

I continued my adventure through the corridors and onto the front lawn. When I neared the lake where I could hear the water gently lapping the shore, I paused. I hoped I wouldn't end up in the lake as a result of my jog. I imagined the giant squid, who was probably sleeping restfully at the bottom of the lake, extending his tentacles until he could reach me. He'd push his fish-like arms up as high as he could reach and grasp at water, reeds, air, or whatever he might catch. I'd be a goner for sure. I pushed the thoughts out of my head, turned to my left and began jogging.

When I had run what I'd guessed must be two and a half laps around the lake I suddenly tripped. I was thrown forward with a jolt and landed in a heap on my right knee with both hands supporting my fall. I sighed heavily. Without hesitation I rose to inspect myself. My hands were slightly bloody where twigs had broken the skin of my palms, and my robe had a large tear across where my shin was from whatever I had tripped over. I retraced my steps a few paces and found the culprit, a fallen log. I groaned. Why was there a log in my running path? How had I avoided it twice then collapsed over it on the third time around? I didn't know but it didn't really matter either. Believing that it was probably time for breakfast I began to make my way back to the castle. My hands stung as they bled and I realized I probably couldn't hide my fall from my friends. I wasn't in the mood for a scolding. In fact, I never really was though I had received several throughout my life. I just hoped I wouldn't lose house points for breaking some rule I didn't know existed.

I attempted to enter the Great Hall and slip into my usual seat at the Gryffindor table unnoticed but I was unsuccessful.

"What happened!" Hermione screeched, her tone full of worry. "Let me see you." She was at my side in an instant. "You're bleeding."

"I'm fine."

"But-"

"Leave it alone, Hermione," Harry said.

"I can't," Hermione replied, her words directed at Harry. "What happened?" she asked me.

"Can we sit down at least?" I asked her.

She took me by the forearm and walked me to my seat but did not return to her own.

"You're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be," I mentioned. "I don't want any professors finding out."

She returned to her seat, realizing that I didn't want to attract attention to the situation.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"I was just running," I continued, "and fell. It's no big deal. Just a little blood and a rip in my robe. I'll wash up before Hogsmeade."

"But you shouldn't be running alone!" she said quietly her voice still animated.

"It's my fault, really," Harry said with his mouth mostly full. "We're supposed to run together in the mornings but I wasn't up early enough. Besides, I thought we were gonna take weekends off, Lucinda?"

"Well I-" I started.

"Harry," Hermione scolded, "you should be more responsible. If you don't take, well you know, your work seriously then… well, it won't be good what'll happen because of your irresponsibility."

"C'mon, Hermione," Ron put in, "it's the weekend. I don't think one run really matters."

"Well-" she said.

I cut her off, "Can we just drop it!" I boomed.

Most of the Gryffindor table fell silent.

"Alright," Hermione agreed.

"Sorry," I said, "and sorry I worried you."

"It's okay."

Breakfast was then eaten in silence.

An hour later found me changed into clean robes, my hands washed up, and waiting in line to go to Hogsmeade. Filch took his job of inspecting everyone who left and comparing them to his list of students with permission slips seriously. The line moved slowly and the eager bodies in it wiggled and twitched with anticipation.

Finally we were out the doors and walking across the grounds. Since my cane was difficult to use over rougher terrain, I clutched Hermione's elbow. We talked as we walked about what books or magazines we might want to buy but the boys went on about different things they could use to blow up the Slytherin common room. Hermione explained how they had snuck into it in their second year disguised as Malfoy's only friends. I knew I wouldn't be participating in those sorts of pranks so I paid the conversation little attention.

When we reached the village the sounds and smells were overwhelming. We passed a shop with screeching owls and meowing cats which I assumed to be some sort of animal shop. We then passed some sort of restaurant which smelled of wonderful lunch items, though it seemed to early for lunch wizards and witches were odd folk and ate different things at all hours. As the sounds and smells drifted in, and were stored in my memory, I could almost imagine what the people must've looked like. There must be all sorts who visited and lived here. All different robes, colors, velvet, lace, buttons and clasps all being different and styles both old and new being present. There had to be werewolves, vampires, ferries, goblins, and other types who frequented the various shops. Patrons both young and old must sip butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks which Flitwick had mentioned. I was excited with the goings on in the glorious village.

"Zonko's first," Ron was saying.

"You can't possibly be planning to do what you were talking about on the way here?" Hermione asked in a scolding tone.

"Well," Ron gulped.

"You can't be serious!" she screeched.

"Hermione's right, I cut in. "You can't just go around causing trouble when ever you want. There are more important things than torturing the Slytheranes. Besides, don't you think we got Malfoy good enough in the library?"

"They're right, Ron," Harry said sensibly.

"Well, can we go anyway?"

"As long as you aren't going to blow anything up," Hermione decided.

"Come on," Harry said, and the boys walked ahead.

I had commenced the use of my cane so made an effort to catch up to them, Hermione lagging behind me. They stopped and held the door open for me. I stepped into a cramped shop filled with the laughter of my noisy classmates. How did the shop owner stand the noise?

I received a full tour of the place.

"These nose biting tea cups are fantastic!" Ron said, putting one in my hand.

As I felt the contours of the cup and ran my index finger around the cup's rim it clamped down on my finger. At first I was not impressed but I couldn't help laughing as I tried to free myself.

I was shown all sorts of other things, Ever Stinking Socks, Smoking Quills which burnt holes in parchment if left still enough, Ever-Dull Blades which remained dull even when sharpened multiple times, Hide-It-All Ink to be rubbed on books so that the title would disappear and re-appear randomly, and Sneezascrolls which made anyone who wrote on them sneeze. I decided to buy a bottle of the Hide-It-All Ink just before we left the shop. It might keep people from stealing my books and I was curious if the reading spell I used could read the writing despite the product poured over it. Of course I bought a bottle of the cleaner to go with the ink just in case the spell couldn't handle reading through magic ink.

Next it was on to Honeydukes. Neither I nor Hermione protested when the boys had insisted we go there next. I couldn't believe the assortment of candy. I bought a pile of chocolate frogs, a bar of Honeyduke's best chocolate, several strawberry candies, and an enormous bag of caramels. Ron, Harry, and Hermione also bought their share of sweets.

"Three Broomsticks?" Harry asked hopefully.

"No," Hermione replied. "Lucinda and I need to get a few books."

"Books!" Ron protested.

"Oh come on, it won't kill you," Hermione said dragging him off.

Scrollots turned out to be an enormous book store which also carried various types of parchment, quills, and drawing supplies. I was in awe of the place. The shelves, Hermione mentioned, were built to the ceiling. The place was quiet though, with little echo that would normally exist because of its high ceilings and large space. Only whispers of pages turning, or the whispers which come fourth from lips could be heard. Hermione led me through the enormous shop as we talked of different tomes and what we wanted to read. We had lost the boys near the drawing supplies.

"Here's the dueling section," Hermione said.

"Do they have the three books we used for that essay I had to write?"

"Just the one by Alastor Moody."

"Okay, I'd like a copy of it and I'll see if they can order the other two."

"Can I borrow them?"

"Of course!"

"Thanks. Let's see what else I can find." A few minutes later Hermione exclaimed excitedly, "Dueling as An Art!"

"Sounds interesting," I confirmed.

"I think I'll get this one. What else did you want to look at, Lucinda?"

"Something to read for fun."

"Poetry, short fiction, muggle literature, magazines?"

"No, some sort of wizarding text that isn't for school or on dueling."

"That doesn't narrow it down much. I think I'd like a biography, then we'll see just what we can find for you."

Hermione selected a book called The Stories of Five Prominent Gryffindor Witches and I found a book with funny stories called Hysterical Encounters with Muggles. When we had selected our purchases, ordered the two books the store didn't carry, paid for all of it and pulled the boys out of the shop-which wasn't difficult-we headed to the Three Broomsticks.

The pub was full of the noise of laughter and glasses clinking. Someone rushed passed me, must be a waitress or the pub owner I thought. Hermione had grabbed my arm and was half guiding me, half steering me through the tables to the back of the pub I imagined. I bumped a few chairs as we went and murmured apologies to their occupants. We made our way through the smoking section quickly and I coughed reflexively. Once we were seated I was glad we had found a table that wasn't in the midst of the pipe smoke.

"Where are Ron and Harry?"

"Getting butterbeers," Hermione replied.

"Professor Flitwick recommended them highly when I saw him this morning," I said.

"I like them better than most muggle options," she said pulling her chair closer to the table.

It was round and the chairs around it wooden yet comfortable. The atmosphere was welcoming. Not one of those places where you felt you should guzzle down your drink and get out of there so the table could be filled with other people.

Harry and Ron returned and I sipped at the warm butterbeer. Hermione had been right about its appeal over muggle concoctions.

The boys were on about their practices and the first game. Hermione and I were mostly quiet except for a few comments here and there. I was familiar with the sport but never followed it closely. If the announcer was good it could be enjoyable but otherwise I didn't care.

"We've trained an entire reserve team," Harry was explaining.

"I thought it'd be a good idea," Ron said shyly.

"It's a great idea, Ron," Hermione put in, setting down her glass.

"It'll help a lot I think," Ron replied.

I stopped paying attention to the conversation. I couldn't get my mind off of the times we were in. Sports, homework, and crushes on boys were far from my mind. The pranks Harry and Ron were planning sounded childish. I wondered whether or not Hermione and I could stop them from carrying them out.

"Perhaps we should get back to the castle," Hermione suggested. "I've got loads of studying to do."

"Is that all you think about?" Ron asked.

"Mostly"

"It's not such a bad thing, you know, Ron," I said encouragingly.

"And you don't have to come with us," Hermione reminded him.

"We may as well," Harry said. "I've got work to do too. Not a lot of it but we can play chess after."

"Alright," Ron agreed sounding defeated.

He slowly rose from the chair as did the rest of us. Hermione was guiding me out of the pub again. We made our way down the street, me using my cane again and the trio describing to me the shops we hadn't had time to enter. Hermione, every now and then, would comment on the clothes someone was wearing or the interesting things they were doing. Occasionally we passed a classmate and polite greetings were exchanged.

Suddenly Hermione gasped. Ron or Harry grabbed my arm firmly stopping my forward movement.

"What is it," I asked.

Before I could get the words out, Hermione said, "Dementors!"

"Death Eaters," Ron followed up with.

I froze. The temperature of my innards dropped considerabley. The chill and fear made me quiver.

"We've got to get out of here," Hermione gasped.

"We should help fight," Harry said bravely.

He seemed always the foolish one. He wanted to jump into everything blindly. He survived on the assumption that he would be okay. The thought that he would be a help to someone.

Ron was already firing curses."

Look who we have here. It's Harry Potter and his friends," a cold voice said dragging out each word.

I was terrified . Maybe I should've stayed in America. Truly this place was not safe for me, or anyone.

Screams were heard both from nearby and far away.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked coldly.

That wasn't Malfoy's voice, I mused. Perhaps it was a relative? His father?

Harry was clutching my arm.

"I think you know what I want," the man stepped closer.

"You're not getting anything from us," Harry spat back.

He then fired off a curse quickly. I was impressed at his speed. The extra work and practice was probably doing him some good. Malfoy was knocked out on the ground.

Footsteps running away from me were confusing.

"Dementors!" Hermione screeched again.

She left my side at a trot. I was confused and didn't know what to do or where to go.

"Ron?" I asked.

No REPLY 

I began making my way out of the street, attempting to find the building line at least. I needed to get out of the crossfire. Then suddenly I was freezing. I dropped my cane and pulled my robes around me. I shivered trying to find the source of my discomfort.

I fell to my knees remembering memories from the past. My grandmother dying in her hospital bed , her few last rattling breaths. How she wheezed on the last. The feel of the cold stiff body of my previous owl whom I had found dead on my bed. The yelp of a neighborhood dog who had been hit by a car. The laughter and taunts of kids whom I had once played with. Voices of Headmasters denying me entrance to their schools. Lectures from my cane travel instructor, her harsh bitter words almost cutting into my flesh.

Someone had grabbed my arm then. I hardly noticed or felt the firm, almost painful when I finally did realize it, touch. The feeling of Apparating. Was I safe?

"You are not ready to fight such a battle," Snape's smooth voice said directly into my ear. It was soft and protective. "You are at the Hogwarts' gates. You are safe here Miss Lee. You must make your way to the castle alone. I cannot afford the time to accompany you. Stay out of the forbidden forest or your fate shall be worse then it was in the town."

"Thank you, Professor."

"I require no thanks."

I reached out to touch him and found his arm. The contact was both brief and light.

"I must find Potter," he said backing away.

With a pop he Disapparated.

Would Harry be okay? I made my way forward, hoping that was the way to the castle. It was the way in which Snape had left me facing. I tried to avoid the forest, walking along its edge I could feel the stands of trees beside me. I dared not step closer to them. The ground was rough and I stumbled trying to pick my way over the rocks, dirt, grass, and unevenness. My cane had been left in the village.

I began to hear classmates returning. Some were moaning in pain and others tried to comfort them in vein. No one stopped to help me. Where were my friends? Had the worst happened?


	13. Souls Lost

Owl Eyes

Chapter Thirteen

Souls Lost

Empty bodies without hope

Here love has died

Inside

The vessels whole or broken

It matters not

Where has the freedom gone

Death has escaped them

It's grasp open

Unclenched

Souls shall feed the darkness

There is no turning back

No undoing

No revival

Now only survival

A bitter life

The world gone cold

For the souls

We could not hold

Might love free them

Might peace reign again

For I cannot except

The dying of souls

And this way

The story must not end

Severus sat in the hospital wing perched on the bed of one Harry potter. His arm was wrapped in a sling and he rested it in his lap as he stared openly at the sleeping boy. The boy's face and left arm were badly burned. Madam Pomfrey had done what she could, but the child would remain scarred, disfigured. How would the golden boy take it? He had only woken briefly, according to Pomfrey, and even then hadn't really asked about his condition. Severus had brewed him an extra strong healing potion for burns, despite the Professor's injured arm. Severus's ligaments and bones were a mess and the healing process would take a few days. The Hogwarts' Healer had wanted to keep the arm immobilized, but it hadn't stopped Severus. He had asked the Granger girl to aid him with the ingredient preparation. She was more than happy to oblige. Somehow she had escaped with only a few scratches. The Weasley boy was an entirely different story. He had nearly been paralyzed and Pomfrey was still working on him. There was great improvement and Severus wasn't really concerned with the boy. He wondered more if Potter would survive this latest event and if so, how?

"How is he, Severus?" the Headmaster asked as he approached from behind.

"As well as can be expected, I suppose. It is time for his potion application again in a half hour."

"You are doing these yourself?"

"Every two hours."

"You need to get some rest as well."

"I am fine. The boy needs to recover. The disfigurement will be severe enough. We need not impact it by our carelessness or laziness.""

Surely Madam Pomfrey could-"

"It is a new potion. I am studying its effects. It might be dangerous. Perhaps the boy would not want it applied to his skin if he were awake."

"That, I do not know. The matter is of little importance though. He is in no state to make a decision now."

"What of those who have gotten kissed, Albus?"

"Many are so young. They have not signed Soul Saving Contracts which were once so common. It has been many years since we needed such a thing. Once the Dementors ran wild. This was when I was a boy. We had the contracts then. Everyone signed them and signed for their children too. I'm afraid the practice has been lost."

"They are destined to live out life in their current states?"

"I am afraid so, unless we can change the law, but that might take many years."

"The hospital will be full by the time the war ends and-"

"There is nothing we can do, Severus."

"He must be stopped. That is the only answer. I had no information of this attack. I feel as if I am losing his favor. I don't know how to regain it. I don't know how to keep them safe, the four of them. The girl looked shaken. I don't know how to train her to fight."

"Severus, I know it all weighs heavy on your heart, however there is little more that we can do."

"We must do more than wait, Albus. If we stand aside it will be to late."

"For some, yes. We cannot save them all. I have faith in the boy though," Dumbledore looked at the wounded form of Harry Potter in the hospital bed. The youth's burnt, reddened face was a great contrast against the white of the crisp sheets. "We must buy him time. It is our only choice, Severus. We can do little more than that."

Albus rose and left the hospital wing quietly but not without glancing about him at the injured students crowding the ward. Severus wondered if Albus understood the seriousness of the matter. The Dark Lord would strike again and it would be soon. He didn't want to wait for the boy to mature.

I sat in the Common Room trying to read my transfiguration text, but I could not concentrate on what I needed to take in. The words kept slipping into my ears, but I didn't notice them. Finally I ceased the reading spell and looked up at Hermione.

"Do you think the potion you and Snape made will work?"

"I don't know."

"Was it very difficult to brew?"

"Reasonably"

I had nothing else to say.

I thought about the lives lost. Four people had received the Dementors' kiss. Seven people had died. Ron's brother Percy had been among the dead. Ron didn't know yet. He was still trying to recover. Ginny, Ron's sister, had wailed at the top of her lungs when she had heard. Her brothers, Fred and George, had tried to comfort her. The room had been silent except for her screams and sobs. No one had words for her. Someone would have to tell Ron once he recovered.

Death almost seemed better than the Dementors' kiss though. Who wanted to live as a shell of a being? Who knew how long you'd live in that state. I wish I had stayed to help. Perhaps I would've done some small bit of good. Sometimes I tried to blame it all on my blindness. I felt guilty for being blind. Some days I just felt worthless. The truth was, that if I could receive enough training I could be a deadly weapon in a battle just as anyone else could, but with my ability to do wandless magic and control the elements, maybe even more so.

"What will happen to the people who got the Dementor's kiss?"

"Hospital I suppose," Hermione replied.

"Is there no way to free them?"

"I don't know, we learned about something in History of Magic, but-"

"Perhaps we could go to the library?"

"Alright."

I knew that getting Hermione focused on something would help her. She was worried about both Ron and Harry. The war wasn't going to get any easier. Perhaps I could teach her to push through the pain of things, or at least distract her from it.

We walked silently through the halls of Hogwarts. The dampness clutched at my clothes. Sometimes I missed being at home. The Muggle schools there weren't so cold. They weren't large enough to swallow a person up. They weren't like Hogwarts and they didn't carry its joy. It was the joy I was usually greatful for, but not today.

Once in the library, Hermione looked through the volumes that lined the crowded walls. She piled many before me and I began examining them. The papers turned between my fingers like whispers of hope dancing in the wind. Some of the tomes were crumbling with age. I turned the pages of these more carefully. Each page was a reminder of my own mortality. Some day I would be so changed by the passing of years that others would notice it. Or perhaps, I would become damaged like one book which had a hole burnt through several pages. This particular volume reminded me of Harry.

Finally we found the ancient contracts that had once been signed. We also discovered that current wizarding legislation in England and other neighboring countries did not allow for the signing of Soul Saving Contracts after one's death. I was discouraged by the news. It was depressing. I could no longer take the warm closeness of the library and its smell of old books. Usually I found the atmosphere comforting but not today. Not anymore.

"Let's visit Hagrid," Hermione suggested just then.

"Good idea. I need out of here," I replied.

It was raining lightly. The earth smelled new and was slightly moist and the grasses caressed my ankles. The birds did not sing and there was a slight wind so that the raindrops blew directly into my face. I cared not at all. Perhaps it was just to cleanse the land of its sorrow.

Hagrid's cabin was warm and smelled of some sort of stew or soup cooking. As soon as we entered he had pulled Hermione into a bone crushing hug. Fang bounded around the room. He bumped into my leg, coating me with slobber. I scrunched up my face in distaste. He was huge and the slobber which fell from his jowls in rope-like strands matched his size.

"Oh, Hagrid," Hermione said almost breaking down.

"I know, Hermione. 'arry and Ron'll be alright. Jus' you wait and see."

"Harry looks terrible and Ron hasn't woken up at all."

"Give it some time, Hermione. I'm worried too but there's nothin' yeh can do. I've just been trying to occupy myself 'round here. I can't hardly bear to look at 'em like tha'."

Hagrid hugged me a little less enthusiastically. He and Hermione were both sniffling. I remained quiet. I felt their pain but couldn't completely share it.

"Can I get yeh some tea?"

"Yes," Hermione replied. "Tea would be nice."

I nodded.

The fire, as large as it seemed, had dried the cabin quite thoroughly. It felt good to be in a dry place. The dampness soon left my robes and hair. I stood before the flames and warmed my hands, trying to make sure that I didn't get to close. I could nearly feel the flames licking at my fingers.

"This war is getting' brutal. Yeh never know when You-Know-Who will strike again. He's getting' bolder by the day."

"yeah," I replied.

"They'll get better. Just yeh two watch. It'll be okay."

"I hope so," Hermione said. She sounded defeated.

"Professor Snape made Harry a special potion for burns," I said, trying to lighten the subject.

"I helped," Hermione added, her tone more confident.

"Tha will help I'm sure. He's the best Potions' Master for miles 'round. Yeh can' find a better one than him."

Hagrid's reassurance seemed to warm the room.

I drained my tea cup, tipping back my head just slightly.

Hagrid reached across the table to refill it. The splashing sound of the tea falling into the cup was somehow comforting. I was becoming accustomed to the taste of tea and drinking it at all hours, on every occasion.

We sat in companionable silence. The fire crackling behind me was the only sound to be heard.

"I'll be getting' up to the castle soon to see 'arry and Ron. First I jus' have to check on them sideways crabs. They're getting' quite big now. Do yeh two wan' see 'em?"

"Sure," I said knowing that any amount of time spent out of the castle would be good for both Hermione and I.

The crabs were so large that they spilled out of my two handed grasp. Hagrid had gotten them fairly tame so they didn't offer to pinch me. I was grateful for that. They weren't exciting but they provided distraction enough.

After a few minutes we left Hagrid to tend to his odd pets. The rain had stopped, yet no birds sang. Perhaps they too were in mourning. Perhaps they had no words as I had none. Perhaps they had flown from this land, or wanted to. I didn't mention any of this to Hermione. She had enough musings of her own, of that I was sure.

"I'm going to the hospital wing," she said abruptly as the great doors of the castle closed behind us with a rush of air.

"I'll come," I said quietly. I hoped it was the right thing to do and wouldn't interrupt her peace or invade her privacy.

We walked in silence. I could hear other students passing though none spoke to us.

When we entered the hospital wing it was clear that Ron was awake. He was in no pain, but the movement of his extremities was severely limited. Dumbledore had been sent for and we were mostly quiet after voicing our greetings and asking after his current state of health.

Moments later Dumbledore entered. He was clearly recognizable by the scent of mint that always clung to him and by his quiet, almost unnoticeable, footsteps.

"I see that you are awake Mr. Weasley."

From what I could tell there was no response from Ron. Perhaps he had nodded.

"How is his progress coming, Madam Pomfrey?"

"Steady but slow," she replied.

"Good, good," the Headmaster said. "There is something we must discuss, Ron," he continued. He sounded older than usual.

"What's that?" Ron asked.

"We lost a few people in the attack on Hogsmeade, Ron. None were students, all fully trained wizards though two students, Cho Chang and Thomas Clous did receive the Dementors' kiss. It was most unfortunate."

"And Harry? What about him? Is he okay?"

"He will be fine. He is badly burned but he will certainly survive the attack."

Ron sighed audibly.

"It's Percy though, Ron," Hermione interupted.

"What happened to Percy?" Ron's voice nearly screeched with worry.

"He was killed, Ron. He was badly injured. There was nothing we could do to save him," Dumbledore explained.

"No!" Ron nearly screamed. "He can't-"

"I know it is difficult to understand, my boy. I know."

Ron was crying now. I wouldn't have thought him the crying type. Hermione had stepped forward and was comforting him. I slipped away and walked toward where I knew Harry's bed to be. I located the chair I had sat in before but someone was occupying it. I jerked my hand back reflexively.

"Miss Lee, it is nice to see that your ability to locate seating arrangements has improved." Professor Snape still sounded cold but he almost had a mocking tone to his voice as well. "Shall I conjure you a chair?"

"Please, sir, and I am sorry."

"No need," he replied dismissing my apology.

With a muttered spell and a whisper of his robes as his arm moved, a chair materialized. It plunked onto the floor lightly. Upon my investigation I determined it to be made of wood. It was unadorned and straight-backed.

I sat in the chair silently. I hoped Harry would wake soon.

Professor Snape said nothing, though we sat together for a long while. Ron's sobbing seemed to have stopped and Hermione was quiet as well. I imagined her sitting on the edge of his bed, one arm draped around him.

"Professor," I finally said with a tentative tone.

He shifted in his chair and grunted quietly. I wondered if I had interrupted his thoughts or maybe he had been asleep.

"Miss Lee," he said when I hadn't continued speaking quickly enough.

"Hermione and I," I started, "found a contract that used to be signed in case of the Dementors' kiss."

"I have spoken to the Headmaster about the very same," he responded unguarded. "Those who received the kiss wouldn't have signed one. I suspect the practice will be brought about again soon."

"There is nothing we can do?"

"I'm afraid not, not for Miss Chang and Mr. Clous."

I was quiet again.

It seemed like an hour had passed when Harry finally stirred.

"Mr. Potter, I see that you have returned to the land of the living."

"Cho," was the first word out of his mouth. "It was to late. I got burned by one of the Death Eaters. I couldn't conjure a-""

"Oh Harry," I said, now realizing why he and Hermione had been in such a hurry when they had left me.

"You can't save everyone, Mr. Potter. No matter how hard you try. This is a war. Lives will be lost. It is time for your potion once more."

Severus knew he was perhaps being to hard on the boy. Potter had to think of his luck in the attack though, not his losses. He had left with his life and so had his close friends. Once again luck, and a touch of skill, had helped them to survive.

The boy ignored what Severus had said.

"Where is she?"

"Hospital , where she will remain."

"I let her down. I don't know if she'll forgive me. I need to talk to her. This is all my fault."

"Firstly, she will not know you again, Mr. Potter. Secondly, you must not blame yourself. This war is not because of you. The Dark Lord wants control and he will do anything to get it. The war is about power. Blame and guilt have no place in it."

The boy fell silent.

Severus had twisted the lid of the jar off and was rubbing the potion into Harry's burnt skin. The boy gasped in pain.

"Where is Madam Pomfrey?"

Potter asked it as if he couldn't care if he ever saw Severus again and he probably couldn't.

"There are many injured students, Potter. You aren't the only one this time."

"Ron? Hermione?"

"Ron has finally woken up," the girl told him. "He has some sort of paralysis. It seems to be wearing off though. Hermione and I are fine."

"How did you, I mean I left you just standing there, Lucinda."

The girl lowered her head. Clearly she had felt abandon by her friends. When she raised it though there was a touch of admiration in her eyes.

Severus continued to rub in the potion.

"It's all right Harry. I mean I was scared and all and I lost my Muggle cane," she seemed to pause. Clearly she didn't know what to say next. "Professor Snape came for me. There was a Dementor and all. We Apparated."

"You mean you almost got the kiss?" The boy was beside him self. He sat up in the bed and nearly knocked the jar of valuable potion to the ground.

"Mind yourself, Mr. Potter. This potion cannot be easily repeated. And, Miss Lee is fine. You need not concern yourself with her well being."

Severus closed the bottle and rose from his chair. Neither of the children spoke.

"I will be back in two hours for another application," he said, and left the ward.

"He made that potion especially for you," I said hoping to see some gratefulness in Harry's demeanor.

"Really? Why would he do that?"

"He cares, Harry. He really does."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Ron will get better you know. Everything will be okay again." I tried to be comforting. I could sense his pain.

"It won't be the same again though. Never again."

"I know," I replied.

"Who else got kissed, died and all?"

"Well, I don't know everyone, but Ron's brother Percy was among the dead."

"Percy! Oh Ron must be-"

"He's devastated, Harry," I confirmed.

"I need to go and talk to him," he said in a gruff voice.

"You can't just get out of bed."

"Sure I can."

The blankets were rustling as Harry moved about in the bed.

"A little dizzy," he commented.

"Maybe you ought to hold onto my arm," I offered.

He took a tentative step forward and accepted my offer.

"You shouldn't be up."

"You sound like Madam Pomfrey."

"Let's hope she doesn't find you out of bed."

"Yeah."

We made our way to Ron's bed and Harry drew back the curtain slowly.

"Harry, your awake!" Hermione said jumping up from her seat.

She enveloped him in a huge hug and I removed my arm from his grasp.

"Oh Harry, I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried about you. With Ron, and Percy, and just everything. Oh Harry."

I felt the love pass through them. It radiated out from their excited forms. It wasn't a love that contained lust just a pure love between friends, kindred souls. These three loved deeply. I had not had that between friends and was unsure of what to make of it.

"He should sit," I said shyly.

Hermione dragged a chair over immediately, its legs scraped the floor.

"Ron," Harry started, "I'm so sorry to hear about Percy."

"I know mate," Ron responded. "Dumbledore said there was nothing they could do for him."

"It seems it was too late for more than one person," Harry said.

"Oh Harry, you can't blame yourself," Hermione pleaded.

"Remember what Professor Snape said," I reminded him.

"I know," Harry replied.

"What did that greasy git have to say?"

"Ron!" Hermione scolded. "If it weren't for Snape, I mean, Lucinda…She wouldn't be here. We all left her, Ron. All of us. And I couldn't fight the Dementors off anyway and you…"

Hermione had broken down into uncontrollable sobs.

I couldn't imagine what it was like to be her. She was always trying to organize things. She wanted to make everything right. She tried desperately to help those she loved no matter the consequences.

"It's okay, Hermione," I said. "Someone needed your help more than I did."

"But the Dementors-"

"You had no way of knowing they'd come after me."

"But we should have guessed," Harry said determinedly.

My respect for him grew. He was fierce in his need to save others. He was not proud. He simply was expected to do things, to save others, and so he worked at it with all his might.

"I'm okay," I said. "I'm okay," I repeated again hoping the words would sink in.

"Yeah, were all okay," Ron said.

The next morning Harry was at breakfast. The Gryffindor table welcomed him warmly. The conversation was more animated than it had been since the attack. Ron was still in the hospital wing and would be for some time. He had improved, if even just a little. I did hear some students whisper about Harry's face and wondered if he heard them as well.

Halfway through breakfast Harry jumped to his feet pushing himself free of the bench.

"Professor Lupin, Snuffles!" he burst out.

"How're you feeling, Harry?" Lupin asked.

"Lots better," Harry replied.

"Maybe we should go somewhere where we can talk?" Lupin asked.

"I'd like to see you all in my office," Dumbledore said as he walked calmly passed our table.

"Come on, Lucinda," Harry said. "You ought to meet Snuffles, too."

A dog was nuzzling my leg. I couldn't understand what was so exciting about a dog but I followed along behind everyone wishing I still had a cane to help me navigate.

Once in Dumbledore's office the dog had turned into a man. He introduced himself as Harry's godfather, Sirius.

"Harry, I was so worried," he said. "I was on assignment in, well never mind where. It's just good to see that you're okay. Your face looks terrible though."

"I'm fine, Sirius."

"Good," he patted Harry's shoulder loudly.

Harry squealed in agony and nearly collapsed from the pain.

"Harry?" Sirius asked. "Are you okay?"

"The burns," Harry said.

"Oh Harry, I'm sorry," Sirius apologized. "Which one of those filthy death Eaters did this to you?"

"I don't know, Sirius, they had masks on you know."

"I'd like to find every bloody one of them and string them up by their-"

"Sirius," Dumbledore said quietly . "I think it would be best if you would sit down."

The irate man complied with Dumbledore's request, and all of us sat with him.

"There are matters we must discuss," Dumbledore said.

"Yeah, like how to wipe out the entire Death Eater population," Sirius suggested.

"No," Dumbledore said still calm. "How best to protect Harry."

"I don't want anymore assignments for the Order," Sirius spoke up. "I'll stay with Harry. I'll guard him day and night."

"Your work is important to the Order," Lupin put in sensibly.

"Someone else can do it," Sirius complained.

"It's your expertise," Lupin reminded him.

"Remus has a point, Sirius," Dumbledore said. "I think things will be okay with Hogsmeade visits discontinued and the school closed to most visitors. Harry will need to be extra careful though."

"But what about what Professor Snape said?" I asked, referring to the children at Hogwarts who would soon be marked as Death Eaters.

"I'm afraid there is nothing we can do about the students who will be marked by Voldemort," Dumbledore said."

Students will be marked!" Hermione exclaimed."

Yes, I am afraid so, Miss Granger. However, if we were to expel them, we would be letting Voldemort know that we had a spy among us."

"Then Snape would be caught," Harry said.

"Professor Snape," Dumbledore reminded. "I'm afraid so," he answered then. "He would be in grave danger and we would lose his valuable information."

"Why didn't he let us know about the attack if his information is so valuable?" Sirius asked angrily.

"He cannot know everything about Voldemort's plans, Sirius," Dumbledore soothed.

No one said anything. Dumbledore's words needed a minute to sink in.

"I think it best if you go soon, Sirius. There will be ministry officials coming momentarily. They wish to check up on things and interview some of the students."

Sirius rose with a huff.

"Harry, you know you can contact me anytime. Just watch what you put in your messages, you know?"

"Yeah," Harry replied quietly.

Clearly he did not want to see his godfather go. He seemed to feel safe, happy, and loved with him there. Perhaps Harry wasn't as strong and tough as his exterior seemed to show.

"I'll be seeing you soon, Harry," Sirius reassured.

I wondered what trouble Sirius would get into, trying to meet with Harry without anyone noticing.

"See you then, Sirius," Harry said.

"See you," Sirius replied.

"Goodbye, Harry," Lupin said.

"Bye," Harry replied."

Goodbye both of you," Hermione said.

Professor Lupin and Sirius left the room. The door clicked shut behind them. After a few moments, Harry got up and left Dumbledore's office without saying a word.

Hermione and I rose to leave.

"Just one more moment," Dumbledore said.

I paused and turned to face him.

"Sir?" Hermione said.

"Harry will need some time. This is difficult for him. He has had no one for so long. It is hard for him to see Sirius go."

"Me, and the Weasleys," Hermione suggested.

"Yes," Dumbledore added. "You are much like family to Mister Potter, but he is still not really a part of your families."

I couldn't imagine having no one. My family was very close. My extended family visited often and everyone was concerned with everyone else. They didn't always understand my blindness but they were there for me in their own way and I appreciated it more than any of them would ever know. When life got to hard there was always someone there. I couldn't imagine carrying Harry's burdens and not having anyone to turn to for so many years. His relatives, the Dursleys, sure weren't a support system for him. I was saddened by Dumbledore's words.


	14. The News

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Owl Eyes

Chapter Fourteen:

The News

Words are more than blotches

Of ink, on a scroll of parchment.

They are memories, or suggestions,

Or facts, or philosophies.

It all depends on what one wants to write.

They may bring fear of icy fingers and jagged blades.

The reassurance of a mother's touch.

The passion of a lover's grasp.

They are yet still words, and nothing more.

We cling to them, no matter their news, and believe

Or question them, no matter our age.

Words are important in this time,

At this place in the world.

The Daily Prophet was full of news of the battle in Hogsmeade. Personal accounts cluttered several pages of the newspaper complete with pictures of the people writing them, standing with their families. Everyone looked relieved to have survived and grateful to have one another, Hermione had told me. Obituaries had come out in the first issue after the attack. These only included those of the physically dead. The news of those who had received the Dementors' kiss would come later. With that news, there were numerous articles about Soul Saving Contracts. Copies of old forms of the contract were included, information on laws regarding it from different countries, law makers proposals of what might happen now that some had received the kiss, suggestions from ministry officials on how to complete and file a Soul Saving Contract, and an article explaining the contract itself. I already understood this last so didn't read it. It was simple, you signed the contract and if you were kissed a ministry official was permitted to feed you poison so that your body would die as your spirit had. They had not been needed for at least one-hundred years while the Dementors had been under control.

The ministry had not attempted to cover anything up. Even the fact that sixteen Death Eaters had escaped prison along with mass murderers and others was now common knowledge. It was surprising to my friends and I.

"They haven't even bothered to try to make a cover story," Harry commented, his mouth full over breakfast.

"There's something strange about it," Hermione whispered as she leaned across the table.

"Like what?" Neville whispered, edging closer to us to be part of the conversation.

"I don't know. Fudge had been so determined to pretend that the, well, You-Know-Who, didn't exist. I don't know why he's come around."

"His name is Voldemort," Harry said.

His comment was received by gasps then silence from the nearest half of the Gryffindor table. I couldn't understand why everyone called him You-Know-Who and didn't blame Harry for correcting them. It seemed to be some sort of mild war between Harry and others. I would be sure to call him Voldemort.

"What about him?" Fred asked.

"Yeah, is there more news of what he's up to?" said George.

"No," Hermione answered. "It's just The Daily Prophet."

"Well, they have to write something," George said.

"They can't leave us all hanging."

"They may as well write the real thing."

"No use in making up fake stories."

"We're off to see Ron," the twins suddenly said in unison.

"I wonder how long he'll be in the hospital?" I asked, when the twins had gone.

"Don't know," Harry replied.

"It still doesn't look so good," Hermione reported.

"He's moving better though, right?"

"Yeah," Hermione answered me.

I finished my breakfast in silence. I had little to say. So many of my fellow students went on as if nothing had happened. We were at war and they seemed relaxed, giddy even. It wouldn't last long. They'd get grumpy after no Hogsmeade weekends were forthcoming and many of them would spend the Christmas holiday at Hogwarts. Parents wouldn't want their kids at home, if they had the option of leaving them at one of the safest places in the world. I hoped I wouldn't have to remain here. I had friends I cared about now, but I really missed my parents.

The sound of squawking and tearing of envelopes brought me back to my senses. It was the owl post. A strange owl delivered me a letter which I was not expecting.

_Dear Lucinda,_

_Your mother and I were so worried about you. We heard about the attack in the village near the school. Dumbledore contacted us, but today the news is in our own paper. I am so relieved to hear you're okay. Be sure to thank the Professor who removed you from the situation. We couldn't bear to lose you, Lucinda. You are what we hold most dear. Your mother and I both agree on that point._

_We are prepared to relocate. When you next write your owl will not have far to fly. It will no longer be necessary for her to fly to international customs for help with transportation. I cannot say more than that. I cannot give our location but we will look forward to seeing you soon. It is most unfortunate that Hogwarts doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving because you will not receive time off for it. No matter, we will be together in spirit._

_Love, _

_Dad_

I was excited at the news that my parents were definitely moving closer. It would increase my chances at seeing them over the holidays. I would not have to travel overseas to do it now.

We made our way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. I hoped Professor Wiggins hadn't heard how Snape had taken me back to Hogwarts when the fighting in Hogsmeade had started. If someone had mentioned it to her she would certainly bring it up during class. I wasn't sure anyone really knew though. At least not anyone that would be sharing the secret with Wiggins. Well perhaps it was news and not a secret.

A slight chill filled the confines of the classroom. It complemented my mood. I folded my arms across my chest once I was settled in my seat. It would have the effect of keeping me warm as well as sending a silent message to Professor Wiggins that I didn't really care what she had to say. The woman hadn't taught me a thing about defense thus far. I was leaving my education on the subject entirely up to Professor Snape and he hadn't yet disappointed me.

Wooden chair legs scraped against the stone floor as my colleagues seated themselves and pulled in their chairs. Book bags were set down, parchments shifted and unrolled, books open, and quills scratched momentarily probably writing down date and course information. I waited patiently. I was already prepared to take notes. I braced myself for the moment when Wiggins would enter the room.

"She's late," Hermione commented from beside me.

"Maybe she's not coming," Harry said hopefully.

"That'd be nice," I agreed.

"I'm sure someone would have told us," the ever logical Hermione stated.

We waited.

Footsteps approached the front of the room. The class had had a calm hush about it before but now it had a deadly silence. I was sure Wiggins had arrived.

Thud!

She had slammed her book on the desk as usual.

I jumped and gasped in reflex, my hand going to my wand instinctively.

"Jumpy, are we, Miss Lee?" she said mockingly.

I did not answer.

"Five points from Gryffindor for being so fearful of an ordinary thing." She had come out from behind her desk and was pacing the floor. Her heels clacked lightly making little pinging noises as she walked back and fourth. "To defend oneself one must know when to react and when to keep still. When to expend energy and when to conserve it. But most importantly, one must know when a wand is needed and when it isn't. Miss Lee has failed on all counts."

The room was silent and again I did not reply.

"Turn your books to page three-hundred-fifty-six," Wiggins barked. "We are moving ahead for a time."

Books cracked open, pages flipped, whispers started and stopped abruptly.

"Werewolves," she breathed. "I hear one of your former professors is one."

"But we've already gone over werewolves, Professor," Hermione said.

"Five points from Gryffindor for not raising your hand, Miss Granger, and another ten for challenging my syllabus."

Gasps could be heard around the room accompanied by small murmurs of protest.

"Is there anyone else who would like to challenge my teaching style?"

No answer. The silence was so complete that time could have stopped without anyone noticing because nobody moved and many held their breath in anticipation. The woman seemed quite deadly.

The rest of the class consisted of Professor Wiggins asking questions and not awarding points for correct, well thought out answers. We left without gaining back the points Hermione and I had lost.

"Snape is a sweetheart compared to her," Lavender said as soon as we were clear of the door, and on the way to our respective electives.

"You can say that again," Neville replied. His voice sounded shaky.

"I wish she'd get fired," Harry groaned.

I couldn't agree with him more but said nothing.

Then suddenly,

"Look out!" Lavender squealed shoving me to the left.

"Do you mind!" I roared. "Everyone is always pushing me around, grabbing my arm. I'm sick of it. I'm not a child or a toy. I'm a human being and I understand directions like stop, go left, and take my arm please."

I hurried off pushing through the slight crowd.

"Wait!" Hermione called after me.

I ignored her plea.

"Please," Lavender said panting from the effort of matching my stride. "I didn't mean to. It was just that Mrs. Norris was-"

"Did you ever stop to think that I could teach her a lesson about tripping up students?" I spat.

"Well, no, Lucinda, I didn't," she answered honestly.

I had to give her credit for her honesty.

"Look," Hermione started, "we didn't mean to upset you. It's not like…I mean we don't, see someone who is blind every day. You can't expect us to-"

"I'm sorry," I apologized before she could even finish.

"It's alright. I understand you're frustrated."

"We just don't know what to do," Lavender said, exasperated.

"I know," I replied. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"I'm gonna be late to class," Hermione said, startled. "Can we talk about this later?"

I nodded.

She ran off in the other direction. I had no idea where Lavender was or had gone. I didn't care. I pressed on, focused on my Muggle Studies class.

Severus Snape, professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, took his role as spy quite seriously. The truth of the matter was that he had no choice. He could be a diligent and careful spy or lose both his job and his life. He happened to hold both quite dear. His efforts to intimidate the students each year were not a representation of his liking for the position. His work was his life. His life, by his account, wasn't the greatest, or best possible, or even acceptable at times, but most days he relished it enough not to dispose of it carelessly. It would not be hard to end it, not at all, and if he chose to, no one but the Headmaster would call it suicide. The roomers would fly once someone examined the body though. A Death Eater teaching at Hogwarts would not be accepted by most of the wizarding world. If Severus was ever found out many would call for Dumbledore's resignation.

His torment of the students was little different from how he had been treated as a child at home. He believed it was this treatment that had hardened him through the years. He had survived because he had to at first, not because he wanted to. The want had come later. The desire to live, achieve , and explore. Those things had come once he had learned the first lessons of survival.

He often forgot that the harsh treatment he had been exposed to by his parents and extended family had hardened him so much that he hardly ever loved. He had had three partners, one while at Hogwarts, one lost to the aurors, and a third killed at Voldemort's hand. Most days he told himself that that was enough. Three had been enough for any man. He tried to convince himself that he hadn't loved them deeply, no, not deeply enough. Told himself it didn't still hurt, didn't matter anymore. But he knew too, that love conquered many things, yet thought it best if he could conquer love. He wished to rise above it entirely. It was a faulty thing for lesser men, and certainly he need not indulge in it further.

He saw love in the eyes of his students though. He saw how they'd shine with admiration for one another or a beloved pet. When it happened it was a reminder that he was yet a man with real feelings. If he could recognize love when he saw it surely he could feel it. If he could feel it surely he would welcome it. With welcoming came a great need to grasp it, to cling to it like a climber to his rope even when his hands were raw and split deeply. It was the need for love that made him think of it. His wants were of no importance but if he needed something he must have it or risk not being an effective spy. Not all of his needs were part of Voldemort's knowledge. The Dark Lord would leap at the chance to kill another of Severus's lovers. It was the ultimate punishment.

Severus also forgot that his treatment as a boy had nearly thrown him into the hands of the Death Eaters. By their cruelty and abrasiveness his parents had said, "Here is our son! Take him for your own. Welcome him into your circle. We offer him freely. Make use of our gift. He might do something great and useful for your cause. We have no use for him, but he is of pure blood. Let not his mind and soul be wasted."

Surely, Severus's treatment of the students, or anyone, wouldn't throw them into the hands of Voldemort. Wouldn't it be more likely that his example as a Death Eater and reputation in Slytherin house would do that? His teaching style would simply make it easier for them to survive outside of Hogwarts would it not?

His thoughts were too many. Presently they quelled the pain so that when he pushed them back, pressing them into his subconscious, the pain increased. He forced his right hand over the skin of his forearm with a grimace. Although he had been expecting a summons on this particular evening, he felt no relief in receiving it. It was another test of his endurance and his ability to maintain the façade

With a pop he Disapparated at the edge of the Hogwarts' grounds. He resumed realization in a graveyard. Masked figures stood about waiting for their leader to bring them to order. It wasn't that they were disorderly but they fidgeted and whispered words which expressed their unease. They knew what was about to happen. Some were excited, others indifferent, and Severus wanted to leave. Yet he wanted to stay, to stop the night's activities before they were even started. He could do neither. His hands were tied with heavy chain. Some could see it but most could not. Severus was the only one that would ever understand the limitations brought about by the fastenings around his wrists, the ropes intertwined with his soul.

The circle of robes stirred for one last moment then stilled. When the Dark Lord appeared it was as if a dying body had taken its last breath, yet the men within the robes remained living. Lord Voldemort stood proud. His magisterial figure didn't quiver in the slightest.

"My precious followers," Voldemort said, his eyes sliding around the circle of Death Eaters.

"My Lord," they breathed as they bowed deeply.

The Dark Lord tapped his wand impatiently. He required that everyone bow to him but tonight he didn't want to take the time to wait for them to finish. He had more pressing matters.

"Tonight, I shall have the privilege of marking a new generation of followers. Boys and girls who have been raised to fulfil my every desire and quench my thirst for leadership and power." The Dark Lord paused and waited to see if anyone dared question him even with the smallest gesture. No one moved. "You, my faithful ones, shall have the pleasure of witnessing their commitment to me. Do not let yourselves forget this honor."

Severus couldn't help but notice the change in the man's thinking. When the professor had been a young man Voldemort had marked followers to serve a cause and so that they could help carry out actions that would bring about the changes they all desired. The markings were different now. He had become more cruel and twisted as time had passed. He now marked people who wanted to serve him, not a cause. He looked for individuals who would do his bidding without question. Their wants and desires were disregarded entirely.

"I am pleased with our demonstration in Hogsmeade. The Dementors have served me well, as have you, my servants. Unfortunately," he drew out the word, "Harry Potter is still alive. He must be killed. We will continue to demonstrate our power to both wizards and Muggles."

There were murmurs of agreement.

"Bring the young ones forward," The Dark Lord hissed. "We will start with your son, Lucius."

"Thank you, My Lord. It is an honor for him to begin the marking ceremony. We are pleased."

A man's dark figure had stepped forward and was bowing deeply, his head near his feet.

"I care not if you are pleased, Lucius. Only that you are loyal."

"Yes, My Lord, as always," Lucius answered.

"Come, young Malfoy," the Dark Lord beckoned.

The young man stepped forward. He wore a dark robe but no mask and no gloves. His pale face was framed by his golden hair turned silvery in the half darkness. He was so pale his skin tone matched that of the Dark Lords. He attempted to steady his trembling form before the Dark Lord's feet. Slowly he crept forward to kiss the hem of Voldemort's robes. He backed away too quickly for the man's taste though.

"Do you dislike me such that you cannot linger in my presence, young Malfoy?"

"No, my Lord, n n no."

"""Good, we cannot have you disrespecting me. Such things are not acceptable. Do you understand?"

"Yes, My Lord."

The Dark Lord turned away from the boy nearly dismissing his confirmation. His look was angry as ever.

"Wormtail, have you forgotten your duty?"

"No, My Lord," the squeaky voice replied.

"Are you waiting for a reminder?" The Dark Lord raised his want threateningly. Then, "Crucio," he finally said.

The fat man convulsed wildly on the dirt before the Dark Lord's feet. His screams disappeared into the night, swallowed up by the silencing charms that were part of the wards surrounding this section of the graveyard. His limbs stiffened, flailed, and contracted in turns. Finally the curse was over. He silently rose to his feet after obtaining a nod from the Dark Lord. He set to work before his master. He summoned a fire in a large cauldron that had been sitting in the center of the circle. Shadows now danced about the cast iron container. Another iron, the brand, was thrust into the flames, its handle resting on the cauldron's rim.

"It is as you wish, My Lord," Pettigrew reassured.

Hissing could be heard from the cauldron's depths as the iron heated. After a minute had passed Voldemort approached the flames.

"It is time," he growled his lips pressed into a cold smile.

He removed the iron from the cauldron where it was being heated and held it before him.

"Lucius, you will do the honors. I assume that you are grateful for this reward?"

"Yes, My Lord. I am most grateful to you. You provide me with all things that are good."

Voldemort handed the long iron to Lucius and stepped back to watch his favorite form of entertainment.

Draco knelt bravely before his father at the height of his foolishness. He thrust his left arm forward and stared with wide, unblinking eyes. The iron was pressed firmly to his flesh. Suddenly his eyes were squinched shut and he arched his back bellowing in pain. The Dark Lord cast a freezing charm so the boy could no longer move. His mouth was left open, the terrible noise from within it continued. The sizzling sound the iron made as it burned through his flesh was audible many feet away. Finally the branding was finished. Voldemort removed the freezing spell and the boy collapsed on his right side. He clutched his left arm but was afraid to touch the skin anywhere near the mark. He opened and closed the fingers around his arm over and over again hoping that somehow the pain would ease. Severus knew from experience that that particular pain wouldn't ease for days.

"We are not finished young Malfoy," the Dark Lord reminded.

Lucius stepped forward, grabbed his son by the shoulders and hauled him into a kneeling position once more.

"Your father is kind to you. You will not always have such luxuries."

Draco lowered his head probably more out of pain than respect for his new master.

"Do you swear to serve me fully and loyally and understand the consequences if you fail in doing so?"

"Yes, My Lord."

Again he thrust his left arm forward. It trembled with pain and he nearly reached out with his right hand to support it but thought better of it and withdrew. It was never good to disappoint the Dark Lord and show him one's weaknesses. Suddenly Voldemort's wand was upon the boy's flesh. He screamed and clawed the air. The man spat fourth a string of Latin which Severus had never bothered to translate. The young man shook violently at his feet. Then the wand was drawn away, a soft line of blue light following it. As it was drawn back the boy screamed even more passionately and blood spurted from the fresh mark. Voldemort held his wand steady for several minutes then dismissed the beam of light with a flick. The boy had passed out and lay motionless on the soil, which was now darkened with his own blood.

"Remove him from my presence," the Dark Lord told Wormtail.

Pettigrew stepped forward as gracefully as a fat, incompetent, fool could, and lathered a salv onto the boy's arm. He held it roughly and spread on great lumps of the ointment with carelessness. When he had finished Lucius helped him drag the boy out of the way, so that the next young soul could be marked. A gurgling sound could be heard coming from Draco's lips as he was carted off. Severus knew from experience that the boy would be quite sick by morning. Other students would follow, a handful of Slytherins, two from Ravenclaw and one Hufflepuff.

It went on as so for several more hours.

Crabbe and Goyle took the mark, their fathers bursting with pride. They would increase in Voldemort's favor, their loyalty confirmed by their gifts thrown at the Dark Lord's feet. Severus was surprised to see Mandy Brocklehurst and Terry Boot making a commitment to the Dark Lord. He had always viewed both students as quite sensible. They were two who understood cause and effect and usually thought through their decisions quite thoroughly. Justin Finch-Fletchley had not been a surprise at all. The boy tended to question everything and often appeared to be with drawn from the world.

The thought that Albus could do nothing to expel these fledgling Death Eaters was unsettling. In doing so he would reveal Severus as a spy and the Order would then be lacking in important information. None of the students would pose a threat to Potter alone but as a group they could be deadly. He was sure that Malfoy knew enough hexes to curse an army, at least one that wasn't fighting back. Miss Lee would be in danger as well. Their training would have to increase in its intensity and they must be prevented from moving about the castle alone. Severus wished that Potter was the sort to follow rules, more than he ever had before. He waited for his dismissal from the Dark Lord's presence with anticipation. He wanted to report to Albus immediately.

Ron shuffled in to the common room just as we were all leaving it to go to breakfast. His steps sounded unsteady and he moved slowly.

"Ron, you're back!" Hermione screeched.

"Bloody hell, Hermione, are you trying to kill me?" he said in a muffled voice.

"Of course not," she apparently pulled back from their embrace. "I'm just happy to see you out of the hospital wing."

"Good to see you, Ron," Harry clapped his best friend on the back.

"You too, Harry,"

"I'm glad you're finally out of Madam Pomfrey's clutches," I told Ron.

"It's practically a family reunion," Neville said, coming up from behind me.

"Yeah, but I don't see Fred and George," Ginny said as she appeared out of nowhere to give her big brother a hug.

"I'm starved," Ron exclaimed.

"Don't they feed you in there?" Neville inquired.

"Nothing worth eating," Harry answered before Ron had had a chance to.

"Your face looks terrible, Harry," Ron commented.

"It really does," Ginny put in.

"I know," Harry said.

He sounded as if he were looking down at his feet. I imagined it had to be hard for him, looking so disfigured. He already had one scar on his face and more would make him further set apart from his peers. Everyone would want to know how it happened. People just couldn't stay out of Harry's business. I felt sorry for him.

"We'd better get to breakfast," Hermione said. "We're running late."

"Are you walking okay on your own?" I asked Ron.

"Well," he started, looking down at his feet, "sort of."

"Don't worry," Hermione said brightly. "You'll be back on your feet in no time."

"I hope so."

"Come on," Harry encouraged.

We made our way to the Great Hall with Ron shuffling along like an old man. I hoped he'd get better but didn't know if I should approach the subject with him. There was a chance he wouldn't recover fully or wouldn't be healed for months. He explained to us that Madam Pomfrey had designed a strict course of therapy for him. He had potions to take, exercises to do, and he was required to soak in a hot bath every evening. His time away from his broom was already turning out to be the most difficult thing he would have to endure.

"Malfoy came into the Hospital Wing early this morning," Ron explained once we had sat down at the Gryffindor table.

"What for?" Harry asked.

"He was vomiting blood. Madam Pomfrey drilled him with questions but he just said he felt a little off."

"Vomiting blood?" Hermione thought aloud. "People don't just vomit blood."

"Not unless they've been cursed," I agreed.

"What do you suppose happened?" Hermione asked anyone who would answer her.

"Beats me," I said.

"Some of the Slytherins aren't at breakfast," Harry pointed out.

"Maybe they're visiting Malfoy?" I questioned.

"No one was with him when I left," Ron said.

"What time did he come in?" Harry asked.

"About four in the morning. Woke me up."

"What would he be doing awake at that hour?"

"Must have gotten woken up by the barfing," I commented. It wasn't exactly great breakfast conversation.

"Something seems suspicious," Hermione said.

We were all silent and thinking when Fred and George arrived which interrupted our thoughts.

"It's about time you got off your duff and out of the Hospital Wing," George said.

"We were beginning to wonder if you were getting fond of Madam Pomfrey," Fred added.

"A little too fond maybe," George teased.

"Oh, go bother someone else," Ron whined. "Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Yeah, you're eating like a dragon who's been hibernating."

"What would you know about dragons?" Ron questioned.

"Well, we do have a brother who works with them, remember?" George was bending over Ron's plate now."

He does talk to us sometimes," Fred said.

Just then there was a loud pop.

"Hay, that was my breakfast!" Ron complained, jumping up from the bench. "You're going to get me back in the hospital wing!"

"Ah, it's just a little smoke," Fred soothed.

"It's disintegrated his plate," Hermione scolded.

"I'm sure the house-elves can replace it."

"They already have enough work to do," Hermione protested. "They work day and night and no one is grateful. Wizards can be so lazy and self absorbed."

"Well, we have class."

"Better get going," George added.

"See you later, brother," they said as they dashed off.

Hermione huffed and began stuffing her things into her bag. She was always reading something over breakfast whether it be a book or the Daily Prophet.

"I can't believe those two sometimes," she wined.

"We'd better get going," Harry said, trying to distract her.

"What about my breakfast?"

"Is that all you think about?" Hermione lectured.

"Come on, Ron," Harry pleaded in an attempt to dissolve the argument that was about to erupt.

We walked to class with Hermione complaining about house-elf rights the entire way.

Professor Sprout had us working on an herb garden project. Because of the coming cold weather we would soon have to insulate our small garden plots. We had abandon the green houses for sections of earth. The professor had emphasized the importance of learning to work directly with native soils. I shared a plot with Neville and felt lucky I had done so. He excelled in Herbology and worked at it with great fervor.

"The basil has done well," he commented. "It's a North American variety. Did you grow any plants while you were there?"

"My mom does. I've never taken an interest."

"That's too bad. They're quite interesting you know. Food, medicine, decoration, it's all plants that do it."

"Wonder how Hermione and Harry are getting along?"

"Looks like they're doing fine. They've got quite a few weeds."

"Glad we don't."

"Ron and Dean have a right mess," Neville said sympathetically.

"I don't regret not working with Ron."

"Suppose not," Neville said with a grunt. He was pulling up the few weeds we did have. "Ron is having a hard time bending over, maybe I should go and help."

"That's what Dean is for," I said.

"He's not doing such a good job of it," Neville complained.

"Ron should be coaching him. It's their project."

"I'd think you of all people would understand needing a little help. I mean…I sometimes, well, I sometimes need it to."

"Do you ask for it?"

"No, not always," he admitted.

"That's where we're different," I said bitterly.

"But you want to sometimes."

I busied myself with the garlic chives. I pinched them between my fingers and sniffed dramatically several times as if I was having trouble catching their scent. Then I watered them gently, pretending that the task was taking all my concentration.

Neville was right. I did need help a lot of the time. I wasn't totally independent. I often didn't ask and I had always felt a sense of pride at that. It was really nothing to be proud of though.

"You're right," I admitted.

"Right about what?" Harry asked when he approached our plot.

"That sometimes it's necessary to ask for help," I said. "Or at least that sometimes I'd like to."

"Why don't you then?" Harry asked.

"I'm gonna go see if Ron and Dean need any help," Neville said.

"I try to be independent," I explained. "It's a sense of pride. I'd rather fail by myself then triumph with a leg up."

"What good does that do?"

"It gives me a sense of pride and accomplishment."

"You can have those after getting help too. I did after facing Voldemort. I never could have done that alone."

"That's different. That was something huge to overcome."

"What do you call getting around in a world where everyone can see? easy?"

"No."

"You can't push friends away."

"You sound like Hermione."

"Sorry. I just want to help."

I brushed the dirt off my hands onto my robes nervously. I had real friends now. It felt weird. They just accepted me for who I was. There was no need to put on an act in front of them. I should have known that, after they hadn't spread rumors about my magical abilities. They were trust worthy and their attempts at friendship were genuine.

Harry wasn't as bad as I had first thought him to be. I would take him up on his near offer to help me. I rummaged in my bag for my Muggle Braille labeler. When I finally located it I pulled it out with a flourish.

"Will you help me Braille these plant markers? I don't know them all by smell yet."

"Yeah," Harry replied. "What do I do?"

"Just read me each tag , and I'll make a label for it."

"That's all? Alright."


	15. Independence

Owl Eyes

Chapter Fifteen

Independence

Long white stick is held.

My steps true, free, and bold.

Freedom dawns once more.

"All are accounted for, Headmaster," Lupin announced.

"Wonderful. Let's begin. Shall we start by discussing the markings which recently occurred?"

He spoke it as if it was a question but really it was a suggestion, maybe even an order.

"There were some surprises," Snape began.

He went on to give a full account about who was marked and what tasks they might be given. Apparently the hospital wing had been quite full following the initiations. Snape's tone sounded bored. He seemed far from worried.

"What are we going to do about the school?" a woman asked sounding clearly distressed.

"You mustn't worry, Molly," Dumbledore soothed. "The castle is well protected. There are wards protecting against dark magic and the children watch out for each other."

Harry shifted beside me and muttered something under his breath which sounded like, "Yeah, right."

But Harry isn't safe with all those Death Eaters and Lucinda, well… I-"

"Potter has proven time and again that luck will relieve him of the greatest responsibilities and keep him from dying. After all, he is The Boy Who Lived, is he not?"

Professor Snape was mocking this Molly woman.

"There must be something we can do," she spluttered again.

"Should we risk my position as a spy to protect a boy from his colleagues? They argue amongst themselves continuously. I am constantly taking points because of Potter's lack of consideration. Though I cannot be in more than one place at a time, I think that Potter can get himself out of most messes. He creates many himself so has become quite resourceful."

"What about Lucinda?" Molly asked.

"She is hardly at risk," Snape said. "No one knows of her powers. No one will find out unless there is a spy among us or she is ignorant enough to be careless, and then Merlin help her, because it is likely that we won't be able to."

I shuddered involuntarily. I hadn't realized how much my life was at risk. I knew joining the Order was a risky business but so was attending classes at Hogwarts. I couldn't use my magic anywhere in case I was seen. I needed to practice it though. Perhaps I would talk to Snape about the matter. Maybe he was not in a good position to help me with him being a spy and all.

"How are things going with obtaining recruits from Ireland, Mr. Garby?" Dumbledore asked, closing the previous subject.

"Very well sir. I think they will have three individuals who will be prepared to take oaths at the next meeting."

"I have also received word from Miss Lee's parents that they are in the process of relocating. I expect that they will also join us for the next Order meeting," Dumbledore said.

I hadn't considered that I would be seeing my parents at the Order meetings. It would be much sooner than the holidays!

"Have these individuals been checked and double checked?" the gruff voice of Moody asked.

"Certainly," Dumbledore replied.

"We continually examine members," Lupin put in. "No one who means the Order harm will be allowed into our meetings or be afforded access to our information."

"Good…good," Moody said.

"Headmaster, I must ask," a woman began, "why have we not met sooner? I mean with the attack on Hogsmeade, the marking of students…I just think that we may be falling behind in our meetings. I want to ensure that that doesn't happen."

"I assure you, Miss Vance, that we have everything under control. We are doing the best we can. The attack on Hogsmeade was most unfortunate and losing students to Voldemort saddens all of us."

"We're working on the Soul Saving Contracts at the ministry."

"Yes," Dumbledore said, "Mr. Weasley has been working hard at investigating legislation on this matter. I must say that we are no closer to a solution than when we started, however, we are not giving up."

"What about the Dementors?" a man asked.

"I'm afraid there is nothing we can do," Dumbledore replied. "We will begin to prepare the students to fight them. The hex is a most difficult one though. I don't know how effective we will be."

"He will release and direct as many of them as he can," Professor Snape explained. "He wants them to reproduce as much as possible. The danger is quite real."

"Constant vigilance!" Moody shouted.

I jumped and clutched at my robes reflexively.

"Why weren't we made aware of the complete plan regarding the Dementors?"

"I wasn't apprised of it myself until recently," Professor Snape seemed to growl. "It was discussed the night the markings were carried out. The Dark Lord is most proud of himself of late."

The business had been carried out. The meeting drew to an anticlimactic end. As I left the cabin and made my way through the exhaustion spell, I wondered what it might be like to attend a meeting as one of Voldemort's Death Eaters. They must believe in their cause as much as I believed in this. They must look to the Dark Lord as much as we looked to Dumbledore for guidance and wisdom. Could I ever enjoy being a part of them like I enjoyed this?

"Righ' then," Hagrid was saying, "yeh have got to work with these here eggs like they are goin' teh hatch at any minute."

We stood in a semi-circle around our Care of Magical Creatures Professor listening carefully. Well, most of us listened carefully. Some of the Slytherins thought they were above listening to him. The majority of us had learned that paying attention in his class was a safety measure. Many of the animals he presented were quite dangerous. Sometimes the danger was unavoidable because Hagrid often knew very little about the animals we were caring for. His curiosity often got the better of him and he was known to bring species which were not studied often and on whom little information had been recorded.

Fire lizard eggs were the topic of the lesson. We had each been given an egg. Apparently they were from a far away land. They were supposed to imprint on us at the moment of hatching so we were forced to carry them everywhere. I began to worry that I would drop my egg.

"Now yeh have teh keep 'em warm and with yeh at all times. They need somethin' teh imprint on. If yeh leave them with a friend they won't be yours when they hatch. If yeh don' have one imprinted to yeh at the end of the week yeh will fail this assignment."

"What happens if our Fire Lizard dies?" Malfoy asked.

"Well, yeh won' wan' tha' the happen."

The Slytherins in the class snickered.

"Yeh'll need teh keep food round yeh too. They'll be right hungry when they hatch out, see."

"Uh, what do we do with them when we're, you know…in the shower?" Neville asked.

"Keep 'em in yer sight. Tha' is all yeh gotta do."

"Nice to know that you shower," Pansy said rudely.

"Some of us do," I shot back in a moment of bravery.

I was tired of the Slytherins picking on the Gryffindors. The mature thing to do would have been to ignore them but somehow I couldn't bring myself to do that.

"Now, put 'em in their pots. You'll need teh perform a cushioning charm on 'em. Yeh all should know how to do tha'."

"I think yours is the only green one, Lucinda," Hermione informed me.

"I don't understand green real well."

"Hmmm."

"It's like moss or something," Harry said.

"It's warm," I said.

The egg was small and smooth. If it was the color of moss it must be moss that had been sitting in the sun. Moss wasn't smooth though.

"Moss isn't smooth."

"It's the same color as a plant though," Ron tried to explain.

"Green is like wet grass and clovers. It's like spring smells. Outdoors and fresh things," Harry said.

"I can't picture those things in color."

"You don't have to," Hermione said. "Colors have emotions associated with them. It's been proven with research."

"Oh, no, not research again," Ron said.

"It's true. My parents looked up all sorts of color combinations when they were remodeling their office. They wanted people to feel relaxed. Some people get so worried when they go to see the dentist."

"What color did they pick?" I asked, now curious about the relationship between colors and emotions.

"Blue for the exam rooms," Hermione said. "I don't remember what color the rest of it is. I don't go to the office often."

"Well, at least my egg is unique," I said as I placed it carefully into its pot and covered it with a fine layer of sand.

"I'll cast the cushioning charms if you want," Hermione said.

"Good," Ron replied. "I forgot how to do it."

"Typical," Hermione huffed.

"I can do my own," I said confidently.

"Hold it still, Ron. I can't do it while you're moving around."

"Will you do mine?" Harry asked.

"I offered, didn't I?"

I cast the charm to cushion my egg quite easily. I also performed an additional heating charm on the pot. I couldn't rely on Hagrid's magical abilities to keep the egg warm if he was the one who had set up the pots. He didn't seem magically talented at all, but a more loving soul you could never find.

"Righ' then, yer all excused fer today. Take yer eggs with yeh when yeh leave and take good care o' 'em," Hagrid said just as I was finishing.

Harry and I had been summoned to Professor Snape's classroom. Not his office or the Charms' classroom. I was confused. It seemed that the many fragile vials and explosive potions' ingredients were not a good back drop for dueling. When we entered the room things were made clear to us.

"It's nice to see that you are on time for once," Snape said. "Sit."

I moved forward and sat behind the long table in my customary spot. Harry pulled out a chair and slid in beside me. We were silent.

"This evening you shall have the pleasure of brewing two useful potions. I am sure that you have no other pressing matters which need your attention so I intend to keep you late into the night. You are free to conjure strong tea should you require it but I ask that you do so in the hall. I cannot rely on the accuracy of your foolish wand waving in the classroom. These ingredients are quite, shall we say, volatile."

He began sliding jars along the table's length as if to rearrange them. I hadn't even noticed there had been jars on its surface.

"Now then, you will brew with more care than you have exercised in the past. I shall not have my time, nor my ingredients, wasted. I'm afraid Mister Potter will have to read the directions aloud, Miss Lee. This particular potion is not in your text books."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Liquishield," Harry said.

"The consumer will be shielded from any spell. It sometimes works for up to three hexes depending on the strength of each," Snape explained."

Why don't people just drink it continuously during battle?" Harry asked.

"If you had examined the ingredients, and paid enough attention in potions' class, you would notice that the essence of hemlock in the liquid would kill a person if too much was ingested in a short amount of time."

"How can the hemlock be used at all?" I asked."

It is merely the essence. The plant has soaked in distilled water for a month and then the water, only, is used. It is bottled as essence of hemlock with one part hemlock water to ten parts clean water. It is in this way that a few positive effects of the hemlock are retained, but the plant does not in any way threaten the life of the potion drinker if, only one dose is taken." He emphasized one dose.

"What use is the potion if you can't drink it continuously?" Harry asked.

It was a good question but I thought I knew the answer.

"Should you become injured, at such time as your luck runs out, you might want to drink it so that you cannot be hexed while you are incapacitated. It might afford you the time you need to Apparate or seek assistance."

"Right," Harry said seriously, his questions answered.

"Now, brew!"

We did just that. We didn't talk about anything except the potion. Harry read the directions off of the board and we worked diligently. It was important that we not mess this up. We would be bottling it and testing it during our next session with Snape. I was a little afraid of the curses he might try to throw at us if he knew our potion would protect us from them. Perhaps he'd assume that if we had made it wrong we deserved some severe injuries. It was hard to know how the man's mind worked, even though I liked to think that I was beginning to make headway.

I measured and added the ingredients which Harry prepared and handed to me. The potion needed almost constant stirring. It would not have been hard to use a charm to achieve the necessary constant motion, but I found the action relaxing. I also had little else to do.

Professor Snape checked our progress in between grading papers. I could hear his quill scratching like a caged animal when I listened for the noise. It didn't sound like he was enjoying himself at all. I was sure he liked brewing potions and conducting research more than he did spending his time in the presence of children and reading their inferior attempts at explaining the subtle art which he lived and breathed.

"I must go into my quarters for an item I have forgotten," he said. "When you have finished this potion, and the solution has thickened, start on the next project. Bottle all of the potion. Don't waste any of it."

His steps retreated and the door slammed shut.

"He must think we brewed it correctly if he doesn't want us to waste any of it," I said.

"Don't know why he would."

"Well, we're not terrible students."

"Depends on who you ask. Snape doesn't seem to think very highly of us."

"What's the next potion? Did he leave directions?"

Harry stopped chopping to look up at the black board. He sucked in a breath.

"Veritaserum," he said in awe.

"Oh, wow. Let's finish up this boring stuff and get started on it."

"It looks hard."

"Wonder why he wants us to brew it then?"

"Don't know, could be useful for torturing Death Eaters."

"I'm not sure the Order wants us to torture anyone."

"Gather information then," Harry said.

I continued stirring. We were both silent. The potion seemed to take forever to thicken but in time the stirring became more difficult.

"It seems thick enough to me."

"I'll get a bottle then," he replied.

He walked across the room and opened the cupboard. Several bottles slid along one of the shelves with a groan. The wooden doors clanged shut and he was returning to the table, an armful of bottles clinked together as he came.

"I'll clean up, you bottle," I said.

Two hours later we had finally finished with both potions. Snape inspected them carefully. He shook the bottles, held them up to the light, and sniffed deeply. He had been reasonably satisfied with our work. It meant that we didn't have any extra homework to do, nor did we have to repeat the brewing that night. We would have to test the potions though. I was sure that it would be a safe venture. After all, he was a potions master and I was confident in his ability to assess a potion without consuming it. I wasn't sure that Dumbledore would approve of us testing the veritaserum though.

As I sat in the common room much later I imagined myself forcing a Death Eater to drink the truth serum. What questions would I ask? What information would I want to gather? I wondered if professor Snape would teach Harry and I how to question someone under veritaserum or how to fight the potion. We had certainly brewed enough for several such lessons. He had explained that our potion couldn't be used at a trial because only potions made by masters could be used in such a situation. He had also said that the solution wouldn't go to waste. He was clearly not a wasteful man.

"What're you thinking, Lucinda?" Ginny asked, flopping down in a chair beside me.

"Just about a lesson Harry and I had."

"What was it about?"

"I can't really say."

"Keeping secrets again?" Ron muttered setting down his book softly.

"What else is she supposed to do?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know."

"I'm just glad it's not me."

"It's not so bad, Ginny," I said. "At least I have Harry to talk to."

I didn't sound totally convincing, even to myself.

"Did you order a new Muggle cane?" Hermione asked, changing the subject.

"No, not yet. I need a catalog to do it. I also don't think I ought to do it by owl post."

"The Muggles would have a heart attack!" Ron exclaimed.

"Quite possibly."

"What if we transfigured something into a cane?" Hermione suggested.

"Like what?" I asked.

"Well, it'd have to be something similar. None of us are incredibly good at transfiguration."

"No reason to be so modest," Harry said as he approached the table.

"Why not just use a stick?" Ron asked.

"Just where are we going to get a stick?"

Hermione didn't seem as if she was going to give in to Ron's suggestion. Perhaps she wasn't interested in what he had to say.

"The Forbidden Forest," he whispered back.

"Ron, you can't!"

"Just why not?"

"How will you do it? It's dangerous! You'll get in trouble!"

"Sssshhhhh," Harry hissed. "Everyone will hear you."

"So what if they do," Hermione challenged. "Ron isn't really going into the forest. Are you, Ron?"

"Yeah," Ron said confidently. "I am, and Harry can come with me. We'll use the invisibility cloke."

"What if you get caught?"

"We'll lose house points," Harry said. "It wouldn't be the first time. It's no big deal really."

"No big deal!" Hermione screeched.

"Hermione, you're getting a little over excited," Ron said, rising from his seat. "C'mon, Harry."

"I'll go get the cloke."

"Boys," Hermione sighed.

"We're just trying to help," Ron said in response.

"You don't have to do it," I said. "I'll figure out another way."

I secretly hoped that he and Harry would go find an appropriate stick. It would save me a lot of trouble and I'd have a cane right away. I'd been missing my independence.

"Maybe Hagrid could carve you one out of wood," Hermione suggested. "It'd be easy for him to go into the forest."

"My parents might be able to send one by owl," I suggested.

"That'll take too long," Ron protested.

"We're going," Harry said as he walked passed.

The common room emptied over the next hour. Even Ginny went off to bed. Hermione and I waited for Ron and Harry to return. I was surprised that most people had been working so late anyway. Harry and I had been in the potions classroom for a long time and I had expected most people to be in bed when we returned.

The waiting gave me a chance to complete a long essay for History of Magic. I was inspired to stay awake and finish it, even if it wasn't my best work. If Harry and Ron hadn't been off on an adventure I would've just gone to bed not caring if the assignment was completed or not. It wasn't due for another few days. Hermione of course reminded me that it was good to keep ahead on coursework.

She made a good study companion. She moved about continuously, but her actions were almost comforting. Her quill scratched sporadically. She shuffled through parchments with an occasional sigh and slid books around on the table carefully. She seemed to handle them like one would a fragile bird. When she opened them delicately she'd flip to a page as if she knew where it was all along. She never pressed the page edges hard with her thumbs in an attempt to hunt down information like it was a wild beast. She rarely spoke, but I liked studying with her better than alone. It was nice to spend time with someone who was unintrusive, even if for a short time.

Finally the boys returned, panting.

"Filch was after us," Ron said breathlessly. "I sneezed and he heard us. I thought Mrs. Norris was going to nose the cloke even. Filch was way behind us though."

"Serves you right," Hermione shot back.

"Did you find one?" I asked.

"Here," Harry said.

He thrust a slender long stick into my hands. It was nearly straight and seemed light weight.

"It seems perfect."

"Took us a while to find it."

"You sure Filch didn't see you?" I inquired.

"Yeah, we lost him a few corridors back," Harry said.

"Good," Hermione said, relieved.

"Can you transfigure it, Hermione?" Ron asked.

"Maybe. I hope I won't need to go to the library."

"We really need to learn to summon books from there," Ron said.

Hermione had already taken the stick from me and stepped away from the table. She was casting spells on it in no time. The first one straightened it completely. The second made it slightly thinner. Next she tried a basic ironing spell to smooth the stick's surface. It didn't work. In a moment of creativity she tried a shaving spell which did work. The rest of us were quite impressed that she would know such a thing and think to use it in this situation.

"It needs a handle," Harry commented.

"Can I see it?"

Hermione handed it over. I ran my fingers up and down it lightly. It would certainly do. I stood and pulled it against the front of my body. I preferred that a cane reach to the middle of my chest.

"Not quite tall enough," I explained.

"That's easy," Hermione said.

She lengthened it where it rested.

"Be careful," Harry warned. "You might make Lucinda taller instead."

"You forget who you're talking to," Ron said. "This is Hermione. She doesn't mess things up."

"Well not usually," Harry admitted.

"Right," Hermione said, still focused on the cane. "A handle."

"What if we just round off both ends?" Harry suggested.

"I think that'd work."

"Yeah, it would," I agreed.

Again it took a few tries, four to be exact, before Hermione was able to complete the desired task.

"It needs to be white for Muggles to understand it," I explained.

"Alright," Hermione said.

She prepared to cast the coloring spell.

"Wait," Ron said. "That's just a simple spell. I can do it."

In an instant he had cast the coloring charm. His pronunciation was slightly off though.

"Oops,"

"Ron, that's purple," Harry scolded.

"I know."

"I'll fix it," Hermione said. "Give it here."

Finally the last spell had been cast. I walked around the common room to test out my new cane. It was quite solid, and therefore provided a great deal of feedback when it came into contact with anything. It wouldn't bend or break easily like some of the models I had previously owned. What friends I had! I had always seen my cane as a source of freedom. They had helped give me back that independence.

"This is great! It's perfect!"

"It doesn't look anything like the old one," Hermione said critical of her own work. "The other had a red tip too."

"It's supposed to have," I pointed out. "I am not good at coloring spells though."

"Gee, I wonder why?" Ron joked.

We all laughed.

"We can add it tomorrow," Harry said. "We'll need the library to learn how to color something in, otherwise the whole thing will turn red. I'm knackered anyway."

"Thank you," I said. "All of you."

Mutters of your welcome could be heard as I slipped off to bed.

As I disrobed I reflected on my new existence. This place had not been what I had expected. In many ways it was quite overwhelming. I wasn't used to a bunch of sighted peers. I wasn't used to being taught by a variety of professors. Sure, I had had some of both, but never so many. I had never been away from home either. My friends had not been like Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They were loyal and trust worthy. They accepted me the way I was and without pity. I was so grateful for their friendships.

I ran my hands over the new cane once more before drifting off to sleep. What a gift. It was more than just a cane. It was a symbol of love and friendship. I would cherish this particular cane.

Once more I sat in the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom. I thought of how much time I wasted every week in this room. Listening to Wiggins talk was not only dull, but pointless. I was tired of listening to her snap at students too. She was never satisfied with what her pupils said or did.

We passed our homework assignments forward. I had written six inches more than what was required. I had not found the task difficult at all. I certainly wasn't being challenged in this class.

She started the discussion over the homework. No one was very enthusiastic about answering her questions. Not even Hermione was eager to raise her hand in this class.

"And, what is different about the eyes of a werewolf compared to those of a regular wolf?" Wiggins asked the class.

"They retain the coloration they had while in human form," I said.

"First, you did not raise your hand, Miss Lee. Second, I don't see how a visual characteristic is of any use to you."

"I never said that it was of use to me. I simply answered your question. Regardless of what is useful to me I will be tested on the subject and need to know everything about it, do I not?"

"You will have detention because of your argumentative attitude."

"I wasn't arguing."

"Silence! That's two nights of detention," she hissed.

She moved along with the lecture before I had a chance to say anything else. I wanted to throw my book at her! How could I get detention just for explaining myself? The woman was so rude. Who cared if I raised my hand either? She was quite controlling. I wasn't sure I could put up with her for the rest of the year.

I was speechless for the remainder of the class. Never again would I offer an answer without being requested to give one. She had humiliated me in front of my classmates again. She was no better than a bully.

That evening I stomped my way to the Defense against the Dark Arts' classroom. When I arrived Professor Wiggins was nowhere to be found. I slipped along to her office. The door was open. I rested my shoulder on its frame.

"Don't just stand there. Come in."

I stepped inside. The room felt cramped. Though it was extremely hot, the air was dry. A fire burned in the fireplace. Perhaps she was waiting for a call or visitor via the Floo Network.

I shuffled my feet looking for a place to sit down. My knee came into contact with something hard. Wiggins paid me no mind. Her quill was scratching over parchment almost violently. I felt with my hands and discovered a rough, wooden chair. I sat. It was straight backed and if I didn't get splinters implanted in my rear it'd be a miracle. Professor Wiggins rolled a scroll up tightly and cleared her throat.

"I intend for you to learn a valuable lesson tonight. If you don't, there is always tomorrow night," she said bitterly.

"Yes, ma'am," I said with fake respect.

"You will write these lines over fifty times in your best penmanship."

"But-"

"Do not argue! I would think you would've learned that there is no place for arguing by now. Your defiance brought you here tonight, Miss Lee. Hush, and read the lines!"

I activated the reading spell.

"I will not argue or talk back in any way. I will never speak again without raising my hand unless I am called upon directly to speak. I understand that visual things are not a valid part of my learning process. Since this is true, my education will never be equivalent to that of my peers."

I was stunned. The woman was off her rocker!

"The last of this is not true!"

I rose from my seat, radiating rage and disrespect for her.

"You will write the lines regardless of your opinion. I don't care much about your feelings. The facts are clear whether you choose to believe them or not."

"I can't."

"You must!"

"I can not. I don't know how to write other than my name."

"I suppose that is why no school would accept you? Well, one reason at least. You are completely incompetent, Miss Lee. Your parents are failures when it comes to teaching and-"

"Don't you insult my parents! You are cruel and unfair."

"Again, Miss Lee, I care nothing about how you feel. If you are such a poor excuse for a student that you can't write then perhaps I should have you in detention until you learn how to do it. There is no such word as can't, Miss Lee. You can practice by writing your name three-hundred times on this parchment."

She produced a parchment and a thick quill.

"I cannot have you using your own quill. I believe it is charmed to write."

I did not speak.

"To the classroom with you. Return when you have finished. I have papers to grade. If you cheat I will know. Be sure that your words are neatly formed and do not overlap."

I rushed from the room slamming the door behind me.

"Another night of detention for slamming the door!"

I grumbled to myself as I stomped to the classroom. I felt as if my head would explode with untamed red hot anger. There was plenty of injustice in the world but I hadn't expected it at Hogwarts. Ignorance maybe, but not outright prejudice and cruelty. I wondered if Dumbledore knew how unreasonable Professor Wiggins was and if he approved of her teaching methods and the forms of discipline she chose to use.

I sat at my customary seat and began to write. I tried to use my fingers to be sure that the lines of my name didn't overlap. It was hard to do that, concentrate on neatly formed letters, and count the number of signatures all at the same time. I soon grew frustrated. I really didn't care if the words overlapped. I wanted my signature guide. Perhaps I should botch this first attempt and bring it to the next detention session. Surely that would not be cheating. I continued, knowing that Wiggins would not be wholly satisfied with my work.

"This is a poor excuse for penmanship," she said when I had finished and brought her the parchment. "Your lines are overlapping, your e's often look like a's, you forget to dot your I ninety-percent of the time, and, it's just poorly done. I am not impressed. You will remain in detention until I am satisfied with your progress. Once I am sure you can sign your name correctly, if that occurs before your remaining two nights of detention are through which I doubt it will, you will serve the remainder with Filch. I have no time to waste on a lost cause such as yourself."

I turned and left the room. I had nothing to say to her. I ignored her attempts to call me back so that she could add something to our rotten conversation.

As I approached the portrait of the Fat Lady I met Professor McGonagall in the corridor. It appeared as though she had just exited the common room.

"Miss Lee, you are out late tonight."

"Yes, ma'am. I had detention."

"May I ask with whom?"

"Professor Wiggins."

I didn't want to give more information than was necessary. I was worried that I might get into more trouble than I was already in. Professor McGonagall was known for being strict and I didn't want to see that side of her as long as I could help it.

"Just why have you received detention? You are a good student, and it is still early in the year."

"I answered a question without raising my hand and she didn't like that. Then she didn't like the fact that I had answered at all. She said I was argumentative. I still have two more nights to serve and more if I don't complete my work correctly."

"Professor Wiggins seems quite strict. Perhaps I will have a talk with her. I'm sure there must be some sort of misunderstanding. Don't let this trouble you, Miss Lee. I am sure that you will be able to complete whatever task she gives you quite adequately. And, do tell me if you have any problems at all. After all, I am your head of house and I am here to help."

She rested a hand on my shoulder before departing.

"Thank you, Professor," I called after her.

"Good evening," she answered.


	16. Chapter 16

Owl Eyes

Chapter Sixteen

The Hatching

Break free

From all the walls

That bind you

Come forth

From the shell that hides you

Slither and soar

Your emotions

Must not confine you

In the empty Charms' classroom we worked on the patronis charm. Harry was charged with teaching the rest of us. A small group of older Gryffindors had flocked to the empty room to learn what we could. Harry was a competent enough teacher but it was clear that things came easier to him than to the rest of us.

I tried time and time again but produced no animal, no mist, nothing at all. Hermione had worked hard and on our second night she had come up with a badger which seemed an odd animal to have. Ron was swearing occasionally because even Neville was having more success than Ron was. Fred and George were probably off pulling pranks on the Slytherins because they hadn't had success the first night we had been practicing so had apparently given up for the time being.

"I wonder if you have to be able to see the mist for it to work?" Harry asked no one in particular.

"I don't know," I said with a frustrated sigh.

"That might be true," Hermione thought.

"Maybe you should go to the library and research it," Ron said. "You've mastered it anyway."

"We need her to help everyone else," Harry told Ron.

"Maybe I'll ask Dumbledore about it," I said.

"You can't just march right up there," Ron said.

"Why not?"

"He's the Headmaster. He's busy."

"Not too busy to help a student," Hermione pointed out. "Besides, Lucinda is an Order member."

"Who else would we ask?" Harry said. "No one but the Order knows we're working on this. That's why we aren't teaching all the students just yet."

"They all deserve to learn though," I said.

"What about the Slytherins?" Ron asked.

"Them too. Anyway, I'm gonna ask Dumbledore."

"Slytherins wouldn't use it for anything good."

"Well, they can't use it to fight against us," Hermione said.

"True," Ron replied resignedly.

Just then there was a whoop from Seamus. He had produced a white bear apparently, and it was loping laps around the perimeter of the classroom.

"It's big," Hermione said appraisingly.

"Bloody brilliant!" Ron said.

"Well," I said, "I have to get going to Wiggins' office for detention."

"I don't envy you at all," Harry said.

"Good luck," Hermione encouraged.

I knocked on Professor Wiggins' door just in time. I was nearly late for my detention with the evil woman.

"You may enter," she growled from the other side of the door.

I opened the door and slipped in. Once I had stepped clear of it, I clicked the door shut behind me.

Good evening, Miss Lee," she hissed without any tone of pleasantness in her voice.

"Same, Professor," I replied bitterly.

"Are you prepared to write? Or better yet, did you bring me a sample of your writing?"

"I did not bring a sample, but I am prepared to write for you."

"Good,."

A piece of parchment and a quill were shoved roughly into my hands.

"Go to the classroom and write. When I feel you have practiced enough I will come for you. Don't forget this bottle of ink either," she said.

I reached out my left hand, while holding quill and parchment in my right, to receive the ink.

"Why ever are you standing there with your hand in midair looking entirely incompetent?" she barked.

I, I,"

"I am waiting for an explanation, Miss Lee, and it had better be a good one because you are wasting precious time, mine and yours!"

She was nearly shouting now but she had not produced the bottle of ink she had mentioned.

"I was waiting for you to hand me the bottle of ink," I said in a rush.

Now that I had gotten up the courage to deal with this woman I wouldn't let it slip away again. This school had been intimidating me. I had feared the mean professor and been scared while interacting with so many students in one place, but it was time to let all of that go. I had to start standing my ground and keep my feet firmly planted. I had, at times since I had arrived, skirted around like a mouse, but that had to end now.

"Is that how you assume the world works?" Wiggins asked. "I should just hand things to you? The world should bow to the needs and desires of the poor little disabled child?"

"No, I,"

"Because, things don't work like that here at Hogwarts. At least not so far as I'm concerned."

"I just thought-"

"Apparently you thought wrongly. You had thought that because of your malformation the world should kiss your feet but that isn't how things really work. I know Dumbledore has an affection for you, but that does not carry through to the rest of the staff, or all of your fellow students. As far as the students are concerned, I might be watching my back if I were you."

"Can I Please have the ink?"

"Not even niceties will always advance you in life," Wiggins replied as she tapped on the desk.

"Just as every request for something to be done isn't granted." I said as I dropped quill and parchment on the floor where I stood and turned to leave the room.

"What do you think you are doing!"

"I'm leaving."

"You can't leave. You have detention!"

"You wouldn't want Dumbledore to hear about our little conversation would you? After all, he does favor me. Certainly I won't say anything to him as long as you leave me alone."

Before she had a chance to reply I had left the room and slammed the door behind me. That was the last detention I would be serving with Wiggins. If she wanted anything else from me, she could ask me during class. If she didn't watch herself I'd go straight to the headmaster. I had had quite enough of her taunting and torture to last a lifetime.

The following day I found myself making my way to the Great Hall with Hermione, Ron, Harry, Ginny, and Neville. The castle had a buzzing atmosphere about it. It was as if even the air and the walls were alive. Everyone was anticipating the excitement of the the Halloween feast.

"The feasts are always great," Ron said.

"That's because all you think of is food," Hermione said.

"Better than only books and classes."

"The food is good though," Neville commented. "The decorations are usually also overdone. Flitwick always helps with those."

"In our first year a troll got let in to the dungeons," Ron explained.

"I missed that one," Ginny said. "I hadn't started at Hogwarts yet."

"I hope no other trolls show up," I said honestly.

"Ron and Harry defeated it," Hermione said proudly.

"It was nothing," Harry said. "There's Malfoy," he warned and effectively changed the subject.

"If it isn't potty, the weasel, the mud blood, the blind bat, and their two side kicks," Malfoy said loudly.

The volume of the hall quieted considerably. Everyone was waiting to hear if there would be a fight. I could imagine their mouths hanging open mid sentence and could hear their feet stopping mid step. Robes swished as the gathered students turned to face the argument.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"Nothing that concerns your lot," Malfoy shot back.

"Good, cause we're not interested in talking to someone as worthless as yourself either," Ron said.

"Is that so. I should think I'm a lot more worthy than you and your red mopped sister, at least my father has a job that pays well."

"Who cares about that?" Hermione said.

"Most respectable people in the wizarding world do, mudblood," Malfoy responded.

"Why don't you just shut up, Malfoy?" I yelled. "Nobody cares what you think and don't call her a mudblood."

"What do you know" You're just a worthless-" Malfoy began but stopped midsentence.

"What may I ask is going on here?" Professor McGonagall asked. "I can't imagine why any of you would be fighting on the way to the feast. I would certainly expect better of any student at this school, especially on a holiday."

Most of us shuffled our feet but no one spoke.

"Go on then," she said, "the feast is waiting."

We moved down the corridor in silence. Since there had just been a fight and McGonagall was still in our midst there was no longer a hum of excitement. I walked with my head lowered and my thoughts to myself. I didn't even risk a whisper to Hermione, who I was sure was walking beside me, until I was seated at the Gryffindor table. Once again I had stood up for myself and my friends. I just had to keep on doing it. It made me feel better knowing I was making my opinions clear and not letting others walk all over me if I had anything to say about it. So far this tactic had not gotten me into trouble but I wasn't sure how long my luck would hold out.

"I wonder what Malfoy's problem is?" I finally said when we sat down.

"Prejudice pureblood," Ron replied his mouth already full of food.

"At least not all purebloods are," Hermione said.

"You can say that again," said Neville.

"There's peas, pork roast, boiled potatoes, steak and kidney pie-" Hermione described the food choices.

My mind disengaged as soon as she said steak and kidney pie. My stomach knotted up. I wanted a bacon cheeseburger and a coke. I missed American food. In this part of Europe the food was bland and in need of major help. Why couldn't Hogwarts be in Italy?

I agreed to some bland options that did not include organ meats.

"That's all you're gonna eat?" Ron asked.

"Steak and kidney pie turned off my stomach."

"Sorry, shouldn't have mentioned it," Hermione said.

"It's good," Harry said.

"No thanks," I said.

"What sort of things do people eat in America," Ginny asked.

I explained to her the different dishes that were considered to be American favorites and how there were some foods that were popular in certain regions as opposed to others. Everyone was amazed at the variety, and the clinking of forks slowed as I spoke.

"hay! Look at Malfoy!" Harry said.

"Oh wow," Ron responded.

"What's going on?"

"His fire lizard has hatched," Harry told me.

"It doesn't look happy," Ginny put in.

"It's bitten him," Harry said excitedly. "Now it's flying away.

"What's it doing by professor Snape?"

"I don't know," Hermione said, her voice coming from what had previously been behind her. She had turned completely around in her seat to get a better look.

The hall had broken out into murmurs. From the volume and the pattern of the noise I could tell that everyone had parted from their original private conversations and was now watching the drama of Malfoy's fire lizard unfold. My friends gave me a detailed account of what was going on. Malfoy had risen from his chair and tried to retrieve the small blue animal but it had bitten him twice and he had given up. The fire lizard ate a small amount off of professor Snape's plate before curling up beside it. Most people were trying to suppress laughter.

Professor Snape finished his meal in a hurry and tried to make a speedy exit from the Great Hall. The blue beast would have none of that though and flew clumsily to his shoulder where it dug its talons in and refused to budge. Apparently he had a pained expression on his face, though no one could assure me that it was solely because of the sharp talons. As he approached the doors he spun around, gave Malfoy a murderous look, then retreated probably to his private chambers.

"I guess Malfoy will get a failing grade now," I said once the drama had completely unfolded.

"He might try to steal an egg," Harry said.

"I'm keeping mine hidden then."

"The rest of them should hatch soon," Hermione said.

"Wonder what color mine will be?" Ron said.

"I think Lucinda's is green," Hermione thought out loud.

Just then Neville's egg, which had been sitting on the table in its pot, began shaking back and fourth.

"Look at your egg, Neville!" Ginny said excitedly. "It's about to hatch.

Everyone began crowding around our end of the table and leaning over to watch. I started to feel claustrophobic because of the number of bodies pressed so near. Everyone was excited to see the egg hatch up close and personal and wanted to see it imprint on Neville. I was worried, that because of so many people, the fire lizard would get confused as to who its owner was supposed to be.

"Make sure it imprints on you, Neville," I said. "Otherwise you'll fail too."

"Oh, good point, Lucinda," Hermione said. Everyone back up. Give Neville some space!"

People shuffled and some rose from the bench.

"Wonder if we should get our eggs out of here?" Harry said.

"I dug in my pocket for my egg. I had kept it in my robes even though it was large and heavy in its pot. It felt warm in the sand but nothing was happening to it.

"Look at it rocking back and fourth," Ron commented on Neville's egg.

"That there is a lively one," Fred said.

"Bet Neville has fed it something special," said George.

"I haven't," Neville admitted.

"You can't possibly feed an egg," Hermione said.

"Oh look, there it is," Lavender Brown said.

"You'll scare it, ssshhhh," Hermione said bossily.

"It's sort of goldish," Harry said.

"No, I think it's a bronze," said Hermione. "Hagrid will know. Or, if a gold hatches we will be able to compare the two, but it looks bronze to me."

"Whatever it is, it's cute," Neville said and he began talking to it and trying to feed it.

"Maybe we should go back to the common room and spread out on a table where it's less crowded," Hermione suggested.

"Yeah," Ron said, "I wouldn't want to end up like Malfoy."

"He still looks mad," Harry reported.

"You'd be mad too," I said.

"Wonder what happened?" Hermione asked.

"Don't know, but it wasn't good." Ron replied.

Just then I heard a clanking sound from within my robes. I put my hand to my pocket. I could feel, through my robes, that something was tapping against the side of the pot contained there.

"I think mine is going to hatch!" I exclaimed.

"We'd better get it to the common room," Hermione said. "Hurry, take my arm."

I did just that and we rushed through the castle halls to get somewhere quiet.

"Wait, we forgot food!" Hermione's tone was worried.

"I'll get it," Harry said and turned to run back to the Great Hall.

"Get extra," Ron yelled over his shoulder.

When we made it to the common room I quickly removed the pot from my pocket and set it on an empty table so that I could gently remove the egg. This I set beside the pot. Ron and Hermione stood behind me.

"It has a crack in it," Hermione announced.

"Wonder if I can touch it?"

"Not sure. You don't want to interfere with its hatching."

I wanted to feel the crack. Was it small? Vertical? Did it extend around the entire circumference of the egg? I did not know, but Hermione was right, I didn't want to ruin the hatching process. I wanted a strong healthy fire lizard.

The egg trembled as it made the rocking sound of something thrown on a table that wobbles until it is able to settle after the sudden motion. I waited.

"Here it comes," Hermione said.

"It's green!" Ron said.

Just then Harry came in panting and bringing whatever food he had grabbed.

"Wow, that was fast," he said between breaths.

"It's kind of ugly," Ron said.

"Be quiet, you might upset it!" Hermione scolded.

"Hello," I said putting out my hand. "Hello little lizard. Do you have a name?"

"If you expect it to answer you you're nutters," Ron said.

"You never know," I said.

I inched my hand along the table carefully, my fingers extended. Finally the tip of my index and middle fingers reached a mass of slime. I withdrew abruptly. Then, thinking I might disappoint the lizard, I reached out for her again. I cringed at the texture but took her into my hand.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, I was, even though I had just been eating.

"Here," Harry said, "I found a bit of chicken.

He pressed the meat into my left hand, the one that was not holding the green hatchling. I held up my palm so that she could eat. She was ravenous and divowered the food with great gusto.

"They come out awful hungry," Ron commented.

"Sort of like you at every meal," Hermione said.

"I think even Ron has better manners than that," Harry said.

"It's quite an interesting creature," Hermione said.

I then began examining her. She was tiny and her little wings seemed so fragile. She felt warm and slippery. I could hardly stand the feel of her.

"I wonder if I can wash her off," I mused aloud.

"I don't see why not," Hermione said. "You might not want to use water though."

"Right."

I used the sleeve of my robe to wipe her clean. The garment had to be washed anyway.

Then it was Ron's turn to have an egg hatch. The process started all over again. His was a brown and he complained about its dull color but somehow it didn't upset his fire lizard who was quite attached to him from the moment its head popped out of the egg shell. Hermione hatched a gold and Harry a bronze. All over the room eggs hatched but we kept to our little table. Ron quickly named his Twig because he claimed it looked like one brown, long, and wet, like a twig in the rain. Harry called his kiz for no reason at all. Ron said that Hermione's was the prettiest of all. She looked like the light of a flame or a polished galleon. Hermione named her Cressida, a woman from some Greek legend she knew. I thought it was a pretty enough name.

"I don't know what to name mine," I said. She was now perched on my forearm and would occasionally lift and lower her wings.

"Well, name her something that is green," Harry said.

"Moss?" I asked.

"What kind of name is that?" Ron asked.

"Well it does go with Twig," Harry commented.

"I don't know a lot of green things. Emerald? Apple? Grass? Clover?"

"Emerald and Clover aren't bad," Hermione said.

"She needs a better name though," I said stroking along her back and neck with my index finger.

"Well, she is the color of moss," Ron decided.

"Yeah," Harry agreed.

"All green and fresh looking."

"Yeah."

"How about Kale?"

"What's a Kale?" Ron asked.

"It's a plant," Hermione informed him.

"You eat it," I said.

"Well," Ron began, "I usually avoid most green vegetables, but I'm suddenly hungry enough to eat anything."

"What's new about that?" I asked.

"It's the fire lizards maybe?" Hermione suggested. "If they're anything like dragons that is."

"Dragons?" Harry asked.

"Yes, dragons and humans can share special bonds. Well, some literature says that. Some Muggle literature that is."

"What do Muggles know about dragons?" Ron asked.

"I don't know," Hermione said. "Perhaps they are wizards writing Muggle stuff. Anyway, they're just stories but some say that the dragons and the humans have empathy for what the other one is feeling."

"So it's like a link between them?" I asked.

"Exactly."

"Well, I'm not hungry." I yawned dramatically.

"Your lizard has gone to sleep, that's why," Harry said.

"Good excuse to go to bed then," I said.

The following evening I found myself in Snape's classroom with the vials of potion Harry and I had made, before me on the desk. I had known Snape would have us test them. His footsteps slid along the floor in the front of the room. He talked as he walked but it was difficult to catch his strides because they were so light and his voice held my full attention.

"As I have found the potions you brewed somewhat adequate we shall test them tonight. We will start with the veritaserum. If we don't run out of time due to foolishness and incompetence, we will go to the Charms' classroom to test the liquishield. Drink, both of you."

I immediately did as we were told. I didn't like wasting Snape's time. He didn't like it to be wasted either. I suddenly felt light headed. The potion only took a few moments to begin working. I wondered if I should report my findings to Snape, but decided against it. He would be the one to decide if we had brewed it correctly. He probably wouldn't appreciate my commentary.

"You're just going to ask us questions?"

"In what other way could I test the potion, Mr. Potter?"

"Well-"

"Do you think I would be foolish enough to let you interrogate me? Drink!"

"Yes, sir."

Harry gulped the contents of the vial before returning it to the table with a clink.

I began to get nervous. What would he ask us? Would they be personal questions or would it be more like a pop quiz based on potions class or other subjects?

"Now we start with basic questions. We'll start with you, Miss Lee. What is your full name?"

"Lucinda Lina Lee."

The questions weren't so bad.

"Do you have brothers or sisters?"

"No, none."

"Is it true that Hogwarts is the first school you have attended?"

"No."

"You were not home schooled?"

"Yes, I was."

What was he getting at?

"But you attended other schools?" Snape sounded irritated.

"Yes, a school for blind children."

"Why did you attend such a school? Why hadn't your parents enrolled you in a proper school for young witches and wizards?

"They tried many times. None would accept me."

I was ashamed at having to tell Snape my life history. I didn't want everyone knowing that I couldn't get accepted anywhere but Hogwarts. Maybe Snape already knew though. Perhaps the headmaster had told him. If so, why was he trying to drag it out of me? Why was he making me spill my guts in front of Harry? Of all the things he could have asked, this was one I was quite sensitive about.

"I see. Was this school in America?"

"Yes"

"Well then, now that we have the basic information covered I will ask some more complicated questions. What do you think of your housemates?"

"Mostly they are nice but some of them are overly emotional and lean toward being arrogant. They make me feel at home though."

"It is interesting that a Gryffindor would admit that her fellow Gryffindors could sometimes be arrogant."

Of course I'd admit it. I couldn't actually lie with the potion moving through my blood stream like waters in a river bed. There was no confining the potion, no separating it from my thoughts by holding it outside my brain. Was it possible to learn to fight the potion like one might fight a curse?

He paused for a moment and took a step forward.

"Have you kissed any boys?"

"Yes"

"At Hogwarts?"

What did it matter to him?

"No"

"Anyone at Hogwarts you want to be snogging? Shagging?"

"no"

"No, no one? How do you explain this?"

How humiliating. What would he think of me now? Harry would probably think I was abnormal. I hoped he wouldn't bring up the subject with anyone.

"I don't know. I just don't feel close to any of the boys here. There isn't anyone I really like," I said trying to hide a blush.

"Not even Mr. Potter?"

Harry squirmed in his seat beside me.

"No, not even him," I said firmly.

"Well then, Mr. Potter, while we're on the subject of you we may as well begin questioning you. What is your full name?"

"Harry James Potter."

"Where do you reside?"

"At Hogwarts."

"During holidays?"

"Hogwarts, except summers when I live with my aunt and uncle."

"What do you think of your housemates?"

"They're great. It's the first place I've made real friends. We stick up for one another."

"Typical Gryffindor," Snape turned away, took a few strides and turned back."

"What do you dream of at night?"

"Voldemort, Cedrick dying, girls, living with Sirius."

"Does Black write you?"

"Sometimes."

I tried to withdraw while Harry was being questioned. After all, it was his personal life. We were friends, but not close ones, and I tried not to make his life my business. I would have to be invited to do so. We would have to be much closer.

"I see. What girls do you dream of?"

"Ginny Weasley and Cho Chang."

Cho Chang? Wasn't she a Ravenclaw? I supposed it didn't matter who she was, but did Ron know he dreamed of Ginny?

"Do you shag them in your dreams?"

I couldn't believe Snape was being so cruel.

"Yes," Harry said in a small voice.

"Interesting, even the school celebrity has wet dreams."

Harry shifted in his chair again, shuffling his feet under the desk.

"So, how does it feel to be pampered by your aunt and uncle?"

"I'm not."

"Well, that is most interesting Mr. Potter. After all, you are the boy who lived. I should think that they would want to demonstrate their affection for you. Do they not parade you around on display?"

"No, sir."

"I see," Snape was silent for a moment. "Do you enjoy living with your aunt and uncle?"

"No,"

"I suppose you wouldn't. You'd rather be with Black. He wouldn't have many rules to follow as reckless as he is."

"He's my godfather and he-"

"I am well aware of your affection for the man. I need not hear you speak further on the subject."

Snape then lifted a vial from off of the desk.

"I must say that this potion is authentic. I believe the ministry will put it to some use, though I cannot say whether it will be a good one."

"Can we go now?" Harry asked. He sounded miserable.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, I do not wish to hear any more of your private life this evening. You are excused. We will test the liquishield at a later time. That is in reference to you also, Miss Lee."

Snape made it sound like Harry was forcing him to hear about his personal life. Like Harry had just offered his embarrassing information on girls for Snape's examination. The professor made his way to the front of the room and began scrolling on a parchment, forcefully, for I could hear the quill from where I stood even over the sound of Harry rushing to leave.

"I'll catch up with you," I whispered. "I need to ask him a question."

Harry said nothing but left the room. I had no idea why I had whispered to Harry because Snape had probably overheard me anyway. I approached his desk shyly.

"Professor," I said.

"Miss lee?"

"I was wondering…well…I wondered if you had time to help me practice my control and use of the elements and my wandless magic?"

"You can practice the wandless magic in your lessons with Mr. Potter. I can't have you about the dungeons at all hours of the day and night. As for the fire, wind, and such, we can discuss that at another time. I would like to see how competent you are before agreeing to teach you, or even be around to observe you."

"Okay."

"I have an appointment with one of my Slytherins now. Come back tomorrow night at seven."

"Thank you."

He did not reply as I made my way out of the Potions' classroom and back to the common room.

Severus made his way into his office. He had felt somewhat bad about questioning Potter and Lee, but it had to be done. Besides, their embarrassment was nothing compared to the horror they might face before Voldemort. It was just another way to prepare them. He hadn't learned anything interesting really, though he did wonder why Miss Lee didn't have a love interest. She had seemed to him, so far, to be different than the other children in one way or another, and her lack of desire for her fellow students proved that.

When he entered the office the first thing he noticed was the blue fire lizard perched on the corner of his desk. It was preening itself, as if anyone cared what it looked like, and it stopped to look at him.

"I see you have made yourself at home, though you won't be staying long. Mr. Malfoy is coming to claim you. He is your rightful owner and you would do well to obey him."

The little animal disappeared at once. Could fire lizards apparate? No, that couldn't be possible, Severus mused, there was no apparating within the castle walls. Most unfortunate too, because if there was, it would be most convenient to apparate directly to his chambers after a death eater meeting. Where had the little beast gone? They seemed to be temperamental little animals.

Severus sank into his chair, his tall frame adjusting itself behind the desk so that he would still appear intimidating when Mr. Malfoy entered. He promptly began grading papers. There were always stacks of papers to grade. He even graded papers in his sleep. He would dribble red ink all over a parchment submitted by Mr. Longbottom and groan at the site of anything submitted by Ms. Granger on multiple scrolls. The dreams were nearly nightmares except for a few smiles while grading the works of a few select students. Sometimes, if he was having an exceptionally horrendous day, he would seek out the essays from these students in an attempt to cheer himself slightly. Though this tactic often backfired, for even the few best students could disappoint him on a regular basis. His standards were very high. He hadn't become a potions master by scribbling nonsense or copying off a classmate.

There was a knock at the door. Mr. Malfoy had saved him from the mundane task of filling his quill with red ink repeatedly, unless that was the headmaster? No, the headmaster never knocked, and the tapping was to firm and confident to be anything but the fist of a Slytherin.

"Enter," he said.

Mr. Malfoy stepped in and closed the door behind him abruptly.

"Your lizard has disappeared Mr. Malfoy."

"Disappeared? How?"

"Well, he or she, simply vanished when I notified it…well, the animal has left the premises."

"He," Malfoy clarified. "The blue ones are always male."

"That is none of my concern," Severus said impatiently. "I want to know how to get rid of him. Have you not learned such a procedure in your Care of Magical Creatures class?"

"No, you know how Hagrid is. He nearly got me killed. He's worthless! May as well be a mudblood, though I am sure there is some question as to his breeding."

"The breeding, as you call it, of your professors, is none of your concern. Furthermore, exaggeration will not get you far in life. Though perhaps killed at the feet of the Dark Lord if you might consider that to be getting somewhere."

Severus slowed his last words and leaned forward with a glare. Malfoy took a small step backward. He had not sat down as of yet. The boy was always so intimidated. A complete contrast to his father. His quarreling with the Gryffindors was all a facade. He did it because he could get away with it, but he would never kill anyone in a back alley, least of all Potter.

"Since you seem to know something of these creatures," Severus began, "can you explain how it disappeared and where we might locate it?"

"No, I'm not sure…Well, I may have missed that part of the lecture."

"Not paying attention in class? Splendid. Simply splendid."

Malfoy lowered his head in shame, something he wouldn't have done in the presence of others.

"What did you say or do to upset the hatchling?"

"I told it it was ugly."

"You dolt! You expected it to imprint on you after insulting it? You ignorant, imbeselic boy! I don't know why I am attempting to assist you with the salvaging of your pathetic grade. I only want rid of the little blue thing. Leave my presence now. I have no further use for your company. You have been of little use to me in getting rid of the nuisance that is supposed to be your class project not my shadow."

Malfoy turned to leave. With his hand on the door knob he glanced over his shoulder and spoke.

"Hagrid did say that once imprinted the fire lizards don't transfer to others."

"How could that be possible!"

Severus was on his feet now, his chair pushed backward behind him.

"I, I don't know, Sir," Malfoy whined, his back now pressed to the door.

"I will find a way to get rid of it. It's a nuisance. I can't go about my day with a little animal clinging to my robes. It never stops wanting food, and when it eats, I eat because it's convenient, but the way things are going I won't get any potions research done. All this eating, and swatting the creature away and getting bit," Severus held out his hands before him, on which bite marks were visible, "is making me mad. Very mad, Mr. Malfoy."

"I'm sorry, sir," Malfoy said, lowering his head.

"Go," Severus growled.

This time the boy did leave. There was no stopping at the door for last remarks. No hesitation.

Severus stocked behind the desk once more and sat forcefully in his chair. He pressed his palm to his forehead his fingers spread in an attempt to smooth away the wrinkles of frustration, though he was unsuccessful.


End file.
